How do you establish a bedtime routine?

RachelCA29

I'm (we're) at our wits end. We've tried earlier and later bedtimes, larger bottles, bath time, etc. before bed, but getting our son to sleep seems impossible. As soon as he shows signs of tiredness in the evening I try to start the bedtime routine, which is normally a diaper change a full bottle (4-6 ounces) while listening to his mobile music in the dimmed bedroom. But no matter how sleepy he seems when we put him in his crib he won't go to sleep. Now the bedtime routine takes hours and it basically us trying everything we can think of to get him to sleep, and stay asleep.

Last night it was driving him around in the car at 1:30 am. We started to get him ready for bed at 8 pm. He is usually sleepy around 7:30 or 8 pm. Previously we were doing his last bottle at 10 pm, but he seems to be napping less in the late afternoon so sleepier earlier in the evening now.

What works for everyone else? How did you find the routine that works?

haylo33

I've just started having LO nap in his crib during the day. So far I've had to swaddle him with a paci and he goes right to sleep. At night, he still sleeps in a RNP next to our bed. We give a bath around 8:30, lotion/massage, BF, change diaper, swaddle. Then if he is sleepy we put him in the RNP. If he is still wide awake, we hold him until he shows sleepy signs. Sorry you are having such a hard time. My little guy has always been a good sleeper so that is our routine. Do you swaddle? Use paci?

NYBride1125

Highly recommend a bath...it's a calming experience for most LO's and signals it is bed time...did it with our first LO and doing it with our new LO (9.5 weeks). Yes we bathe every night but use lots of lotion so he doesn't dry out. Has worked great.

caballo718

We just started noticing him getting sleepy about 8:00ish and DH started a sleep routine. Bottle, swaddle, pacifier and white noise. Sometimes he screams but it's usually cause he's overtired. He screamed for about 5 min tonight. Then we go back give him the pacifier when he calms down and he goes right to sleep. He just has to cry sometimes. I feel awful but it seems to be working.

Tkhixen

I start our routine at about 10;00.  I give a bath, put on pjs and swaddle. Turn off the lights except the reading light.  I turn on the sound machine and read a book while i give a bottle. When the book is finished, the light goes off while she finishes feeding,  She burps and then goes in the crib with her paci.  She usually sleeps 6 hours, sometimes longer.

yogasailmomma

@jsquaree‌ I'm with you on the aromatherapy. I used it on myself during pregnancy to help me sleep and I use it daily on her. I use top quality essential oils and just put a tiny bit mixed with coconut oil on her feet. It seems to help relax her or at the very least it's a signal for bedtime. I use a lavender blend, smells awesome.

RachelCA29

@haylo33‌ we use a pacifier but don't swaddle. During the day he naps so easily. As soon as he is sleepy I put him in his crib with his pacifier and music on (his mobile has a music only mode). He calms right down and goes to sleep. We just tried a bath, and my husband put him down. He was crying a lot but my husband kind of held him down gently to calm him. It's 30 degrees here right now, way too hot to try swaddling.
It's been 30 minutes and he is still asleep/quiet in his room.

RachelCA29

Oh, I should add he consistently sleeps 5 hours, slowly stretching to 6 the past few days. He goes 5 hours then another 2-3 after a bottle. It's just when the 5 hours starts depends on when he finally goes down (yesterday it was 1:30 am to 7 am). *sigh*

hbird0723

I also agree with baths and lavender. I try to give her a bath right before she gets sleepy. I put lavender Burt's bees in her bath. So if she wakes up at 5:30 like she did tonight then bath at 6:30 when she starts getting tired but hasn't done her usual signs. Her first sign is a sneeze. Weird I know but she does it everytime. Sometimes we don't get to the bath until after that. Then I do lotion and singing. She's getting more active now so I started reading her a short book and then we bounce or rock and she eats and sucks. She won't take a paci so sometimes this lasts 30 minutes. Then I put her down. I know it might not be the best to put her down when she's compleatly out of it but I like to snuggle her and I know she can put herself to sleep because she has before and she knows how to fall back to sleep in the middle of the night if she gets startled and isn't hungry. Our bedtime routine does take anywhere from an hour to 2 hours if she's fighting it. Tonight was an hour because she was really tired. She usually goes to sleep between 7:30 and 9:00. She's always been an early to bed early to rise girl but lately she's been sleeping in until 7 as well. Also I found that keeping her really busy during the day has helped with her sleeping longer and going down easier. I thought I was doing that before but now I do more outside activites with her. Maybe that would help if you aren't already doing that. We went swimming today for just a couple minutes and it wiped her out.

usernewname

Ours is shifting. He used to nurse to sleep.

Now he will nurse then squirm around. I put him down in his bed to see if he will fall asleep on his own. So I'm trying it out rather than fighting him for the next 40 minutes.

ETA: its bath, jammies or sleep sack, hang with daddy-o, nurse then sleep ... until the past few days.

Marcella05

Doing something different every night is not a routine. Try sticking with the same routine for a week or two before ruling it out and trying something new. We started a routine around 3 weeks old, even though it didn't work for a couple weeks, but now it works like a charm.

usernewname

Marcella05 said:

Doing something different every night is not a routine. Try sticking with the same routine for a week or two before ruling it out and trying something new. We started a routine around 3 weeks old, even though it didn't work for a couple weeks, but now it works like a charm.

This! Consistency is key for these little ones establishing the world around them

Stick with it momma - it will come together soon

usernewname

Andplusalso. I hate to say it. But those babies that fall asleep on their own are exceptions to the rule. Most babies at this age need a little help. Its a mythical unicorn I've been hoping will happen naturally at some point. There is a big discussion on April 14 about it, if you want to bump over there for some added reading

RachelCA29

Thanks all! The bath seemed to work, so I think we might stick with that, it seems like nights we do that are the "easiest" We also bottle feed breast milk (my son refuses to nurse) so I think we need to play with making the bottle the right amount so he is full, but not over full to have him go to sleep more peacefully.

I has been REALLY hot and humid here the past couple of days and night, so I think that might be contributing to his restlessness. We have A/C and a fan in his room, but it is still uncomfortable compared to the cooler nights we were blessed with the past month.

CallMeMrsChaos

For us the swaddle has been a godsend. I am a firm believer in it. DD is now 10 weeks old. She goes to bed at 8 or 8:30 (depending on her last feeding) and sleeps til about 5:30 or 6 the next morning. Our typical routine involves a diaper change, pj's, swaddle and snuggle with dad before I feed her for the last time. She generally falls asleep while eating, and then we place her in her crib for the night. This has been our routine since the day she came home from the hospital.

Tifers777

I just started a routine about 3 weeks ago because it seemed like he was starting to get in the groove of it. Last nap ends at 515-530 bath at 615 bottle, snuggles, and down by 715. He will sleep until 915 in his crib while I'm getting things done then I go get him and change his diaper Unswaddle him and feed him a couple ounces and he's back down til about 3. We are entering our 3rd leap so about 130-3 he's restless but I just leave him til he falls back asleep and then we get up to eat about 3 and he's back down til 6. He was usually sleeping until 4-430 so I'm hoping this leap is over soon and we resume cuz mama needs that sleep again!

lrmrtn

We feed DS around 6-6:30, do a diaper change and swaddle sack before he's finished and finish feeding him swaddled since eating makes him drowsy and put him down around 7:30. Sometimes he goes right down, sometimes he fusses until 8:30. We wake him up if doesn't wake up on his own around 10:30, do the same thing, put him down around 11-11:30. He usually goes down really easy. He's starting to sleep consistently 5 hours. Last night he slept 7 1/2!

DBonfante

We have been giving a bath at 6:15 lotion pajamas small bottle followed by dim lights and calm time. Then a larger bottle right before 8am when we noticed he was naturally falling asleep for the night. We kinda saw what he was doing and then made a routine around it. We kept it going for weeks before it was usually working. I say pick a routine and stick with it for weeks. Changing it too often is probably confusing for LO and not helping establish the routine you are working for. Keep it up and I'm sure it will start working soon!

RachelCA29

Hi Ladies!

I just wanted to thank everyone for the advice/encouragement. We've been working on being consistent with the bedtime routine and reading LO's signs more and have had a pretty good week of bedtimes. Colin always seems to want his last meal around 9:30 or 10 so instead of fighting that, bedtime is 10 pm and it just works easier for everyone. We have been doing a bath around 8 or 8:30 each night, and then get him ready for bed and doing a bottle at 9:30.

I read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" this week and have started swaddling him and using our sleep sheep (white noise) instead of his mobile music. He is now sleeping nearly 6 hours each night, and going back to sleep for another stretch fairly easily too.

Thanks again!!

Junebug060609

For both my kids at this age it is/was jammies and a diaper and then NTS. With DD I add a swaddle. Swaddle makes a HUGE difference with her. Girl would startle herself awake all night without it. In hindsight I should have used one with DS longer. He startled himself awake A LOT in the 3rd and 4th month...

Sounds like you are making some good changes

bridetobe9132013

We dont really have a schedule yet. My lo eats her last bottle between 8 & 10 usually and then goes to sleep until about 6-8am. After her bottle, we have been putting her down in her swing to sleep and then transporting her upstairs to the pack n play to sleep for the night but im going to start putting her in the pack n play after her feeding. Im also going to start nap times in her crib, instead of the swing or bouncy seat. I only bath her twice a week, should I do it more often?

momthatlifts

This is our routine. Some nights she is colicky and she never goes to sleep at the same time. I usually give her a bath after the sun goes down. I was doing it later for a while then immediately swaddling. But I give her a bath every night. She just discovered splashing so I let her splash like a wild woman for about 30-45. Minutes. Then (just added this recently) we snuggle in the towel and I'll try to feed her. Gives her time to warm back up. If not , she screams and she just gets worked up again. Then diaper, Then pj's (sone time a swaddle), and then I put her in her swing to calm her. When I go to bed I bring her to bed with me which usually ends in one more attempt to feed or her falling asleep on my chest and then I put her in her rnp