Moms of young schoolagers - Bedtime?

jellybean529

If you have a child around the age of 6, what time is bedtime? 

I'm a single, working mom. I usually get home from work, after picking up DD from after school care/summer camp, around 6pm. I usually start her bedtime routine around 8:15 and it's a struggle to get her to settle down for the night. She's usually asleep by 10:30 which I feel is too late but IDK what else to do...I need time to cook, we need to eat, and then she needs time to bathe and get ready for bed. 

Spin313

DS is six, DD is three. During the school year, they are in bed around 7:15/7:30pm. In the summer, it's been 8pm.

Why is bedtime/settling down taking more than two hours...? If the routine starts at 8:15p, a quick bath/shower, teeth, PJs, and story could be wrapped up by 9pm.

junebugrbig

DS is 6 and DD is 2-1/2...both are in bed by 8:30 at the latest year round.  DS goes to an all day camp during the summer.  He is pretty worn out by the end of the day so getting him to go to bed is never a problem...he falls asleep pretty fast.

jellybean529

Spin313 said:

DS is six, DD is three. During the school year, they are in bed around 7:15/7:30pm. In the summer, it's been 8pm. Why is bedtime/settling down taking more than two hours...? If the routine starts at 8:15p, a quick bath/shower, teeth, PJs, and story could be wrapped up by 9pm.

You're right -- it should be. There's some confounding factors here...we currently live with my sister (I'm going through a divorce) and my niece (same age) and daughter share a bedroom so there's a lot of conflicting schedules and "stop talking to each other" "stop making noise" going on. We're moving out in January so that will be resolved then. There's also the whole divorce thing that's hard on my daughter...her dad moved out of state and she's still struggling with that transition. We're doing counseling to get through those issues but she has a hard time going to sleep unless I'm there with her.

This is probably what's making bedtime so difficult in the first place and is a whole other issue :-P

CareBear0607

DD is 6 and was in Kindergarten last year.  During the school year, lights were out at 8:00 and she would have to be up at 7:00 for school.  (Some days she would wake on her own, others I would have to wake her).  This school year I am planning on an 8:30 lights out because she won't have to be up until 7:30 for school (going to a new school). 

During the summer she has been staying up until 9:30 or so. 

skategirl128

DS is six and was in kindergarten last year. Bedtime for him is 8 on school nights and 9 on weekends. Summer time has been 830. He has to get up by 715 since he goes to before care (SO and I both work).

Court0026

We start getting ready at 7 and he is tucked in by 8.  Sometimes he is still awake and reading at 9, but he mostly falls asleep a few minutes later.

neverblushed

Bedtime in my house has always been 8 pm. My kids are allowed to read after we say goodnight, but my son usually turns his light off between 8:30 and 9.  I've got to tell you, I think your instincts are right about 10:30 being too late. 

I understand not being able to get the bedtime routine started until about 8:30, if you get home at 6.  What I don't understand is why it's taking over 2 hours for her to fall asleep.  If you reply back with some hints about that, we may be able to give you some specific advice for how you can speed things along.  

Spin313

jellybean529 said:

Spin313 said:

DS is six, DD is three. During the school year, they are in bed around 7:15/7:30pm. In the summer, it's been 8pm.

Why is bedtime/settling down taking more than two hours...? If the routine starts at 8:15p, a quick bath/shower, teeth, PJs, and story could be wrapped up by 9pm.

You're right -- it should be. There's some confounding factors here...we currently live with my sister (I'm going through a divorce) and my niece (same age) and daughter share a bedroom so there's a lot of conflicting schedules and "stop talking to each other" "stop making noise" going on. We're moving out in January so that will be resolved then. There's also the whole divorce thing that's hard on my daughter...her dad moved out of state and she's still struggling with that transition. We're doing counseling to get through those issues but she has a hard time going to sleep unless I'm there with her.

This is probably what's making bedtime so difficult in the first place and is a whole other issue :-P

---------------------------------------

It sounds like this is a living situation issue, more so than a bedtime issue. Can your DD sleep with you in your room instead of with niece...?

neverblushed

OP, given your update about your living situation, I can understand why bedtime is difficult.  Establishing a really consistent routine will help with all the changes you guys are going through right now.

I would consider the following options, depending on your relationship with your sister, and how well you think these things would go over:

--talk to your sister about the need for the two of you to cooperate to establish a firmer bedtime routine for both girls, especially given the fact that your DD will be starting K very soon.  Put both girls through the bedtime routine at the same time, much as you would siblings, and enforce the routine strictly, cooperating with each other.

--if you have your own room at your sister's house, consider putting your DD's mattress on the floor in your room, so that you can better control her bedtime routine and so that she and her cousin don't keep each other up.  Then your sister is free to handle your niece as she wants.

--Work it out with your sister that the girls have totally different bedtimes and the one with the later bedtime doesn't go into the room until the other is asleep.  Get each girl a small lamp for her side of the room.

Sigh... you're in a difficult situation and you're somewhat at your sister's mercy.   I hope things work out.  When my son was in grades K and 1, he would be thoroughly worn out by the end of the week, especially in the start of the year -- and that was with an 8 pm bedtime.  Just be on the lookout for this in the first 2 months of school.

Skadii

My girls are 3, 4 and 7 and they are all in bed at 7pm and the lights are off by 7:30. Saying that, they get up at 6:30am, sometimes earlier. Depending on what time your daughter gets up at, I'd say anything until 8:30pm is okay for a bedtime. I also get that its hard to get her to sleep when there are two of them sleeping in the same room. My younger two share a room, and for a long time they were a nightmare to actually get them to sleep. I think if you can move your daughter into your room without waking her when you go to bed, do that, or maybe just discuss stricter bed times with your sister for both girls.

azaretsky

My DS goes to bed between 7:30 and 8 and he's asleep 30 minutes later. 

When your DD falls asleep at 10:30 - what time does she wake up? To PP's question - what happens between 8:15 and 10:30? This could be a signal that she is over tired and needs to get to bed earlier perhaps.

macchiatto

My boys will be 6 in January. Bedtime was 9 p.m. during the school year last year (pre-K didn't start until 9 a.m. so they were up at 7:45). Over the summer it's been 9-9:30. We are working on moving it earlier though. During the school year our plan is 8 p.m. bedtime, up at 7, at school by 7:50. We'll tweak that as we see how it works out. 

KL777

DS is six.  His bedtime is 7:30 pm