WWCDBD discpline, time outs, and toddler tantrums

flummadiddle85

So DS must be hitting the terrible twos early. He throws tantrums, and I mean TANTRUMS. And they will probably only get worse. But he will flail on the ground, SCREAM, throw things, bang his head, everything. He's only 16mo. Today at the store when I took him out of the kid's play area (yes, I know, germ ridden area...), he threw an absolute fit. He even went so much as to push another kid (must've been around 3). 

The pedi said to start short times outs. DH tried to hold DS in a time out one time on his lap, and only resulted in DS getting more worked up, and continuing to scream. Up to this point I've mostly just tried to tell him "No", distract him, or the like. He's also still pretty non-verbal. He has a few words, but not a whole lot yet. He can follow simple commands, but I'm not always sure how much he understands. 

So, what do you do, plan to do, or have done with your LOs at this age? Or does my kid really just have that much of a temper already. My MIL said he had a temper when he was 2mo old. I guess she was right. 

stoneycakes

16 mo was a really hard age for us until about 20-21 months.  He wanted to do things, but couldn't express himself verbally.  I found distraction worked quite well.  The carseat was a huge struggle at that age.  He would flail and bend his body so I couldn't buckle him in. After a few months of daily meltdowns, I finally started offering him crackers whenever he got into the carseat and now he's totally fine with it.  If you don't feel comfortable with food in the car, I've also used special toys or handed him something I happened to have with me that I thought he might be interested in.  He cooperates almost every time in the carseat now unless he's super tired.

I also found that a lot of time he melted down, it was other factors like being hungry or tired.  Sometimes just picking him up and giving him a hug and understanding words would calm him down.

It has honestly gotten so much easier since he's turned two.  Now that he's so verbal, he can express what he wants and he understands me much better when I tell him to wait a minute, etc.  I have even started counting 3,2,1 when I'm waiting for him to do something and 80% of the time he will cooperate once I hit 1.

ETA: I have never tried time outs and I definitely don't think it would have worked at 16 months for my DS.  I'm sure everyone's different, but I didn't feel he could understand consequences very well at that age.  Which I think was part of the reason for his meltdowns in the first place.

TJ1979

I think stringy really nailed everything I was going to say.

We started "breaks" around 18-20 months. Not necessarily time out, but when E started losing her shit, she had to go sit down in the kitchen, take a break, and think about what happened. She had to stay there until she calmed down. Then we did super nanny style, you had to take a break because you were screaming/hitting/throwing things. Say I'm sorry, love you, hugs and kisses.

She has actually been known to put herself on a break recently (23 months.)

Like Stoney said, I found 16 months to be a really difficult age. Just remember it's a phase.

flummadiddle85

Thanks all. I do try to talk to him, give him warning, distract, stay ahead of him, but we still end up with a number of tantrums in a day. It's just frustrating I guess, and I was starting to second guess my lack of time outs I suppose. But really, I questioned the pedi on that too, and if they would really do any good at this age. 

bumpuser5078523

I think we are headed into that fun stage. He throws fits right now, but they could be a lot worse. I found that if I ignore his tantrum, he quits.

We are still working on obeying. He knows what no means, but will do it anyway, and then throw a fit when he gets moved away or the object taken away. I tried time out, and it doesn't work. He just throws a bigger fit. I don't think he is old enough for that yet. I don't know what to do.

I'm hoping he doesn't get worse, since baby boy is due in two months. Eek!