not sure how to address this situation w/ a meeting...

groovygrl

So I met someone at an external meeting who told me she wanted to go into the field I work in (she is about a year out of a bachelor's degree, I am probably about 15 yrs older than her). We chatted for a bit about programs she could do, and how I had gotten into it, etc before the meeting & I told her if she ever wanted to have lunch & talk about different options, I'd be happy to talk to her. She said she would definitely like that.  I spoke with her on the phone the other day about a follow up thing & told her to let me know if she'd still like to have lunch regardless of what happens w/t he work stuff. She said she would actually like to do that soon b/c she is considering some different options So I asked what day might work & then where we should meet...we work not far from each other but not walking distance, and both work in places where there is no free parking available. My thought was we would both drive somewhere that had parking for lunch, as I was not going to ask her to come to me b/c of the parking situation. Instead she suggests a number of places right by her office. I was kind of surprised- basically she wanted me to come to her, find street or garage parking, pay to park, etc while she walks to meet me so that she wouldn't have to leave & get her car & drive elsewhere. I didn't really know what to say, as I can suck up a couple bucks for a parking meter but it just seemed really odd to me. I told her I would try and think of somewhere close by where we could both park for free and she said ok... but seemed almost like annoyed that she might have to drive somewhere.

Am I being weird here, and if not, any tips on how to approach this? It reminds me a bit of the time I had someone ask me to write reference letters for graduate school and then she applied to 12 schools and wanted me to write the letter, print it, get my own envelopes and address, stamp & mail them...but I was close enough to that person that I explained that when you ask someone to do something like that for so many places, you typically provide those things (of course this predates online applications )... I was more worried she was asking a number of ppl to do the same thing & wanted to give her the heads up about it. This person I don't know very well & don't want to be too rigid but also kind of want her to realize that you shouldn't really ask someone to help you w/ career and education advice and then expect them to come to you to do it....

Thoughts?

ricekez

I think you are right. Many young people in college or just out of college haven't learned these considerations and I don't know why. I've been surprised many times at the way I've been treated by interns (rudely, like I'm not one of the people who might be interviewing them for a full-time job). I would continue with your suggestion to go somewhere with parking. If she doesn't want to drive, she doesn't have to meet with you.

banks81

I think your potential mistake was asking her initially where she wanted to go. If you had a preference, you should have specified. I do agree that she should come to you or meet in-between, but who knows what was going through her mind when she suggested to meet near her. Stick with your plan to come up with a place that is in between and hopefully she agrees.

groovygrl

The problem is that there is nowhere in between...she will have to drive somewhere maybe 10 min and I got the impression she didn't want to do that. I didn't actually ask where she wanted to go, it was an unexpected call so I didn't have any time to think of a place, I said something like, hmm where should we go? I guess I would not think that meant where do you want to go that is near you but who knows. Unfortunately the only place within a short drive with free parking that would not be a more expensive type of restaurant that I can think of would be a grocery store that has an eat in area... Lol. I wouldn't mind bc I could prob pick a few things up,while I am there but seems a bit odd to suggest a grocery store

bumpuser10331514

I'm a moderately-reformed flaky 20-something who probably would not have been aware of the parking situation at your office (or just not thinking about it). Just contact her again and spell it out. Say, "There's no convenient parking at my place or yours. I was thinking one of us could pick the other up to go someplace with free parking, or you could just meet me there. But I don't really want to try and find parking by your place." Then see where it takes you...

groovygrl

Thanks all! I agree that it is prob a boss watching the clock situation. I like the pick up idea!