Parenting Check In

mwagner25

I will get us started today since I am up early. 

What's new this week? Challenges? New developments? 

QOTD: In light of things being a little tight financially at our house right now.... What is your favorite free activity with your LO? 

ball.and.chain

I think my challenges and new developments have been well-documented in the milk monster thread.   Otherwise, I am looking forward to a visit from a friend today.  She is a mom of 3 IVF boys and will no doubt have lots of advice for me.  She also has offered to watch B while I take a shower.  Hallelujah!

B is one month old today!!!!!

QOTW: We don't do a lot with B just yet, but I feel you on tight finances.  We have been trying to take lots of walks but it is currently thunderstorming so I don't think that is happening today!

Karlamo

I have a sleeping baby on me and I'm scared to move him to the crib so I'll go.

We're in our new house..... finally! We love it. It's so kid friendly with a finished basement, huge yard and
cul de sac. I feel like we can breathe here and not be so cramped like our old house. We kept R home from daycare all last week since we were moving. He got held A LOT. We have a very attached baby who we have to wear to get anything done but we usually can put him down for naps. But not last week. He demanded to sleep on us. I'm worried daycare on wed will be a shock to him when he's not being held 24/7.

Don't tell R, but in a few weeks were doing sleep training. We've given him almost 6 months to figure out sleeping on his own but 8 nursing sessions a night is ridiculous. We need sleep and so does he.

QOTW: walks. We love taking nightly walks with him. He hates his stroller so we wear him. We're having fun exploring our new hood.

mwagner25

We are having one issue after flying through milestones recently.  We usually do modified CIO at naps and bedtime.  It has been working well and usually we have less than 10 min of crying and he sleeps 10-12 hours at night with 3 naps per day.  In the past week since he has figured out how to stand up in his crib he will stand repeatedly and scream bloody murder until we come in.  Since he just started pulling up he doesn't have great balance and has fallen back into the crib 2-3 times now and hit his head on the sides of the crib.  So, ignoring the behavior is difficult because I don't want him falling but he has already learned that standing and screaming is an effective way to "call" mom into the room when he should be going to sleep for nap or bedtime.  Any ideas, thoughts?  Currently we are going in 5-20 times at each nap/bedtime unless he goes straight to sleep. @wallace323‌ I know you mentioned last week that you do sleep training/CIO, did your girls go through this phase? What did u do? 

The only other big new development in our house is that I am starting to slowly wean from EBF.  It was too much pressure and at work when I would pump my supply dropped and then when I would have days off he would nurse all day to get my supply back up and it was a terrible, stressful cycle.  I had tried to wean him a little a few weeks ago but he wasn't having it and mentally I wasn't ready to deal with his crying when he wanted to BF rather than take a bottle.  But for the past three days I am only BFing in the morning and at bedtime.  Therefore, I only have to pump at work if I miss an early am feed or bedtime.  In between we are supplementing with formula.  It was a struggle yesterday but after a standoff between me and him at every bottle he eventually took the bottle.  I am hoping I keep making enough for morning and bedtime BF until he hits a year, but if he doesn't I am okay with just using our freezer supply to get him BM until 1 year.  

QOTD: The zoo is free in St Louis and you can bring in your own food/drinks, so that is our favorite free activity but I am hoping to get some more ideas from you all today! 

2brides

No new developments here. Kids are trucking along in camp and having a great time. I am loving our summer schedule of no homework and low pressure in the evenings. Can't believe school starts 4 weeks from today. Ooof.

We go to the pool a lot - it is part of our homeowners fees (also covers trash, communal landscaping, snow removal - so while not technically free, is required for our neighborhood.) We also used to do a lot of playgrounds - it was my mission to find all of the cool playgrounds in the area! On hot days we'd get to the mall when they opened and let the kids play in the kids play area before it got gross and crowded. Afterwards we'd walk around and let them practice staying near us/not running off and then sometimes have a treat.  We also have some splash pads/fountains that we used to take the kids to that were free.

ATXmommas

Nothing much new here. Still no top teeth, darn it.

We're on week 5 or 6 of swim lessons. We made it to 5 seconds underwater this week and he is doing so well kicking his feet. It's really neat to see.

I posted a bit about this in the GTKY thread, but we bought him an amber necklace and put it on him Friday afternoon. I don't know if it was a coincidence, but he slept super Friday night (from 8:30 to 5:00). I forgot to put it back on him after a bath Saturday evening, and he was back to regular waking schedule. Last night he only woke once... so jury is still out, but I'm hopeful it helps with the teething discomfort and leads to better sleep.

We had major struggles with naps yesterday. If we were home with him every day, we would have to do something about it. But, since we're only dealing with daytime naps 2 days out of this week, I've been to lazy/weary to worry about it too much.

QOTW: Great question. Not much yet. We like putting him in the jogging stroller and going for a run at the trail/boardwalk. I hope that is something he enjoys. There are a lot of playgrounds, splash pads, story times, etc. around town, but he's still too young for a lot of the free activities. We went to the children's museum this weekend and he had fun crawling around the 0-3 section. Free for him, but $9 for adults - so still cost us $18.

From the museum:

2brides

As the parent of a former horrible sleeper (ie. woke till eat multiple times until after 12m), didn't sleep through the night until 3.5y, didn't put himself to sleep till 2y and we CIO) - it will get better. We read every books and tried many methods, but for us, it was time - when he was ready. Now at 8y, he goes to sleep easily and on his own, he sleeps through the night, and miraculously napped till he was 5y. I know it seems like you will never STTN again, but you will!

trisholio

Things are a new kind of crazy around our house.  I got a call Friday afternoon asking if we could take an emergency placement of an almost 1 year old little boy.  I discussed it with my wife and my sister and decided to agree to take him.  It is only temporary, at the most 14 days, but it looks like its going to be shorter.  He is just two weeks older than baby K, so having two 11 month olds and a 2.5 yr old is lots of fun!  haha.

It was actually a wonderful weekend.  Both M and K took great to the new little addition.  M shared her toys better than she ever has and K enjoyed having a little playmate her size.  We even managed to bathe them all last night without any melt downs and everyone was smiling afterwards.  It is interesting that with having new kids around the girls have been better behaved and I have had a renewed sense of family and slightly more energy.  I think its because I know I don't have a choice but to continue to function, but my wife was a super star and helped so much!  I am home with them by myself today and things have gone well so far.  Knock on wood!!!

QOTD: I am guilty of staying home too much, it is so much work all by myself!  But on the weekends I try and get the kids out more.  We do the typical parks, local mall, ect.  We also are planning next weekend to go to a free event in our town for kids, its called Fam Jam and it is for kids of all ages, rides, face painting, free food, ect.  I am pretty excited!  We also are lucky and were given a family membership to the zoo by our foster agency, so we pack snacks and head there for a few hours on occasion.  

Here is a picture of baby K and C (the new addition) having an afternoon snack of milk

JGY

stringy813  I'm wondering if some of the sleep struggles come from M being overtired, since you mentioned she only naps for 1-2 hours a day.  What time is bedtime?

One of the things that we learned from the sleep consultant we hired (and for the rest of you YES, we hired a sleep consultant because things were so difficult for us), was that sleep truly begets sleep.  The better/more G sleeps during the day, the better he sleeps at night.  But it also took us moving his bedtime UP (even just from 7:30 to 7:00) to really see some good overnight results.  I honestly couldn't believe that this kid went from fighting sleep at 7:30pm, to going down somewhat effortlessly at 7:00pm.  And he also went from 3-4 night wakings, to 0-1. 

Anyway, just wanted to throw that out there.

 

1blueridgemama

I know this isn't a helpful response for the here and now but neither of my kids slept through the night until they were two years old.  After that, no waking and they're 13 and 8 now and it's all a distant memory.  For two months since we're expecting twins...

Here's what helps me.  Their stomachs are small and memories short.  They feel hungry very frequently when they're little and may also need frequent reminders of where their safe people are.  I do believe a lot of what makes those first few years especially hard are the cultural expectations we have here that they even should or can STTN as babies.  For parents who work, that's so hard to be up a lot at night and still be expected to function.  I do wish, though, there would be a cultural shift in expectations and norms so parents aren't shocked when this magical STTN thing happens. The constant barrage of "Get your baby to STTN!" articles and new mom discussions only make it more overwhelming.  I'm not expecting these babies will STTN for a very long time and I'm preparing to be tired.  And I'm also significantly older this time which will add to my exhaustion, no doubt!

Hang in there mamas.  I promise you'll get sleep.  

1blueridgemama

When my kids were of napping age, I did follow it strictly.  We did miss out on some things but it helped ensure they would receive their consistent time and length of nap, important to us all. I also think it created a sense of schedule (sleep training wasn't for me but keeping naptime sacred was) for everyone.  If we were out on vacation or something out of the ordinary, it would get out of whack and some kids bounce off those varied schedules better than others.

mwagner25

@stringy813‌ we are on a strict schedule for naps and bedtime and like @JGY‌ we saw a sleep specialist who helped us overcome our sleep issues. Here is what our schedule looks like (granted Oliver is 8 months)

Morning out if crib: anytime after 5:45 (if he wakes prior to then he stays in his crib until that time)

Nap #1: 2-2.5 hours after he wakes *not before 8:15

Nap#2: 2.5-3 hours later *not before 11:45

Nap#3: if needed between 3-5 pm

Bedtime 7:15-7:30

Not sure if that helps since Oliver is younger, by the time he is nine months we are supposed to have him down to 2 naps.  

Jazibel

We're doing well. Had a great weekend and week last week.  EV had a work picnic/fair at our local Fairgrounds, there was a juggler, band, free food and drinks, jumpy houses, rock walls, games and pony rides to name a few things. Kaden went on his first pony ride and it was super cute.  He loved it.

Owen is turning into a "real boy" from a little newborn.  He's awake more, grabbing things with his hands, wiggling all over and full and smiles. He makes everyone who holds him feel special its really sweet.  

We went to a co-ed baby shower over the weekend and the boys got to hang out with their donor who is a mutual friend. E (or donor) is such a great guy. Also all our friends know he's the donor and its so awesome how supportive and yet respectful to our family everyone is. I am so grateful for our situation which so far has been beyond amazing.  I feel like K & O are lucky to know E, but in the way of a distant uncle who we see 1 to 3 times a year.  I even put the Ergo on E and made him bounce a tired and cranky Owen around. It was very cute. E has little experience with kids but was willing to try.

Not sure what to do about sleep training, or when to start with Owen. He'll be 3 months on 8/2.  He co-sleeps with us which I love. BUT I'd love to start teaching him to fall asleep in his bassinet.

QOTD: We try to get out of the house and do 1 fun thing a day (occasionally running errands has to count as fun).  We love parks, splash pads, the beach.  Museums, etc have a free day every first Wednesday of the month.  In August I'd like to take the grandparents and kids to the Children's museum in Marin, lots of fun hands-on exhibits and a great view of the Golden Gate bridge.

JGY

Okay here's my official check-in which will also contain some answers and comments to the above:

G turned 16 months.  Holy wow, the time flies by.  He's such a wonderfully active kid, it's just so fun.  He LOVES being outside (especially getting into the dog's water dish, which he does inside too - ugh).  Yesterday I came home from walking the dog, and S had him outside with her.  She was weeding, and she had taught him to come grab a big armful of weeds, and walk them back to the house and dump them in 1 big pile.  I was totally floored.

An awesome milestone yesterday, was watching G put 2 signs together.  He actually signed "More" and then "Please" one after the other.  We had showed him how to do that earlier in the weekend, but this wasn't prompted.  He just really REALLY wanted more of what he had been given.  Unfortunately we couldn't reward him with it. 

QOTW:  One of the zoos here in Mpls/St. Paul is free, and we did that yesterday morning.  We also have tons of parks, playgrounds, and wading pools.  The library does a lot of story time, and so do some of the (few) remaining independent book stores.  But this is MN, and that outdoor stuff really doesn't work for part of the year.  So in the winter months, we really do have some pretty awesome kid play areas in some of the malls.  There isn't much else that's free in the winter, so we try to NOT spend money on activities during the months we can be outside, and splurge a little during the winter on things like swimming lessons and (next winter) tumbling class.

Other stuff ... @stringy813, Gabe is an early riser so if he opts to sleep in on any given day, we let him!  If we have a straightforward day, or we have flexibility in when we choose to run our errands, etc, then yes we stick to a schedule.  But, in general, we don't NOT do things because of his nap schedule.  We try to make sure the he gets in the right amount of total nap sleep (for him, 1-3 hours), but are a bit flexible on when that happens.  But bedtime is pretty sacred.  And as long as his last nap ends by 4pm, he's into bed at 7pm.  That works for him, and we generally don't have a harder time getting him down than normal.  This isn't to say that we NEVER stretch bedtime later, we do sometimes if something special is going on, but we pay for it the next day.

As for G and his sleep/going-to-sleep issues, things are better but still not perfect.  After breaking the association between nursing and sleep, I've been able to return to the routine of nursing him to sleep with no negative affects on his improved overnight sleep.  He has the choice now, he can nurse to sleep if he chooses.  If not, he says "All done" and then I tell him that's fine, but it's time to go to sleep in his crib.  He usually cries for a bit, and I'll stay with him until he lays down and settles.  Sometimes he cries a bit when I leave, but it's typically not more than about 3-4 minutes.

 

redrockmama

Things are okay over here. The weekend went by so fast. It didn't help that all day yesterday I felt like I was taking care of M all by myself. This parenting gig is definitely a work in progress. I know my wife misses him and wants to spend time with him. but when she is here she rarely holds him and/or helps with him. Sometimes I just need a break from holding him almost all day, but she seems to think I can't or don't want to do "chores" because I usually can't get anything done when I am home alone. So she just gets focused on that stuff, even when I tell her I will do it and she can take the baby. Sigh...we just need to figure out a better plan because I am exhausted. I love him so much and LOVE that I get to spend all day with him, but I don't have more than 30 seconds to myself all day. It'd also be nice to just talk with her when she gets home, like if I am nursing and she can't take him, but if I'm nursing she just leaves us and does her own thing. Sorry rant over. 

All this sleep talk makes me a little scared. Right now M isn't on any schedule and we aren't really planning on it, other than a loosely scheduled bed time. We'll see how it goes when I head back to work in 3 weeks. 

QOTD: We also don't do much cause he's so little. I do like to take him for a long walk everyday, it's really the only thing that calms him down when he just wants to nurse all day. We live next to a nice park with a pond, some playgrouds, a splash pad, and another water thing. There is also an aviary, which isn't free, but all the other stuff is. The mountains are 10 minutes away and we'll do a lot of hiking once he gets bigger. I imagine we'll have the nanny take him to the library a lot too. I don't know any other free things. I guess we have a few months to learn more about fun kid things to do around here. 

KH826

So, I haven't had time to read everyone else's posts just yet, but I wanted to do my check-in quickly before the rest of the day/night gets away from me.

Today was my first day back at work! Ahhhh! It has been totally crazy. I am going to be very busy for a while trying to get caught up, but I think that is good. Better than the alternative. It seems I was missed while I was out, so that makes me feel good, and I will be glad to feel needed at work and have a sense of security on that front (as opposed to "we decided we didn't need you after all!"). Anyway, my wife has been texting me photos throughout the day, so I am happy about that. I really miss my little guy, so I can't wait to get home tonight (almost!) and see him. I am proud of myself though, I haven't cried today! I really thought I would. I am sure there will be hard days, but today feels manageable, and I feel like I can handle this whole working mom thing. At least for today. My wife being a SAHM is really what is making this possible. At least for me to feel comfortable at this stage of the game anyway.

So Will turns 8 weeks on Wednesday! Unreal! He is enjoying tummy time, and has seemingly really great head control. He is also smiling a ton, and has started vocalizing a lot more in just the last week. His gooing and cooing is just the best!

We think he just started another growth spurt in the last 2-3 days because he has been eating and sleeping a lot! He had been going 3 hours between feedings during the day, but right now he really seems to only make it 2 hours or 2.5 hours before his next "I'm starving meltdown." But, he also has been sleeping for long stretches at night, so I think he is making up for not eating at night by needing to eat more during the day. Last night he slept from 10pm to 6am (I know this likely won't last, so I am not going to refer to it as sleeping through the night at this young age)... but so he ate at 9:30pm and again at 6:15am, so that is almost 9 hours between feedings, but then during the day he wants to eat every 2ish hours. I feel like he is just making up for the night time feedings he isn't getting during the day. What does everyone think about this? Anyone experienced this with their LOs?

Oh, I mentioned last week Target brand diapers. Newsflash: we hate them! We had used Pampers Swaddlers since birth, but decided to try the Target ones based on recs from multiple people since it would be such a money savings. We have had one pee-through, and two blow-out poops. Yep, sticking with Pampers!

What else?.... Oh, I am warming up to baby wearing! My wife has been into it from the start, but has only worn him outside the house a handful of times. We have a Boba wrap and a Lilbaby (sp?) structured carrier. I tried the Lilbaby, but I felt like it was too bulky for me. Well, we bought a Mei Tai (sp again?) on Saturday, and I really like it. I wore him around the house on Saturday night and we both enjoyed it! HAHA

Ok, that is all I have time for at the moment. I will try to log back on later, but no promises. Once I get home I just want baby snuggles!!!!!!!!!!

Jazibel

@stringy813‌ - I'm probably not the norm but we only have a loose schedule. When I'm home ill do naps around the same time-ish but I also watch for cues. If we're going out we'll be flexible with naps and bedtimes. It's worked for us. Kaden can sleep almost anywhere and his night wakings are usually not affected.

Kaden woke 1-3 times a night until he was weaned at 12 months. He would usually just wake, eat and go back to sleep. But still waking up in the middle of the night is not my favorite. I do agree that sleep begets sleep. The more he napped the more he slept at night. Owen is still sleeping a ton so we'll see what and when that changes.

Pinkspark

Hi everyone!

The twins are doing ok! I took them to the pedi to get weight and head circumference checks this morning- Little man isn't even on the preemie curve anymore! WOOHOO! Little lady is hanging out at the 2nd percentile of the normal 3 1/2 month olds too! Made me feel good that they are catching up. They also have discovered that they can blow spit bubbles and eat their own fists! 

We did get a new dose of zantac, and a referral to a GI specialist because it looks like we may have to go to prilosec. As soon as the kids put on more weight past the zantac dosage, the feed volumes crash. Whatever we gotta do is fine with me. 

This is my last week of maternity leave- it's hard to believe that 16 weeks has gone by already! I'm really trying to cherish all my uninterrupted time with them. since it's my last week at home it also is a trial run of getting the kids up, fed, and ourselves ready to go like we were both going to work. This am was interesting.. but that's why it's a trial run!

Our two still don't have the feed volumes high enough to even attempt to try to STTN. As it stands, they have a feed at 6-7pm along with the bedtime routine, then they sleep until they wake up for a feed at 11-12, then again at 2-3am.. and up at 4:30-5am..  I really can't wait for them to get more than 4oz at a time down. I think it will make things so much easier to eliminate one of those night feeds.

QOTD:  Since they're only 3 1/2 months old they don't require much to entertain them. I try to take them for walks and I expect that to continue when they do get more aware! Among my other nerdy pursuits- I'm into astronomy, and Letterboxing! When the kids get older I'm definitely going to try to expose them to both things since it requires very little $$ in materials!

trisholio

I'm pretty sure I jinxed myself. Yesterday I was reading the thread about sleep training and counting my blessings that right now all our kiddos are sleeping thru the night. Well our new placement (as of Friday) baby C decided to get up at 330 this morning and hasn't gone back to sleep. My wife tried for about an hour to get him back down with no luck, so I got up and brought him downstairs. He is sleeping in our room right now since we moved the crib in there preparing for the arrival of baby Adalyn soon, so he was keeping both of us up. So I sit here just watching him play for a few minutes, lay on the floor, then play more, and repeat. It's going to be a very long day with two other little ones to manage and the new night owl we have.

Filmfanatic82

I'm probably going to be hated, but Charley actually has been sleeping through the night since 12 weeks old. On a usual night, she goes down at 7 - 7pm and doesn't get up until 6:30am. Every so often she'll get up at 2am but it only happens maybe once or twice in a week. 

Naps, though, are another story. She used to be such a good napper, but over the last two weeks has decided to give them up entirely.  If I'm lucky, she'll take an hour long one in late morning and then the rest of the day is a crap shoot. I've tried more of a set schedule and even changing our nap routine but nothing seems to work at the moment. So for now we are just riding out the afternoon meltdowns and hoping things change.

Developmental wise, Charley has just started rolling over and sitting up which has opened up a whole new world to her. It's been so awesome to watch her work on mastering these skills and eye opening in the sense that she isn't quiet a potted plant anymore

QOTD: One of our favorite activities is going to Prospect Park. It's a massive park near where we live that has tons to do and is dog friendly too.