Messy houses

PumpkinAndThePeanut

I saw this article this morning and it reminded me of our recent UO discussion. This nicely sums up my feelings on the topic.

https://m.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2014/07/21/i-blamed-my-wife-for-our-messy-house-i-was-wrong-for-many-reasons/

coffeeandbooks

I tend to be a little OCD so in a way I am a little jealous of people with messy houses because I imagine they are more laid back then me and that is something I admire.  A clean house though tends to make me feel relaxed though so that is why I keep it up.

The only issue I take with this article is the idea that people have a choice between spending time with their kids and cleaning.   I always clean with LO and he loves to help.   When we do laundry he puts the clothes in the dryer.   Then when the clothes are dry,  its a treat for him to roll around in the clean laundry and then he helps me put in the basket while I fold.    He loves to sweep...chases me around excitedly when I vacuum and the dishwasher is probably his favorite thing....he will run to it as soon as he hears the dishwasher door open.  Its fun for him to help and he is proud when he can pitch in.

We still go to the park and do kids centered stuff...but cleaning is also another form of educational play  for him which we do together.

PumpkinAndThePeanut

I think that will change as he gets older. The kids in the writer's family appear to be older and probably aren't so easily entertained.

For me, it really is a choice because I can't keep an eye on both of them on our not-completely-babyproofed main level and upstairs level (where all the cleaning needs to happen) while doing the cleaning.

Anyway, not to beat a dead horse, I just thought it was a nice article.

coffeeandbooks

^^, not a dead horse, I thought it was an interesting article and I am glad you shared it.   I  have no idea what it is like to have two running around so I am sure that presents a challenge as well as the split level.
I grew up doing chores with my family, some of them were fun and others not so much, but I think it is important for growth.   I really like the Montessori approach to teaching kids about household tasks so hopefully LO will take to that as he gets older.

pnutg

Both articles posted were very good. I tend to agree wholeheartedly with the one @BananaBoat05 shared. I clean and do other things while C is awake sometimes but I'm also basically a stay at home mom who has a lot of opportunities to play and take him to kid centered activities. So I can see how a working mom's situation is much different than mine.

Oohgurl

I will beat a dead horse. Different people have different things going on in their lives. Some have H's that travel, some have multiple children, some have elderly parents at home they need to take care of. 

I had to hire someone to help me clean the house. I am thankful that I am financially able to do so but before I hired the person my house was dusty, my laundry was clean but stacked in piles. I work 10+ hour days, 5 days a week, have an hour commute, have a mentally exhausting job. I come home, cook, play with LO before getting on the computer and paying the bills or doing as much shopping on Amazon so I don't have to make an extra trip on the weekend to places like Target. If I am lucky, I go to the gym for an hour to keep myself healthy. 

I am not unique at all and believe there are many many people in my position. To properly clean my 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom house it takes about 7-8 hours of work. That does not include the vacuuming every 2 days because of the dog or the daily dishes. So I am glad that some people have it 'all figured out'. Good for you. But I find that karma usually kisses people that judge people without knowing all the facts so I tend to avoid being judgmental in other people's lives. 

coffeeandbooks

@oohgurl...I hope my post didn't come off as judgemental...because I believe in karma and definitely don't think I have it all together.    I think moms who work outside of the home have to prioritize their time differently and cleaning likely shouldn't be on top of the list, and yeah there are so many other circumstances to why someone might  not have a clean house that it doesn't make sense to judge.

huzzahuzza

@BananaBoat05‌ that was really big of you to say! I think though, you are probably not alone and every.single.one of us wonders if we spend enough quality time with our kids. Even when I'm home all day every day with my child, I wonder if I'm being selfish in having that hour and a half at the gym or watching Ellen in the afternoon. We have to pick and choose small things that make us happy too! There is a part of mommyhood that includes self-care! I know that I feel better having a clean and clutter free home but that only lasts for an hour on Sundays before it's messed up again, but if you are happier and healthier when you have a clean home then you've gotta do it!
Both articles have good points btw.

Boo0512

My kid screams bloody murder when I run my vacuum cleaner, even if I hold her while I do it. That's fun.

PumpkinAndThePeanut

^ so do mine.

Boo0512

What I hate about our current house is that it's so small that I can't do any of the noisy chores like vacuuming and loading/unloading the dishwasher when she's napping. Thank God we're moving to a 2 story house!

Oohgurl

BananaBoat05 said:

JFC do I have to get flamed for this AGAIN?? I'm sorry for my judgement post in the judgement thread. I am sorry I judged unfairly. I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. Can we be done with this now? Eta: typo

I don't think anyone was flaming you. I don't think they were flaming you in the other post either. You gave a strongly worded post and you got some in return. Personally, I don't think anyone was really being judge mental but I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to stuff like that.

To me saying karma will come back to kiss me is flaming. Maybe I'm too sensitive (been accused of that many times).

It was more of general statement about me, actually. Before I was a parent, I judged others on their parental skills and now I know I didn't have a clue.