Maternity Leave to-do's...or don'ts!

luv4LO

Just curious if anyone has exciting plans while on maternity leave (trips or anything)? Or maybe a list of to-do's they want to get done? I am planning nothing and anticipate my days to be spent cuddling up on baby and enjoying it.  However I have a few people in my life (not DH) that fully expect me to mow the lawn, weed the garden, ect.... since I'll be home and everyone else is at work.       

Unknown

This content has been removed.

luv4LO

aditigirl said:

I would tell them to fuck off and inform them that they have 0 say in your plans for mat leave.

 I agree!!!!!!  

luv4LO

Darbie914 said:

luv4LO said:

Just curious if anyone has exciting plans while on maternity leave (trips or anything)? Or maybe a list of to-do's they want to get done? I am planning nothing and anticipate my days to be spent cuddling up on baby and enjoying it.  However I have a few people in my life (not DH) that fully expect me to mow the lawn, weed the garden, ect.... since I'll be home and everyone else is at work.       

Who are these people?  I'm genuinely curious to know who actually expects a woman on maternity leave to mow the lawn, weed the garden, and who knows what else.  Or who expects it in general.

Your plans are your plans.  If that includes cuddling, catching up on sleep, watching hours of television while nursing, or walking around Target every day, that's completely up to you.  No one else gets a say in what you do.

Tell them you expect them to shut the fuck up.

Maternity leave doesn't equal maid service.  

DH & I have some shared land=shared responsibility with his parents (which needs mowing and also has a garden on it) and on more then one occasion my MIL has made comments like, o it will be so nice to use that stroller for the baby while weeding in the garden or you can always set the pack and play up while mowing.  My DH tells me to ignore these comments but its hard to. and he in no way expects me to be doing any of this.  My MIL is a work your a** off from sun up to sun down type of gal, so she thinks my leave is a prime opportunity to get shit done!    

bumpuser10199668

luv4LO said:

DH & I have some shared land=shared responsibility with his parents (which needs mowing and also has a garden on it) and on more then one occasion my MIL has made comments like, o it will be so nice to use that stroller for the baby while weeding in the garden or you can always set the pack and play up while mowing.  My DH tells me to ignore these comments but its hard to. and he in no way expects me to be doing any of this.  My MIL is a work your a** off from sun up to sun down type of gal, so she thinks my leave is a prime opportunity to get shit done!    

She wants you to put a newborn in the PnP while you mow?! She needs a reality check.

I understand the idea that it will be nice to have you around to help out if you were a SAHM, but I don't consider maternity leave and SAHM the same thing. And even if you were a SAHM, your number one job is MOM which means kids 1st...not shove them in PnP while you mow the lawn. That just seems..unsafe.

Your MIL needs to back up.

slippintrippn84

To answer your question:
DH and I plan on taking a trip up to see his grandmother in Erie,PA so she can see the baby. She has trouble with mobility, hearing and her eyesight. We think she's "hanging on" to see her great-grandchild so as soon as we're medically clear we'll be taking that trip.
Otherwise, the Maternity leave plan is to bond with LO, breastfeed, get on some sort of schedule, and enjoy being a family.
DH still seems to think that I shouldn't take the full 12 weeks off from work (and I am using every last damn day) so I do plan on using the time off from being in the office to get a certification to help me at work (I work in IT so something with Microsoft or CompTIA). That way I don't loose my edge for when I go back to work and it fends off the appearance of sloth.

I do find it incredibly lame that other people feel the need to intrude into your time set aside for LO with things that THEY don't want to do. What if you end up with really bad PPD and need extra help for yourself and LO? I see Maternity Leave is YOUR time to take care of yourself and a new baby. Over the course of 9 months you created and carried a new human into existence and I think 12 weeks is barely long enough to recover and adjust to that new aspect of life. God bless the women who only have 6 weeks!!

PrimRoseMama

You are on maternity leave to be maternal not to be someone's yard person, FFS. Trust, it's not a vacation by any means. Yes, snugly baby is nice but these people are insane if they think you are going to be able to be a handy person.

Peedy

DH and I will be flying to Orlando to go to Disney. It's only a 4 night trip, and we won't lose too much money if we need to cancel for some reason ( colicky baby or just not feeling up to it). We have a ton of travel/rewards points, and I won't have much vacation time after I return from my 12 weeks of mat leave.

I'd be so pissed if my MIL hinted that I should be using my time to do extra yard work.

FrodaBaggins

My plans include a biiig work project that I would be doing in my off-hours anyway (fun, though - it's a creative project), and teaching myself how to cook. That's about it!

Dani0329

My plans include adjusting to our family including a baby, and developing routines.  We do have 1 major trip planned during my maternity leave.  My brother is getting married in St. Lucia the week before I go back to work, so we will be traveling with our 3-3.5 month old baby. Yikes!

portentosa

Your MIL is nuts! I agree with PPs that she can shove it.

My maternity leave plans are to recover from giving birth (shock), figure out how to juggle 2u2, sit around nursing and being lazy with DD as much as my toddler will allow, going out to the library for reading time for DS, going to the park, my grandmother's 80th birthday party, and getting to travel over the holidays (I work retail so this is rare and I'm super excited about it).

I will also probably clean and organize around the house more and more as the time goes by and I start to get restless like I did the first time around.... but F anyone for EXPECTING a new mom to be a maid or yard worker. Seriously.

luv4LO

Thanks ladies - I agree, its nuts to assume I will be busting butt working in the yard. Glad to hear so many think the same.  

As far as my actual plans, I am going to take it one day at a time.  I am looking forward to bonding with baby, visiting with close friends and my sisters and enjoying the time.  I get 12 weeks and I know how fast its going to go! 

ILoveRunning

theresat858 said:

My plans include binge watching TV shows I haven't caught up on in 2 years while constantly nursing a newborn.

Ditto this.  Last time with DS I watched tv, went on TB, and tried to nap when he napped.  I figure I'll be slightly busier since I have a 3.5 year old, but other than that, nothing special planned.

And your MIL is insane.  I can see bringing an older baby out into the yard to keep in a pack-n-play while you did weed pulling, but a newborn?  No way.

blushingbride_08

The time goes by fast. Use the time to bond with your LO.

jess9802

Not currently pregnant, but with DS it took a couple of weeks to be able to walk and not feel like my vagina was falling out. Not to mention the bleeding, the sore arms from how my doctor had me pushing, the sore breasts, oh, and since breastfeeding was such a pain to get started, I had a mere 30 minutes from the end of one nursing/pumping/supplementing session before the start of the next one. Twelve fucking times a day. I had no time to eat or sleep, let alone pull goddamn weeds, for a good month after DS was born.

My yard looked like hell. I gave exactly no fucks about it.

kfo22

Ugh, no way. My six weeks are going to be like the blink of an eye. I wouldn't waste any time away from baby.

luv4LO

Yes I should mention I am a FTM so I don't know what to expect in regard to recovery but all my friends tell me, forget about chores, enjoy your time with baby and focus on healing and learning baby's schedule and my own.   I can't wait till he gets here!!!!  

ConversationFear

I don't even what to know what kind of bloody scene would culminate if my MIL expected me to do yard work while on ML. NOW if I WANT to, that's different, but it would be a cold day in hell before I would let her ever tell me what to do with my time - and yes, I do love my MIL, lol.

I am just looking forward to being home with LO in the Fall (my favorite season) and going for walks with him and playing with the dogs in the yard on awesome 70 degree fall days and not having to worry about jetting all over the country opening stores for my job. I am also looking forward to taking a little trip to my hometown for a period of more than a weekend for a change!

HorseLover11

Wow the nerve!! We are going to Mexico for a week when she's about 8 weeks old - we can't wait as DH is not taking "paternity leave"

Wyn

What I find funny here is:  my husband is taking three weeks off work.  (He works out of the country 3 weeks a month.)  I am taking 12 weeks off.  He thinks during his leave HE is going to do a zillion projects around the house.  As he's listed them off to me I've let it all go in one ear and out the other.  While I appreciate his industriousness, I've been very clear with him that his job will be to take care of me while I recover, get breastfeeding established, etc.

 

This is my second child (his first) and I remember from #1 thinking, "I just need someone to hold her for 5 minutes so I can take a shower."  I have no idea how single people do it...

SingleMom31

I had a hard time getting food together, while home with DD1 and usually didn't start dinner until DH got home to hold her. There's no chance that I'll be fitting in random other chores too.

Justabean3

Haha yep I got lots of plans .. They all revolve around taking care of my newborn

Feeding,changing, burping,
Getting pooped and peed on, giving baths, sleeping 10-15 mins at a time in various positions with one eye open, being up all night, chasing my toddlers..

You know, normal mom stuff