Small TTC and other people VENT!

thirtyninetoforty

I'll make this short but I just needed to say it so I can let it go...I've posted before that there are only three people that know I'm TTC - my sister and two friends.  None of them know everything and I keep things very low key.  I have not told any of them about this last IUI and I haven't even told them where I was in my cycle and I will not.  I was just told by my own sister, "oh, you can always adopt or foster...."  I know this and I applaud anyone who does this but for me, I want to carry and give birth to a child.  I'm only doing IUI, I still have IVF and there are donor eggs if my eggs are the issue so I am a ways from giving up.

Anyway, it just pisses me off that people who already have their family and feel "complete" dictate how you should feel about your IF!   

Sigh....I feel relieved...thank you for reading

kindershlitz

Sorry- that really is annoying and well worth a vent!

It is very weird but yet seems common that people say stuff like that.  What gives?

tlc35

I don't understand why people feel like they want to comment on these things. Maybe they think they are being supportive. It is really annoying.

hooligans4

People just don't think before they speak.
@thirtyninetoforty you keep on the path you are on and you will be able to carry a child of your own. You are awesome!!!!!!

MelissaMiso

I think people are usually well intentioned but when they haven't walked a mile in your ute, they have no idea how it feels.

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lgsdesigner

People really need to learn to mind their own damn business. Especially when it comes to TTC. I hope you get your BFP soon so she can learn to shut her mouth!

thirtyninetoforty

Thanks, ladies! 

I do know that they think by making other suggestions about kids they are making me feel better but it's like anything else in life - unless you experienced it, just shut up already!  I'm really thinking that I am going to tell all three of them that I am giving it a break for a while so I don't have the questions or the comments.

@JimBobCooter...I'm curious if she ever gave you an answer? 

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Davie813

Ugh, I'm sorry. I do think pps are right--people think they're helping and can't possibly know what you're going through until/unless they experience it.

When I was in my twenties and ages away from wanting a baby, let alone having a clue about IF or the adoption process. I remember having similar views about adoption, kids in need of good homes, and (as I saw it) the absolute arrogance of insisting on passing on your own genes. I also remember sharing this with my sister, as well as her reply: "yeah. You know adopting a baby isn't like adopting a pet, right? You don't just go down to the baby pound and pick one out."

And, all these years later, I just finished my first iui with all the intentions to go on to IVF if indicated.

So yeah, they don't mean anything bad--they just have no idea. But I think your plan of announcing a break us a good one. Hugs.

thirtyninetoforty

Davie813 said:

I also remember sharing this with my sister, as well as her reply: "yeah. You know adopting a baby isn't like adopting a pet, right? You don't just go down to the baby pound and pick one out."

LOL - I wish it were that easy!  I am already planning on IVF...thanks!!

HeathernSteven

Davie813 said:

 "yeah. You know adopting a baby isn't like adopting a pet, right? You don't just go down to the baby pound and pick one out."  

I wish it were that simple!!! My DH mentioned adoption recently but since its so expensive we won't be going that route, and as awful as it sounds I would want a baby or extremely young child, even though it wouldn't be genes passed on, I want my life and values passed on. 

Good Luck to you! Keep going your path!

Austrogermokee

I can never understand people who say "just adopt" or "just foster." First off, no, you can't go down to the Baby Store and just pick out a child. Second, even if you factor in infertility treatment and extra time to conceive, it's usually less expensive and quicker to go the birthin' route.