1st appt. after miscarriage (ticker warning)

runswitscissors

Today was my first appt. with the ob/gyn after my miscarriage...luckily I started my period y-day so I was given the go-ahead to starter trying by her...I'm excited to try again...but very scared that I will miscarry again...and very worried that if I do get pregnant that at 8 wks I will miscarry again like last time...the dr. told me that would be unlikely but still...I'm afraid...I'm just kind of venting here...but I'm praying for all of us here...that if we do get pregnant that it sticks and everything is ok...lots of warm and loving thoughts ladies...xoxo

jjbmstinco

I am sorry for your loss.

runswitscissors

I get that there are people who have been on this board a long time...but I didn't realize I would get such negative feedback from venting and then wishing others good thoughts..I have posted here before...and look at this board daily...I will not be posting here ever again...good luck ladies...

mara005

Did I miss the negative feedback? :-/

jjbmstinco

@ktlovess was nothing but nice to you.  All she asked is to for us to get to know you.  I am new and have never felt anything but support on this board. 

@runswitsissors-I hope you stay and let us get to know you. These ladies are a great support and fulled of excellent advice.  I hope you realize that why your ticker can be hurtful to many of us. 

goldengirl84

@ktlovess :-??

goldengirl84

@ktlovess :x You couldn't if you tried!!

jjbmstinco

@ktlovess- Thanks for being awesome.

ambmama

Wait, please! @runswitscissors‌ I remember you from feb15 and know you were active and well liked there. Please come back - @ktlovess‌ was really just asking you to post an intro about you and erase your ticker because it could really be painful for other ladies here. Ladies - you are all amazing. If @runswitscissors‌ comes back, are we ok to understand she's in a sensitive spot and maybe took the advice in the first response as a 'here are the rules of our board' over a supportive response. The first post here can be scary and I think she just really needed support. Love you all and hope we can all come together,

ambmama

@ktlovess‌ I really love this board so I hope this doesn't put me in a bad light. I respect you and I'm torn between sharing my thoughts on this post and this community. Your post says - do an intro, check our blog, post in the newbie check in, and delete your ticker. She admitted she is just venting because she is just going through something and needed a place to turn to. Maybe it should have been the m/c board, but she talks about ttcal and her fears. So I think she was just needing support in a moment, and as she said she's been here before she expected to receive it. I've been here only a week and received amazing support just Friday when I had a meltdown. Just my thoughts.

ambmama

@ktlovess‌ I completely see it wasn't your intention and I know you are so supportive just from a small time being here. I agree we need to get the pregnancy ticker warning up ASAP if she doesn't change it. But overall - I can see why someone feeling desperate would be a bit turned off - but not your fault. You are trying to protect us! I think being a newer person on this board with just dealing with ttcal 2x since March, I may have a different perspective for newbies here and first impression because we all know they go both ways. @runswitscissors‌ hope you come back and get to know these lovely ladies again!

Poppy715

@ktlovess‌ lost was nothing demanding. She suggested things that would help her fit in with the established community here. The blog also has SO many resources and helpful info for a recent loss. It's not just the etiquette and G2G pics. There's so much that could help her.

I don't think OP would have responded to anything well. She seems very raw emotionally and still very fragile. Blowing up like she did at a simple request to delete her ticker and reacting to KTs post with such anger makes me feel like she isn't ready to give and receive support. We are all here for each other. We all have bad days and need to vent but we don't fly off the handle when a gentle request is made of us.

I'm sure if OP read her post with an outsiders perspective and with less animosity she could probably see our side of things.

gscoville

ambmama said:

@ktlovess‌ I really love this board so I hope this doesn't put me in a bad light. I respect you and I'm torn between sharing my thoughts on this post and this community. Your post says - do an intro, check our blog, post in the newbie check in, and delete your ticker. She admitted she is just venting because she is just going through something and needed a place to turn to. Maybe it should have been the m/c board, but she talks about ttcal and her fears. So I think she was just needing support in a moment, and as she said she's been here before she expected to receive it. I've been here only a week and received amazing support just Friday when I had a meltdown. Just my thoughts.

@ktlovess 's response to OP was kind, welcoming, and pretty standard for someone posting here for the first time - we ALWAYS remind people of the rules no matter how new they are or raw they might be from their loss.  Most take it as it is meant, a "Welcome but please make note of some things you may not have noticed before posting"; we just can't be responsible for those who get in a tizzy right off the bat just because someone happens to suggest how the board works best.  Either she wants our support or not, it's up to her to decide if she wants to accept board norms in order to continue to post here or not.  Coddling newbies by allowing them to flout the rules and accepted standards of board practice just because they're in a bad place does them absolutely no favours and nullifies the feelings of the rest of us who could realistically be in just as bad a place.  We are all in a negative space at various times, seeing those pg tickers is hurtful to many and suggesting she removes it is not unreasonable in any way.  And, in the end, I've been here long enough to know that those who, like the OP, react in such a quick and explosive way to something so innocuous as kt's reply, are really not ready to be here at this time anyways.  She's not the first tome come here and blow all reasonable reaction completely out of the water, and she unfortunately won't be the last.  

Poppy715

gscoville said:

ambmama said:

@ktlovess‌ I really love this board so I hope this doesn't put me in a bad light. I respect you and I'm torn between sharing my thoughts on this post and this community. Your post says - do an intro, check our blog, post in the newbie check in, and delete your ticker. She admitted she is just venting because she is just going through something and needed a place to turn to. Maybe it should have been the m/c board, but she talks about ttcal and her fears. So I think she was just needing support in a moment, and as she said she's been here before she expected to receive it. I've been here only a week and received amazing support just Friday when I had a meltdown. Just my thoughts.

@ktlovess 's response to OP was kind, welcoming, and pretty standard for someone posting here for the first time - we ALWAYS remind people of the rules no matter how new they are or raw they might be from their loss.  Most take it as it is meant, a "Welcome but please make note of some things you may not have noticed before posting"; we just can't be responsible for those who get in a tizzy right off the bat just because someone happens to suggest how the board works best.  Either she wants our support or not, it's up to her to decide if she wants to accept board norms in order to continue to post here or not.  Coddling newbies by allowing them to flout the rules and accepted standards of board practice just because they're in a bad place does them absolutely no favours and nullifies the feelings of the rest of us who could realistically be in just as bad a place.  We are all in a negative space at various times, seeing those pg tickers is hurtful to many and suggesting she removes it is not unreasonable in any way.  And, in the end, I've been here long enough to know that those who, like the OP, react in such a quick and explosive way to something so innocuous as kt's reply, are really not ready to be here at this time anyways.  She's not the first tome come here and blow all reasonable reaction completely out of the water, and she unfortunately won't be the last.  

Tru dat!
^:)^