Lurker, honest question

drunkindonuts

Hi there,
I've been lurking for a bit and have a question. Now is as good of a time as any to tell you all a bit about myself and where we want to be:)

My husband and I have one little girl, Caroline, who just turned 2! I always saw myself in the 2.5 kiddo american dream scenario. I had HELLP syndrome pretty severely with my daughter and ended up with an emergency c/s and a 3 week NICU stay for her. Because of this my husband is reluctant for me to conceive another child (we also had a loss before Caroline). I get that he's genuinely concerned about my health and well-being, but I'm heartbroken. I want to be a mommy again. I'm 110% on board with adopting and so is he. I actually always wanted to adopt a child, but...

My question, and please forgive me if this sounds rude, but how the heck does anyone afford it? We were thinking of international adoption, but realistically I have no idea where we'd obtain that much money? we already live on a pretty tight budget as is (I'm a part the nurse and DH is a computer forensic analyst). Am I missing something?

alishakay

You can look into different agencies, the cost varies. It may not be as expensive as your first think once you start looking. I know a lot of people raise money to help with adoption costs, fundraiser type stuff. There are tax credits as well, federal and state, and some employers even reimburse. If you're serious, start doing some research, don't let the cost hold you back until you have all the facts:)

Dr.Loretta

Ditto the pp, there are a lot of ways to do it, you just have to do what works for you. There's taking on a second job, starting an Etsy or other type of store, holding fundraisers, taking out a loan or HELOC, getting loans/gifts from family, the sky is the limit. Best bet is to research what the costs are going to look like and set a goal to get there.

GL and post often!

justjinny

Have you considered looking into foster to adopt through your state?  Many times this is a much less expensive option than DIA or IA. 

We did DIA and spent much of what we had been saving up for a remodel on our house which will now be put off for a few more years.  We also took out a home equity line of credit as a "just in case fall back", but ended up not needing it since we continued saving during our wait to adopt.  If you consider the other large expenses in life (cars, college, etc.) finding the money to start or add to your family through adoption is doable, it just takes some work!

maryoosa

Our agency had a sliding scale and we took loans out against our retirement savings. It was the only way we were going to be able to afford it.

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drunkindonuts

Thanks for all the great input ladies! Sorry I've been MIA, I work twelves and I'm wiped after work. I'll definitely start doing a bit more research and try contacting some agencies. I had no idea there was such thing as sliding scale. I hope all the hard work you ladies are putting into this pays off soon!! Sounds like you also deserve it! I never realized how challenging the adoption process is emotionally, mentally and financially..