Special Needs

Explaining the therapies and the needed aides for SN needs to the other parent

*I hope my title makes sense

On Monday, The Lil Emperor got fitted for APOs. The PT had told us way back in March that she had a feeling he would need them but she was willing to work with him with the high ankle shoes (at my request and she went on Maternity Leave). The PT who was filling in for her had made the same recommendation but wanted the primary PT to make the call and tell me about the process. *sigh* But we got it done and in 4 weeks we will have them.

I let his father know about the evaluation and told him he got fitted for them. He blew a mild gasket and I had to explain why he needed them. He seemed to agree some after that but he threw in the “he will get it on his own/in his own time speech”. I don’t want to take that chance but it does make me question myself and what really is in his best interest.

(I should add, The Lil Emperor’s father and I are not together. He moved out of the house in the middle of March).

This isn’t the first time he questioned the point of these appointments and therapies. He didn’t and still doesn’t see the point of the feeding therapy, of adding on the speech etc. About two weeks we kinda had a “come to Jesus meeting” and I told him everything that was going on and that I needed help with his appointments and babysitting etc. He told me to stop adding stuff on because I cant handle all of that and work. And he wants me to get rid of the nanny who I do pay to help with the Lil Emperor. On this day I also said the words “Your son has special needs” to him and he didn’t seem to like that. And it just went into a tailspin after that.

From The Lil Emperor’s birth til now, I have handled all of the medical stuff and trying to be a team (while we were together), I let him know what was going on and the importance of him getting more involved but he seemed not to be too interested and when I had to make a decision he would get upset and say I didnt consult him. And like I said, this makes me feel and believe I am not really doing what is in the best interest of The Lil Emperor and not following my “Mommy Gut”.

How have other parents communicated with each other in regards to their SN Child? Especially if you and the other parent are no longer together?


Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Re: Explaining the therapies and the needed aides for SN needs to the other parent

  • I admit that I do 90% of the scheduling/therapy/treatment decisions but I SAH and DH works.
    He comes to Dev. Ped appointments and IEP appointments and I relay what her team is saying and doing.
    He does occasionally not get it in a why are we doing all this kind of way.
    Then I have to show him her videos showing where she was vs where she is now and it hits him how far she has come thanks to therapy.
    Could you do something like that? Do a video to document where your son is and then again in 3-6 months and show him how important therapy is because they are helping him?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • My DS was diagnosed in April. Prior to the diagnosis he was receiving ST and OT.    I made sure his father had the phone numbers to the therapists so that he could contact them and get all information from them. That cut down on our arguments.  His father and I did not have a good relationship before the diagnosis and after the diagnosis he blamed me. Recently we had a heart to heart and he is fine with how everything is going but just wants me to keep him in the loop.  I agreed.  We will see how long this lasts.  
  • Loading the player...
  • wife07mom09 we currently do not have a formal custody agreement via the courts.

    hopecounts  I have thought about doing the videos to show him his progress but I assumed that when he does see him, he would be able to tell that there is a difference.

    illheel  My son was a preemie and I think somewhere deep inside he blames me for it.

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • wife07mom09 we currently do not have a formal custody agreement via the courts.

    hopecounts  I have thought about doing the videos to show him his progress but I assumed that when he does see him, he would be able to tell that there is a difference.

    illheel  My son was a preemie and I think somewhere deep inside he blames me for it.


    Depends on how frequently your X sees your son. My parents see DD every month or two and are always thrilled with the progress they see and mention things we haven't thought about that are knew because they slipped in so gradually. And I'll be honest DH is pretty oblivious, I mean he knows she is progressing but when I point out that she is now doing X he's kind of surprised a lot of the time or all I didn't realize she could do that, even though she has been doing it at home and around him, he just isn't thinking about it.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"