awkward registry feeling....

creativesoul83

Ok ladies, I am a ftm and dh and I went to bru to register. I felt so awkward!! I didn't when we did it for our wedding. I guess because your starting out and people are helping you get on your feet so to speak.

I feel that we are married (had wedding shower) and this isour baby and first for us both, I am over 30 and should do it in our own. We made the choice to have this sweet lo so I don't want to seem gift grabbie by making a registry.

With each pregnancy we have began collecting baby items and needs so not to have a lot of expenses since no paid maternity leave. We had three losses over past year and half. So we have collected quite a bit. I find deals and purchasethings.

We have all of our big purchase needs the only thing big left is s monitor only because debating the right one. I am not trying to brag far from rich just frugal.

So my question is do any of you awesome ladies feel weird about having a registry? like you're literally picking out what you would like.

**I am extremely aware must don't even look at the registry** my real reason for it is the percentage of and the deals they give you. we intend to buy stuff ourselves of it for money back and deals.

MalachiteDrake

At first I only had a real bare-bones registry, mostly as a way to keep track of the specific brands/items I'd picked out. My friend that is throwing my shower suggested that I add in smaller things for people that do want to buy off the registry. We're not putting the registry on the shower invitations, since I'd really love hand-me-downs, but she pointed out that for those that want a quick look at things I like, the registry was a nice convenience. 

creativesoul83

We put alot of small items on there under $10. I normally buy a collection of small things for others. We are not putting it on or in invites for shower.

most of the family and friends know we are pretty set. Also they knew we have bought second hand items so we are open to that. mainly put things for feeding and diapers small toys etc.

@CatLady22‌ I am with you. I have one registry online me and my mom purchase from just for cash back deals. not telling anyone about that one. :-)

NunyaBennis

I do feel weird about it, but ooohhhh well. I feel weird about having a shower, too, and have always had trouble accepting gifts. Hell, I even felt weird accepting pay checks from my first three summer jobs! I'm a doofus.
But as mentioned, I'm not blatantly sharing it and plan to use it more as my personal shopping list for the discount. I'm getting a LOT of hand me downs (yaaaaaay!) so there's a wide assortment of things on it, both needs (mattress, sheets) and wants (sound machine, humidifier). The weirdest part for me is having the crib on it. We were given some money already to put toward it, and it seems awkward to have it listed with the price but it would be ridiculous not to take advantage of the discount. I dunno :-/ maybe I'll wait until after the shower to order it...
Shew, sorry, started a tangent thought.

Lilwatz

We put everything we eventually will buy for our little one.  We had plenty of small ticket items for those who don't want to spend a lot but put the big ones on there too.  Had my shower today and I was surprised at how many of the big ones were purchased.  A lot of times people went in together, other times people were just that generous.  You aren't telling people they HAVE to buy those things, you are providing a list of needs and letting people contribute where they feel they want to.  I, personally, don't see it as gift grabby.

TeeJ526

I totally get it. I felt odd putting together a registry as well. We had a wedding registry and we ended up buying most of the items ourselves. I eventually did put together a baby registry, but decided to put everything on there, both big ticket and less expensive items. Once I was done, I actually purchased a majority of the big ticket items right away so that family and friends don't feel obligated and I don't feel awkward. Quite honestly, DH and I are using the registry as kind of a organization list of things to buy rather than what we expect people to get for us.

Love4Science

I felt weird setting up a registry since I didn't really want a shower, but my best friends said they were throwing me a shower regardless.  They said people will be exited about this because many of our friends now know we tried for over to 2 years to get a BFP and will want to celebrate with us.

I would imagine if you've had 3 MC in 18mo, people will want to celebrate with you too, since this baby is extra special.  Heck, I want to celebrate with you.  So put some stuff on a registry (we really like BabyList) and don't worry too much about it.  People expect a registry with a baby!

FWIW, DH and I are both over 30, both very gainfully employed, and could pay for this ourselves, but if people want to buy us things, I am very grateful for that too!

mander82

People keep asking me if I made my registry yet. They want it and they want it now. Lol.....I hate asking for stuff, but knowing these things are for baby and not so much for me is helpful. When I go to baby showers I love printing their registry and shopping for baby. It's like going on a scavenger hunt in the baby section. If people didn't make registries, it would make shopping for them impossible. They would get a ton of the same stuff. People love buying baby stuff. At least in my family they do.

hiketheworld

I made two registries- one at amazon and one at a store. I mostly added little things but also some of the big things so that I would remember what I wanted. I've actually bought many of the big things myself at this point- furniture, swing, some clothes, mattress and sheets. So I'm using it as a shopping list. The grandmas have also purchased from it.

I love registries, particularly for weddings, because I like giving an actual gift rather than money and would prefer to give something they truly want and will use. For babies, I usually pick an item from the registry but then give a book and some clothes of my choice.

I don't think it's gift grabby at all. It's just useful!!

crystalsdontcry

I'm a FTM, and at first I only wanted to put smaller items on our registry so people didn't think we were being greedy, but over time I've added bigger items too. Like many have mentioned, we started adding the things we planned to buy ourselves simply for the discount/bonuses you get from using the registry. And if someone is feeling generous, they will see our big-ticket items too.

MrsTuna08

mander82 said:

People keep asking me if I made my registry yet. They want it and they want it now. Lol.....I hate asking for stuff, but knowing these things are for baby and not so much for me is helpful. When I go to baby showers I love printing their registry and shopping for baby. It's like going on a scavenger hunt in the baby section. If people didn't make registries, it would make shopping for them impossible. They would get a ton of the same stuff. People love buying baby stuff. At least in my family they do.

**stuck in the box**

This is exactly what happened to me.  My shower isn't until early October, but people are already asking for it.

babysis013

Whenever I'm invited to a baby shower I WANT to look at the registry.  I want to purchase something that the parents have picked out that they would like.  I also like that most of my family has Amazon wishlists for birthdays and Christmas.  I'm a horrible gift buyer and would rather get something someone wants than something I think they want and they pretend they like.  I will sometimes purchase off registry, but as a supplement to the on registry things I've purchased.  My cousin had a shower a couple months ago for her twins and she decided not to register, that  made my shopping so difficult!!!

Love4Science

zengal said:

the girl said I'd be entered into a drawing when I scanned 120 items

This is where registries get awkward, when moms put on so many things and you're like: "Huh? What are you going to use that for?"  Or when they put too many big and semi-redundant things on (the rock n' play, the swing, the bouncer, the exersaucer, AND the jumper).  

But I think a well-curated registry with a a few big-ticket items (pack n' play, stroller, car seat, base), a hand-full of mid-priced items ($50 or so, maybe the diaper bag, monitor, humidifier), and a bunch of smaller stuff (changing pad, boppy pillow, bottles, pacifiers, diapers, car seat cover, sleep sacks, etc) is welcome by many people.

KMW08

In the past I looked at others registries to see if there was a theme - esp if I was buying bedding or accessories.

Really I'm going to do a couple for the completion discount. I'm leaning with target/walmart and amazon. I do have family that would purchase bigger ticket items. There isn't a babies r us or buy buy baby close to me and I don't think most of my family does online shopping.

carafern

I agree with OP that I felt awkward sharing the registry. I made it for myself. It was pretty fun at first to research and choose things for the baby. 

Just last week my SIL asked me for it and all of a sudden I felt awkward. Is it too gift grabby? I even took the stroller off, before I gave her the link to the private babylist registry. I'm not sure I'm having a shower, I think my sisters might be throwing me a surprise one (DH heard some of the gossip) so I didn't really expect to share it. SIL gave me advice to add more big ticket items and not buy anything because people will buy us stuff. I'm like who are these people? I don't think I have enough gift-giving friends and family to buy our registry…and I'm not sure I would want them too… This is a long winded way of saying, I empathize and glad I"m not the only one!

absolutelymaybe

babysis013 said:

Whenever I'm invited to a baby shower I WANT to look at the registry.  I want to purchase something that the parents have picked out that they would like.  I also like that most of my family has Amazon wishlists for birthdays and Christmas.  I'm a horrible gift buyer and would rather get something someone wants than something I think they want and they pretend they like.  I will sometimes purchase off registry, but as a supplement to the on registry things I've purchased.  My cousin had a shower a couple months ago for her twins and she decided not to register, that  made my shopping so difficult!!!

This exactly!

Maelara

Love4Science said:

zengal said:

the girl said I'd be entered into a drawing when I scanned 120 items

This is where registries get awkward, when moms put on so many things and you're like: "Huh? What are you going to use that for?"  Or when they put too many big and semi-redundant things on (the rock n' play, the swing, the bouncer, the exersaucer, AND the jumper).  

But I think a well-curated registry with a a few big-ticket items (pack n' play, stroller, car seat, base), a hand-full of mid-priced items ($50 or so, maybe the diaper bag, monitor, humidifier), and a bunch of smaller stuff (changing pad, boppy pillow, bottles, pacifiers, diapers, car seat cover, sleep sacks, etc) is welcome by many people.

Actually, I used all those 'redundant' things with my daughter. I bought most of them myself but when it comes to my sanity and being able to eat a hot meal (for once), I'll get all the redundant stuff over and over and over.

mightymo85

Personally, I felt more awkward with a wedding registry. If people think your registry items are too expensive/odd, they know which store to buy a gift card from, within their budget. Call me a narcissist but I have no problem registering and letting people buy me and my baby gifts. I'll just buy whatever is leftover, no big deal!

Maelara

WildFlower810 said:

carafern said:

I agree with OP that I felt awkward sharing the registry. I made it for myself. It was pretty fun at first to research and choose things for the baby. 

Just last week my SIL asked me for it and all of a sudden I felt awkward. Is it too gift grabby? I even took the stroller off, before I gave her the link to the private babylist registry. I'm not sure I'm having a shower, I think my sisters might be throwing me a surprise one (DH heard some of the gossip) so I didn't really expect to share it. SIL gave me advice to add more big ticket items and not buy anything because people will buy us stuff. I'm like who are these people? I don't think I have enough gift-giving friends and family to buy our registry…and I'm not sure I would want them too… This is a long winded way of saying, I empathize and glad I"m not the only one!

I'm finding out that people love baby things, no matter the time of year or their relationship to the person expecting. Today I got a gift from a gal at church who I've talked to maybe 3 times this past year. She certainly wasn't on my shower invite list, but word about my shower yesterday had apparently spread. She gave me a handmade quilt!! I'm a bit speechless, but I'm going to have to come up with something eloquent for a thank-you note. 

If your SIL is *asking* for your registry, you're not being gift grabby. If you had your registry info printed on business cards and passed them out to everyone you knew... *that* would be grabby.

Bahahaha! Yes, a registry on a business card you hand out is gift grabby! But if people are asking for one, it's not gift grabby at all I've made two gift registries but they are for myself to remember the things I want. I'm not planning on letting anyone know they are there unless they ask.

jj0313

I don't feel awkward about it all-which says something becuase I typically have a pretty easy time being awkward. The wedding registry felt awkward. But the baby registry? This is where I actually NEED help if people are kind enough to offer it. Doesn't hurt that I've been to a million baby showers and have never bat an eye or heArd another guest bat an eye at a registry. We are buying the crib, stroller and probably glider on our own-everything else is on the registry and it would be awesome if even a small percent got bought.