Need opinions WDPT- long

acesup

Back story: I've been a hobbyist photographer about 4 years. A year ago I started a business doing family, children, maternity and newborn photography. At the time I was beyond miserable at my full time job and felt trapped. I cried everyday over how much I hated it there. The business gave me something to love and I was laying the groundwork for a 5 yr plan to leave my FT job and run the business FT. It was going well.

In April an opportunity fell into my lap. I was able to leave my hateful job and start a new one. I'm in the same field and now I actually get to work from home and make more money. Learning the new job and because the program is new has been stressful. Though I work from home I do field work and home visits and I have to put in a lot of hours (which should slow down once the program gets going). BUT I love the job. I love the company. And of course I love the money.

I never wanted to do photography part time. I wanted to do it full time but couldn't afford to leave my job so doing it PT was going to be hopefully temporary. Now I don't want to leave this job or the money. Doing it PT on top of the new job has been way too much. I was overwhelmed and felt like I was neglecting my family. I could only do shoots on Saturday which also is the only day my hubby and I are off together. Add in time editing and doing consults and it was all too much. I found myself dreading sessions and wanting to turn them down. I stopped shooting personal projects. So after much thought and talks with my hubby I decided to close the business. I haven't announced yet bc I do have sessions through the summer.

The last few days I have been having second thoughts. I had a really good session over the weekend and got really great feedback from the family and all of their friends. Then I got several inquiries for new clients who said how much they love my work. My mom also gave me a hard time about closing and said she thinks I'm crazy not to do it and I am so talented.

I love it and wish I could do it FT. But I can't make even close to what I make now and there is no way we could afford everything without my income. My husband would have to work insane overtime if I stopped working, we would literally never see him which isn't fair to him or the kids. Plus we want to move to a better neighborhood and school district in the next two years and need to save money for a down payment. So doing photography full time is not an option.

I just don't know what to do. I am so torn. I'm starting to feel like I'm really going to miss it but at the same time I will have more time with my family and can shoot personal projects whenever I want. Plus I kind of figure when the kids are a bit older I can always start up again. But then again they will have sports and activities. That was another thing- DD is starting dance on Saturdays in the fall and just started gymnastics one night a week.

TL;DR- can't decide if I should keep my side business or throw in the towel because I'm overwhelmed and my goals and FT job have changed.

Sorry this was so long! I think I just need to talk it out with people who I don't know and who can be unbiased

I will give booze to anyone who read all that!

aglenn

I would scale back the side business by taking on fewer projects for a while but stay in the game, keeping the door open to expand later as circumstances change.  You may hit a point in a few years where FT photography makes sense, and if you've stayed active in the market you'll have a huge advantage in making that happen.

acesup

sassypantzz said:

I am here to collect my drink  

 I don't know if this is feasible for you but, could you do some intensive (free or inexpensive) marketing and then more or less "pretend" to be busy through mid August... stay with me... this would allow you to book as much as possible to kinda of supplement your bank account to be able to quit your job?  <--- I don't even know if that make sense.  I believe in family first you second.  You HAVE to keep your family fed and sheltered and not at the sacrifice of your hubby, but if you can overwhelm yourself out of the gate with clients and new referrals, you could really attain your dream.

I see where you're going but I think it would honestly take a looooong time to save enough to be able to quit. It's kind of scary to think about not having the income I have. I think even if I had an amazing first year of FT photography it wouldn't even be half of what I make. We're also trying to build our saving back up from a rough year (extended unpaid maternity leave, hubby on medical leave for surgery, then I was suspended from previous hateful job without pay). So we are kind of paying off small debt and building savings back up, trying to save a downpayment to move, etc. I don't think I could leave this job for at least 5 years (kids out of daycare and into school- major savings).

jellybean529

I was in this same position a few years ago. I wound up giving up on the photography because I had zero time for it. I've made it pretty far in my career since then so I have no regrets. I still do it as a hobby and enjoy it but I like not having the added pressure of "performing" for others if you KWIM. This was just my experience though. I'm sure others have gone the opposite way with success too.

acesup

aglenn said:

I would scale back the side business by taking on fewer projects for a while but stay in the game, keeping the door open to expand later as circumstances change.  You may hit a point in a few years where FT photography makes sense, and if you've stayed active in the market you'll have a huge advantage in making that happen.

Thank you. I could maybe do this. I actually did scale back for a while. I was initially booking 3 sessions a week and working FT and it was insane. I went down to 1 session per week. But even that felt like too much. Because it has to be on Saturdays (for Childcare reasons and my FT job) it was taking time away from the only day that we are all home together. So I feel like if I scales back to 2 sessions per month I wouldn't be in the game enough to draw in new clients and make it worth my while. With what it costs to keep up with equipment and new props and backdrops, insurance, and adding it the value of my time, I would've actually be making much, if anything.

It's definitely something to keep in mind. I am so afraid that I will regret closing it. I felt a pit in my stomach turning down a newborn session today. Those are my absolute favorite but also the most time consuming and most amount of work. But I felt also felt so sad when I found myself finding reasons to turn down sessions and when I would leave on a Saturday and my DD would ask where I was going and when I said "work" she said "again?!"

aforst

Ugh. Being a grown up really sucks sometimes. If I were you I'd scale way back on the side job. You can always take on jobs if you find yourself with some extra time once your FT job slows down. You can always reasses as time goes on. The feel I get from your post is that you know what decision you should make. I know it's hard to do when it means potentially giving up something that you love.

Spin313

Can you take on a partner or secondary photographer at the studio...? That would allow you to shoot as much or as little as you want/can without worrying about closing the business.

acesup

jellybean529 said:

I was in this same position a few years ago. I wound up giving up on the photography because I had zero time for it. I've made it pretty far in my career since then so I have no regrets. I still do it as a hobby and enjoy it but I like not having the added pressure of "performing" for others if you KWIM. This was just my experience though. I'm sure others have gone the opposite way with success too.

This is how I feel- I kind of want to go back to hobbyist bc there is no pressure and if I don't have time or feel overwhelmed or have a day with zero creativity it isn't affecting someone else. Do you feel like you're getting to fulfill your creative need still with being a hobbyist and shooting just for yourself? Did you feel sad when you stopped?

acesup

Spin313 said:

Can you take on a partner or secondary photographer at the studio...? That would allow you to shoot as much or as little as you want/can without worrying about closing the business.

I don't have a studio (I wish!). I'm on location so it's mostly outdoors or at their home. Since it's a small personal business I don't think this would work. Not trying to sound pompous but they are paying for me. The business name is my name, the work is all mine. So when they view my portfolio and consult, they're paying me to do their shoot KWIM? Since it was a new business I put a lot of money into equipment etc so I'm in the hole. Def can't pay someone. Also kind of feel bad about how much I put into it, but I can sell my back up camera and a lens or two as well as other equipment. I would keep my main camera and lenses for my personal work.

acesup

mcbenny said:

Take some time off and see hour life without photography.

If it's truly a passion and a talent you will and can easily get back to it.

You're right. I can always go back.

jellybean529

piglet6609 said:

I was in this same position a few years ago. I wound up giving up on the photography because I had zero time for it. I've made it pretty far in my career since then so I have no regrets. I still do it as a hobby and enjoy it but I like not having the added pressure of "performing" for others if you KWIM. This was just my experience though. I'm sure others have gone the opposite way with success too.

This is how I feel- I kind of want to go back to hobbyist bc there is no pressure and if I don't have time or feel overwhelmed or have a day with zero creativity it isn't affecting someone else. Do you feel like you're getting to fulfill your creative need still with being a hobbyist and shooting just for yourself? Did you feel sad when you stopped?

I felt relieved, to be honest. I absolutely feel like my creative need is being fulfilled -- even moreso now because I'm photographing more than just people. I can go to the beach and photograph a seagull flying over the ocean, or photograph the leaves changing color in fall (which I did last fall, before we left new england), or anything else I feel like doing without having to make people look good. And i can make mistakes and it only affects me. No regrets at all.

acesup

@jellybean529‌ thank you so much! It makes me feel a lot better to hear that.

lollitots

I want me drink too. Please let it be alcoholic. You set your schedule with the photo business (as in how many clients, right?). I would pick and choose my favorite clients and only work one weekend a month. This keeps you foot in the door, so to speak, but lets you have family time for most of the month. Sorry if this as mentioned before, I didn't bother to read all the responses. I just wanted my drink.

acesup

cmeon_the_water said:

I love photography, but, I hate dealing with people and their drama in a huuuuge way. I value my hobbies enough to know better than try to monetize them- I know they would mean less to me if I *HAD* to do them. I'm even pretty icky about friends and family asking for me to make/do/craft something for them, it takes it from being my outlet, my time, into someone else's. And I'm selfish. It has to be my idea.

You're so new in the biz, it shouldn't be that hard to walk away. I'm sure you've connected with other local photographers, just send any requests their way (assuming you like them and their work, of course). Keep up your equipment (or upgrade it if you're not shooting with quality stuff) as time goes on. It's not like you can't try again, if you're up to it one day, and better equipment makes photography even more fun.

You're right and I agree in that it was starting to feel like "work" and that was frustrating me.

acesup

cmeon_the_water said:

Why do you feel bad about putting money into something you love to do? I have pro equipment, even my back-up camera is better than many of the momtographers out there- I've never brought in a cent on my photography. And I'm a SAHM. If you can't afford the equipment (it doesn't sound like that's the case), by all means, sell it. Do get rid of what you won't use (especially bodies that degrade in value, glass you want to upgrade anyway, bulky backgrounds and things that you don't want to store), but, hobbies have value.

I think the only reason I feel bad is because I bought a lot at once bc I was in business rather than buying it for myself over time. I will prob sell the backup because I really don't use it and only kept it bc I was in business and god forbid my reg camera crapped out for some reason in the middle of a session. I am definitely keeping my good stuff (Nikon D800). I can afford it with my new job I just probably would've saved for it slowly as an extra treat had I not been in business. And I will sell the lighting gear because honestly I don't like using it. Lol.

acesup

@cmeon_the_water‌ thanks a lot