Hello ladies. It has been a few months since I have posted. My most recent loss: on Dec. 23 we had our NT scan which came back abnormal. Jan, we had an amnio which confirmed our baby had Downs Syndrome. January another scan revealed a brain defect...that may or may not have "healed itself". It was the hardest decision we have ever made but we chose to terminate the pg. For the last couple months, I thought I was at peace with it. Until now. A friend of mine was due 1 week after me and she just had her baby. My brain keeps spinning with "Does God foegive me or understand" "did I make the right decision". I am feeling very heart broken. I feel like I have been tortured with of (19 pregnancies but 3 live children). I am just having a hard time now. I have not talked to my husband about this recently but I think I will.