Announcing your pregnancy on Facebook: A fun poll (or maybe a vent)

Melissa0926432

My BIL and SIL announced on facebook they were expecting #3. They didn't bother to call my husband even though he is BIL's only sibling and we talk to and see each other semi regularly. We just found out on facebook like everyone else. So a fun poll - when announcing your pregnancy on facebook did you bother to call your immediate relatives first to let them know before hand?

[Deleted User]

Don't have FB but I'd call or tell in person before FB, what the heck... not cool BIL!

Melissa0926432

at least my BIL and SIL called their parents (and I assume her entire family) before announcing on facebook... but seriously I think we deserved a call.  Or at minimum the facebook message we got when they were pregnant with #2.  Some things are important enough for a phone call...

miss2697

We told family first, but they spilled the secret. Next time, we will just announce on fb.

emmanemm

We told family first and then announced on fb. We would've heard hell from mil if they found out on fb and not from us directly.

Kitten80

We always tell family and close friends in person/phone or at least text. Brother, for sure he should have called.

I really wanted to check "shhh no one knows" . With #3 every time I went to announce, either a share-a-lot-of-mutual-people friend announced hours before, some national tragedy occurred, etc. Then it seemed weird. So if we hadn't seen them/talked to them in 6 months- they found out with the birth info/picture. Surprise!

Sorry your BIL hurt your feelings. Sounds like they aren't very thoughtful.

hollandmama

not cool at all... I didn't announce on FB, I told my relatives and close friends privately then had fun 8 months later posting a pic of my exploding body on FB! It was amazing to see the comments I'll do it again next time, I figured if you don't know I am pregnant if because we don't speak to each other often hence why should you know?

MRads

I never posted anything about being pregnant on FB. I didn't even post anything about having a kid until two weeks after I had him. It just never crossed my mind.

Friends and family need to find out big news via text, in person or a call. At least in my life. I would be hurt if I found out my sisters were pregnant via FB.

joyfultrex

I also never announced on fb till after the baby was born. It was just easier that way. I was paranoid about something bad happening and having to un-tell people. But yes, family should be told with a phone call.

lancomechica

Mom, dad, sister, ILs, close friends and work all knew before an FB announcement was made.

KikiCohen

We told immediate family and our closest friends before announcing on FB.

mrshudson618

We told family an close friends around 12 weeks and let the word spread from there. At 20 weeks we posted a u/s photo(after we told family and close friends that it was a boy) so the few people who hadn't heard found out then.

LauraB1016

We told family and close friends before announcing it on fb. It is completely rude to do things like this.

Melissa0926432

Butternut87 said:

I just found out on instagram that close friends of ours eloped at city hall. I thought I'd at least get a text. Not cool. Any news should be bare minimum texted.

oh yeah that reminds me - we also found out that the same SIL and BIL had gotten married a year before their wedding just a couple months ago - 4 years after they got married.  They had told parents and her sibling.  Seriously I don't understand them - and they live 2 hours away and we see them semi regularly and talk semi regularly so its not like we are estranged...

 

ETA - just in case the wording was unclear - they got married a year before their actual wedding at city hall because BIL was deploying.  Which is totally normal so I don't know why they wouldn't tell us - we found out from FIL last Dec which was 4 years after they had gotten married... the whole thing is just weird

 

 

Melissa0926432

It's good to see I am not completely alone in this.  I mean its her kid she can announce however she wants but I kinda feel like it wouldn't have been too much trouble to give us a call or a text. 

 

We told our families either in person or called them (depending on how far they were).  We also did it around Christmas when we were 10 weeks.  I can't remember when we told facebook but it was at least a month later than that. 

 

Melissa0926432

Silv3rlining said:

I'm assuming same people we were talking about last week...congrats to them I guess...but they definitely have an interesting way about going about things. (Maybe I'm mad for you still about the birthday shenanigans you told me about)

@silv3rlining - yeah same people.... when I read it on FB I thought "well I guess we are official in a fight" (from her perspective)- which is stupid because I just wanted to move on from the birthday thing.  I am really hoping she didn't not tell us because she is mad at me for being upset with her about Anna's birthday.  Because even if we had been in a petty argument if I found out life changing news I would have still called her... or at least had DH call BIL. 

KTZ17

Never announced on FB or posted any photos of myself pregnant (but I hardly post, it wasn't like I was trying to hide it). I called relatives and we sent a couple FB messages to family members we don't really talk to on the phone. I would be offended if I found out my SIL was pregnant via Facebook post.

ashie624

Well we told most family before saying anything on fb. It was right after we got married and when we sent a thank you card to FIL we put a little hint in the card. Fil texted DH and asked what he meant. Haha..but DH wanted to wait to tell most people til I made it to the second trimester....and then he proceeds to go on fb and make a Thanksgiving "I'm thankful for" and include being thankful for his baby.. :-w

queenbone

Like several PPs, we told most of our families that didn't know yet at Christmas either in person or via skype. I posted on fb a month or so after that. 

I'm so old that I'd be offended if I was told via text. One should receive a phone call for this kind of announcement. The exception is if you know someone is struggling with IF, then giving them the info in writing so they can process it alone is preferable.

Melissa0926432

queenbone said:

Like several PPs, we told most of our families that didn't know yet at Christmas either in person or via skype. I posted on fb a month or so after that. 

I'm so old that I'd be offended if I was told via text. One should receive a phone call for this kind of announcement. The exception is if you know someone is struggling with IF, then giving them the info in writing so they can process it alone is preferable.

I'm totally with you on that - I think phone call is the way to go.  I mean I can understand not calling all your aunts and uncles but it's DH's brother

We got a facebook message when they were pregnant with #2 and I was a little offended by that but I think not telling is so much worse

 

And for the record we called them when we were pregnant

 

thanks all for letting me vent!

danigirl7181

I told family at DDs birthday, I wrote " Happy Birthday Big Sister Lily " on her cake. I was almost 8 weeks then, but showing. I announced in FB around 11/12 weeks with a picture of DD holding a sign that said " Only child expires July 2013"

Eta: all my coworkers (who pretty much make up my friends) knew because i was definitely showing and couldn't hide it.

KTZ17

queenbone said:

Like several PPs, we told most of our families that didn't know yet at Christmas either in person or via skype. I posted on fb a month or so after that. 

I'm so old that I'd be offended if I was told via text. One should receive a phone call for this kind of announcement. The exception is if you know someone is struggling with IF, then giving them the info in writing so they can process it alone is preferable.

@queenbone‌ I agree with this. My sister has been struggling with IF and was not accepting phone calls. I waited till second trimester to tell her, but I had to email her. She was coming to stay with my parents for a few days and I didn't want to ambush her, so I emailed her and told her very gently. She then canceled her plans to stay with my parents and didn't speak to me for 5 months, till I was put on hospital bed rest. But anyway, I do think it's best to tell people struggling with IF in writing cause they can take however long they need to process it and there's no pressure to act a certain way.