When will the crying stop??

ddembinska

My son is 4 1/2 months old.  He has always been a pretty needy baby.  Hates to be put down. It's next to impossible to just let him lay under his playmat without him whining. For the last few weeks, he has been screaming bloody murder at bedtime. It sounds like somebody is skinning him alive...that's how loud and high pitched it is. It starts every single night, around 7 or 730, no matter what. He always has a new diaper, happy belly, and clean clothes. Room is a comfortable temperature, and he has his white noise.  Now, even when being rocked, he screams.  Nothing stops it. He eventually gets so exhausted that he falls asleep, but it can take hours sometimes. I always watch for tired cues, and put him down when he shows them. But never fails, he screams comes 7 or 730. I don't know what else to do. My husband and I are at our wits end. There seems to be no end in sight with the crying. As of now, he has been screaming for 35 minutes straight, even with me going in to give the pacifier and talk to him. I'm out of ideas, and slowly losing my mind.

Sscarolynedvx

Maybe hes got a belly ache? When my LO was feeling colicky she couldnt be put down that her belly would hurt and I used to hold her up for a lil while rocking her up and down and it would get better.
GL

*sparky*

It sounds like you are putting him down awake. Is that correct? A lot of babies have a real hard time with that until they are much older. There could be lots of things bothering him - it is so hard to tell, but you really should not leave a baby so little to scream for 35 minutes. Can you try wearing him for a little while, or rocking in a dark quiet room? If he hates being put down it could just be that he wants mommy to be close. I always liked holding and rocking my babies to sleep and loved that they wanted me near. Maybe if you try to change your mindset a little you won't have such a hard time with adjusting to your baby's personality and needs.

I am not trying to be harsh by saying that. I know sometimes in the past I have had for force myself to think "wow, this poor little baby must be having a really hard time right now" instead of thinking "OMG why won't she let me get some sleep." So maybe instead of thinking "why won't my baby let me put him down?" Try thinking "aw my LO really needs me."

Doing this has really helped me.

ddembinska

I didn't let him cry for 35 minutes. I went in multiple times to try and comfort. didn't work.

jessevans10

Don't let these women try and make you feel bad. You need ideas and some support! I have no ideas, other then try and put him to sleep then lay in bed. I have a "high maintenance " child myself. I know they go through a sleep regression or wakeful period around 4 months, that might be it. Have you looked at Wonder Weeks? Sorry I don't have a great answer. But keep trying different things. You are doing great!

yeah.

ddembinska said:

I didn't let him cry for 35 minutes. I went in multiple times to try and comfort. didn't work.

This is still CIO and he's too young. Go in, pick him up, rock him, comfort him and try again. Rinse and repeat as long as it takes. He's a baby. You signed up for this.

delatl

I'm sorry you're going through this and understand because my baby is fussy too. But others are right, this is too young to be left to cry even for more than a few minutes. Most babies this little can't self soothe. Your baby is telling you to hold him. I know it's hard. But he's not ready to put himself to sleep.

*sparky*

ddembinska said:

I didn't let him cry for 35 minutes. I went in multiple times to try and comfort. didn't work.

For many babies this young a simple reinsert paci, pat on the back and walk away will never work to calm them. They want to be held. They like their mommies. If you are not going to do this with a baby that obviously needs it then the simple answer to "when will the crying stop?" Is never.

amt0312

I did CIO with DD when she was about 4.5 months old, but she is not a needy baby and has an extremely happy temperament, so I felt comfortable going ahead with CIO and got my pediatrician's blessing. It saved my sanity, so I will never judge someone who chooses to try it as well. Some babies, however, simply are not good candidates for CIO and it tends to be babies who are like yours that cannot do CIO. 

But that's another story. It does not appear that you are attempting to sleep train here, but rather trying to keep yourself together and not lose it while your LO cries for extended periods of time at night. An ear infection is definitely something that might be going on since you say that he whines when on his play mat and screams at night before bed- he could be very uncomfortable laying flat due to severe ear pain. 

If its not an ear infection, then you need to explore other options. Does your LO have reflux? Colic? Even though colic is more associated with newborns, there are plenty of babies who remain colicky for their entire first year of life. Get a thorough examination by your pediatrician to rule out anything medical.

Ok, so if everything medical has been ruled out, now try some other things. Are you still swaddling? Some babies like to be swaddled for long periods of time. It might not hurt to try again. Get a halo swaddle sack or the summer infant swaddleme wraps as they have velcro and can reaaaally secure a baby. Read up on the 5 S's and employ all five techniques. This worked wonders for me when DD was younger. Wearing LO is also a good option to get them calm. Even though we sleep trained DD, there are still times when I need to pull out the swaddle and wrap her up nice and tight because she's inconsolable. It works like a charm. 

Is your LO sleeping flat or on an incline? It took us until 4.5 months as well to get DD to sleep flat as she much prefer to be tilted up, so we used a Rock n Play from when she was 2 weeks-4.5 months. 

Have you considered using a swing to get him to sleep? Who knows, it might work. Put the swing in his room and see if he will sleep in that. 

Just remember, it WILL get better. Maybe not tomorrow, next week or even next month, but it will get better. Babies don't cry forever, just some need extra time and help adjusting to this big scary world. Hugs to you and good luck  

MommyAtty

DD was a world champ sleeper. We used the Baby Whisperer with her. DS took and takes more work. We had luck with the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques. Swaddle, white noise, shushing. Now we swaddle him, turn on his white noise machine, and his eyes start doing the sweet slow-blink. We don't even need to shush. So just keep at it! You'll hit on the right combination for your little one.

jenn43

MrsMuq said:

amt0312 said:

I did CIO with DD when she was about 4.5 months old, but she is not a needy baby and has an extremely happy temperament, so I felt comfortable going ahead with CIO and got my pediatrician's blessing. It saved my sanity, so I will never judge someone who chooses to try it as well. Some babies, however, simply are not good candidates for CIO and it tends to be babies who are like yours that cannot do CIO. 

But that's another story. It does not appear that you are attempting to sleep train here, but rather trying to keep yourself together and not lose it while your LO cries for extended periods of time at night. An ear infection is definitely something that might be going on since you say that he whines when on his play mat and screams at night before bed- he could be very uncomfortable laying flat due to severe ear pain. 

If its not an ear infection, then you need to explore other options. Does your LO have reflux? Colic? Even though colic is more associated with newborns, there are plenty of babies who remain colicky for their entire first year of life. Get a thorough examination by your pediatrician to rule out anything medical.

Ok, so if everything medical has been ruled out, now try some other things. Are you still swaddling? Some babies like to be swaddled for long periods of time. It might not hurt to try again. Get a halo swaddle sack or the summer infant swaddleme wraps as they have velcro and can reaaaally secure a baby. Read up on the 5 S's and employ all five techniques. This worked wonders for me when DD was younger. Wearing LO is also a good option to get them calm. Even though we sleep trained DD, there are still times when I need to pull out the swaddle and wrap her up nice and tight because she's inconsolable. It works like a charm. 

Is your LO sleeping flat or on an incline? It took us until 4.5 months as well to get DD to sleep flat as she much prefer to be tilted up, so we used a Rock n Play from when she was 2 weeks-4.5 months. 

Have you considered using a swing to get him to sleep? Who knows, it might work. Put the swing in his room and see if he will sleep in that. 

Just remember, it WILL get better. Maybe not tomorrow, next week or even next month, but it will get better. Babies don't cry forever, just some need extra time and help adjusting to this big scary world. Hugs to you and good luck  

The AAP agrees that CIO is not appropriate for ANY baby under 6mo. I'm totally judging you for letting your 4.5mo just cry, pedi's blessing or not.

OP, you might want to read the book "no-cry sleep solution." MH and I found it very helpful.

If you're more gung-ho towards CIO, try Ferber.

Where did you find this?  I haven't been able to find any actual position statement on the AAP website.

Also, I have difficulty believing that a generalized position statement (if it even exists) should dictate a child's care over the judgement of the child's mother and pediatrician.  

mcgeeva

I would just like to add..maybe your little one is over stimulated and over tired. My first had the "witching" hour every night around 7-7:30 was meltdown time. Some nights he cried and cried no matter how much we rocked etc. But it eventually passed. Hang in there. Try different things. We use to always go for a walk around that time. The fresh air usually mellowed out our lo some. If the baby is having gas issues you can usually feel their tummy in a ball. IF that is the case you could try gas drops, do leg excercises with your lo etc to get the gas bubbles out. 

jfletcher3113

My pediatrician said CIO doesn't work for a baby under six months. If they are crying, it's because they need something or there is a problem. So, in my opinion (and the advice of my pedi) you should pick him up and try to soothe him. Just keep trying!

Could it be his stomach? My LO would scream like crazy and my friend suggested Gripe Water. That stuff was a miracle. I now recognize his gassy cries and give him that. It works almost instantaneously. 

I know it's hard with a screaming baby, but try …  REALLY try to stay calm and not get frustrated. Babies pick up when mom and dad are getting upset and it can make them scream more. I like PP's advice of trying to change your attitude about it, too. Maybe a change of perspective can help you approach the situation differently.  

Other things that worked for me when LO was screaming bloody murder that wasn't gas-related (the 5 S's didn't really work for us):

Rocking him in a dark room 

Walking him outside around our neighborhood

Putting his cheek on mine and speaking in a soothing voice 

Hang in there!