Second IUI didn't work-need advice — The Bump
LGBT Parenting

Second IUI didn't work-need advice

So today we went in for blood work and it was negative. I had a feeling it was because I hadn't felt any different or had any pregnancy symptoms. So I guess I'm wondering what to do next. Should we change the sperm donor? We used the same one both times. Should we change the cryobank? Should I change my diet? Take different vitamins to help? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Married my wife 7/22/2012
1st IUI-May 31st
2nd IUI-July9th

Re: Second IUI didn't work-need advice

  • CageyMackCageyMack member
    edited July 2014
    Hi!  I'm sorry that it didn't take.  It's a hard slap for sure.  We are just off a roller-coaster to get pregnant and we had month after month of negative IUI.  It is awful.

    Regarding your questions, I don't see a signature, so I can't see what your protocol was.

    Here are my suggestions, based upon knowing nothing:

    1. Go to an RE.  These are much better than OBs.
    2. Do the diagnostic tests they suggest, HSG, saline hysterosonogram, etc.   

    What were the counts on your sperm?  What meds where you on?  I have a stupid-lucky utereus and got pregnant on my 1st IUI, but that is rare.  However, if you are not getting excellent care, your IUIs are wasted, for example, if you have blocked tubes (which an HSG would find).  How many follicles were you releasing?  If it isn't monitored and triggered, you are reducing your chances a lot.  

    Good luck!

    CageyMack
    37, married to my favorite person in the world, DW! One darling surfer-girl (12) and one darling, sweet boy born 3/16/13.

    5/2013 Started TTC #3, DW's turn: 5/2013: Diagnostics (shg) and surgery (polyp rem.) for best chances. July-Oct: IUI # 1-4, medicated, monitored, triggered.  All BFN. IVF in Jan May. Sheesh. Whoop! IVF#1 cycle started 4/2/14. 5/1: 19 eggs retrieved, 8 matured, ICSI'd.  4 fertilized.   Only 2 to transfer/freeze stage. 5/6: Two embryos transferred. 5/15: Beta #1 9dp5dt is 134! BFP! 5/19: Beta #2 13dp5dt is 672! B'erFP! 5/21: Beta #3 15dp5dt is 1853.  Yay!


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    Rebeckbec
  • I'm mobile bumping, so I too can't see a siggy if you have one.

    I agree with everything @CageyMack‌ said. I'll also add that there's only a 20% chance that an IUI will be successful. So, even if it was a perfect cycle with perfect timing, it may not work and it doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

    My RE's threshold for changing things up was 3 IUIs. And not necessarily because anything was truly "wrong," but because she recognized the emotional and financial toll repeated failed cycles take on a person/couple.

    Personally, I think it's too early to think about switching donors if the numbers are good and your donor has reported pregnancies. But, I say that with the mind frame that I was attached to our donor and it would have been difficult for me to think about switching. So if you aren't attached and it would make you feel better, no harm there either.

    If you think you need to do something proactive to feel better at your chances, many people (myself included) have found acupuncture to be helpful (my two pregnancies both resulted from cycles in which I had acupuncture).

    I hope you figure out a plan you feel good about and have your BFP very soon!
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    Rebeckbec
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  • I agree that it is too early to to switch donors, unless your donor has a low sperm count. Even a straight couple having well-timed sex shouldn't expect to be pregnant after two months of trying. Honestly, two IUIs with a BFN is not failure or even a reason to worry. I know that's easier said than done, but I've been there. It took 6 IUIs for me to get pregnant. #6 was going to be our last attempt before we regrouped and decided what to do next.

    And I agree that if you aren't seeing an RE, I would highly recommend that. They can do some tests and advise you in a way that a regular OB is probably not going to do. My OB recommended an RE and we were very happy with her.
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    Rebeckbec
  • ATXmommas said:
    II'll also add that there's only a 20% chance that an IUI will be successful. So, even if it was a perfect cycle with perfect timing, it may not work and it doesn't mean you need to change a thing.
    This. Just keep trying!
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

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    Rebeckbec
  • I'm definitely not an expert, but I would just keep at it, and you have the support of your bumpie family :). I got very very lucky. I was fully expecting to go a few more rounds of IUIs and I still would if I didn't get a BFP my first time around.
    TTC History 
    First IUI: 7/7/2014 - 7/21/2014 BFP!!
    8/15/14 - 7 weeks 5 days EP :(

    Rebeckbec
  • I would do as pp mentioned.
    I remember getting lost in the
    "what if's " when we were doing iui's.
    What if we switch donors, what if we do an herbal cleanse, what if you stand on your head the 3rd Tuesday of the month. It's exhausting trying to get the timing right. I've come to believe it's a little of science, little of timing and lots of luck! I hope yours is short and successful.
    Rebeckbecfirstcomeslove2013
  • Well, first of all I want to say thank you for all of the responses! I am not 100% sure on how to make a signature so that is something I will have to work on!

    I have been going to a fertility center... I didn't even talk to an ob about it because at the time I didn't have one. When I initially started last Aug. I found out I had PCOS so they put me on metformin and then I did the hysterosonogram and everything came back fine. I was supposed to go back last Dec. after being on metformin for 4 months and then with the holidays and other "life" things I got lazy and never made the call to schedule an appointment. So then in April we started getting more serious. We had the 1st IUI on May 31st and then the second July 9th.

    I've been on metformin, prental vit, coq10, omega3 and then femara to get my follicles to grow, dexamethasone and baby aspirin. I've definitely gone through all of the monitoring.... driving 45 min there and then 45 min to work every other day is not fun!

    I would definitely like to stick with the same donor. He had good numbers and it took forever for my wife and I to agree on one! So hopefully I get my period and we can get the ball rolling again.

    Thank you again for all of the responses. It is so helpful!

    Oh, as far as acupuncture goes did you do it just when you did the IUI or during monitoring?
    Married my wife 7/22/2012
    1st IUI-May 31st
    2nd IUI-July9th
  • Tried to do a signature, not sure if it will work.
    Married my wife 7/22/2012
    1st IUI-May 31st
    2nd IUI-July9th
  • I know how frustrating it is to get BFNs.  It was never easy, no matter what number try it was.  As PPs have said, after 2, I wouldn't change a whole lot.  My RE had us give it 3 tries before we did anything differently.  We did change donors, but we really probably didn't need to in terms of whether or not that had anything to do with me not getting pregnant.  I only picked donors who had proven pregnancies, so I already knew the sperm could do the job.  

    Though we beat ourselves up over the "what ifs" in terms of whether or not we did "enough" to help the process, here is how I think about it...  Women in third world countries who walk miles for clean water, who don't eat nutritiously (due to lack of nutritious foods) and who live under extreme stress conditions can and do get pregnant and deliver babies.  Women who are full of drugs can and do get pregnant and deliver babies.  I hated hearing this, but it is true that it can take a year for a healthy straight couple to get pregnant.  That same rule applies to us, even if the sperm get a little help getting where they need to go.  

    Me: 30  DW (aka C): 29

    Together since 2/15/11 ~ Legally married in NY on 9/29/12

    ***CP mentioned***

    We've been working on baby #1 since July 2013 using Open ID donor sperm.  8 IUI attempts with 5 actual IUIs and one chemical pregnancy.  We have one fresh IVF cycle under our belts as well as a FET.  I have endometriosis and a uterine septum that was corrected via surgery in November 2013. 

    11/14/14 -  Second HSG shows that tubes are still clear and ute is looking good. 

    12/6/14 - Started BCPs in prep for IVF #2

    12/22/14 - Saline u/s and endometrial scratch (All was clear and OUCH!)

    1/2/15 - Began stimming for IVF #2

     ****All Welcome!****

    We are Mommas to four fur babies - 3 dogs and 1 cat.

    image   

    Rebeckbec
  • As far as acupuncture, I went about once a week during my cycle, but the most important is to have it right before or right after your IUI.
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    Rebeckbec
  • Stacy-You really put it into perspective for me! I think I needed to hear a lot of what you said!

    I may definitely look into acupuncture this time.... I will try just about anything within reason :-)
    Married my wife 7/22/2012
    1st IUI-May 31st
    2nd IUI-July9th
  • @Rebeckbec I'm (kinda) in your boat too. Wife and I have tried three times at home with frozen donor sperm -- all BFN. For what it's worth, we are swapping donors now but that's because our donor does NOT have a pregnancy yet. In the beginning that didn't seem like a big deal but eight months later (and the donors "stock" has fluctuated so I know other people have been trying too...) it seems REALLY important.  

    I started acupuncture in June and it has done wonders for extending and regulating my cycle AND general stress relief/relaxation during this stressful process. So while I'm NOT pregnant (yet), I can highly recommend acupuncture. I go once a week but we're thinking of adjusting that depending on what we decide our next steps will be. We're off to investigate a clinic this afternoon.... :) 
    Rebeckbec
  • Best thing we ever did in that department was leave our regular OB and go to a reproductive medicine clinic.  Our OB botched more than one IUI (thawed then waited more than an hour to come back on one occasion and other such bad mistakes).  We were so upset by the process- both financially and emotionally since nothing was covered so between sperm and delivery and procedures each attempt was well over 1k.  We finally made appointment at IVF clinic.  First time worked, 27 weeks pregnant with twins now.  Only regret was waiting the 5 months.  We spent about as much on IUI attempts than we did on one IVF.  All cash out of pocket.  Just our experiences...

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    Rebeckbec
  • I feel so much more relief hearing everyone's stories! I was so optimistic the first time and then the second I don't think I was really "feeling it" so much. I already feel like this is going to be the cycle that works. Third times the charm! Now I just have to get my period! I know last time after I stopped the crinone I had it within 3 days so maybe tomorrow and then I can go to the dr on Monday fingers crossed!
    Married my wife 7/22/2012
    1st IUI-May 31st
    2nd IUI-July9th
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