Two appointments this week- feeling anxious

mrsjg2013

Good morning.  I didn't realize how anxious I was about my appointments this week until this morning.  My husband and I are going to see a genetic counselor today.  Our first two losses were unexplained, testing thus far on me has not revealed anything abnormal (no karaotyping has been done on DH or me), and our last loss was found to be a result of T21 (no translocations/fragmentations in the report).  I'm assuming he/she is just going to throw statistics at us and offer a genetic screen for the both of us.  Honestly, I've heard enough statistics.  They mean nothing to me at this point... "your chances of having another miscarriage are low," "this type of miscarriage happens to many women," "this number of women go on to have healthy pregnancies after this many miscarriages."  BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  I've had three miscarriages in a row... I know the high numbers of women this affects- I talk to them regularly on thebump and it is tragic beyond belief, it does not make our losses less sad to know that there are so many other women experiencing it, we can only try to give each other comfort in understanding... Your statistics have been wrong thus far, you can not guarantee that I will not have another loss even though the "chances" are high.  And what's karaotyping going to tell me?  My chances... that's it.  They can't help prevent another miscarriage, unless I stop trying or go IVF.  

Then tomorrow is my appointment with my RE for a hysteroscopy.  (That's if AF finally stops!)  I think I'm more anxious about finally asking the "when can we try again" question than the actual procedure.  I'm assuming this month is a no-go considering there will be a camera in my uterus only a few days before ovulation... seems like that might cause the environment to be less than perfect for a healthy pregnancy.  But I'm so ready to try again the following month.  If he says three months or six months, then I have to make the decision whether I feel comfortable going against the doctor's advice.  

Thank you for reading my rant and for your support/advice.  

Km380

I don't have much in advice here, I hope your appts go well and you can have a plan soon. Please follow the dr instructions though. Good luck today

mrsjg2013

Thank you all for the support and advice.  I guess I should've worded my "going against the doctor's advice" a bit better.  If he gives me a medical reason why it's not advisable to try again until a certain point, I would never risk a miscarriage by being too eager.  However, if he suggests waiting for emotional reasons or doesn't have a specific reason why (maybe I've read too many stories of other women getting the "just because" reason), then I feel like I need to make a decision based on how I'm feeling emotionally and physically.  I've followed the doctor's advice both times before... didn't have a happy ending either time  I just don't have faith in statistics right now, I guess.  I will go into the appointment with more of an open mind, however... thanks for that

alm288

I'm sorry that you are feeling so anxious. I don't have any experience, but imagine that your feelings are completely normal. I hope you come up with a solid plan moving forward. Hope your appts go well. Will be thinking of you. (((Hugs)))

mrsjg2013

Just got done with the genetic counselor... went as expected.  She was very nice, but didn't really tell me anything that I didn't already know or have a general understanding of.  Okay, she might have used fancier words!  Going to check with insurance on what they will/won't cover in terms of doing a blood chromosomal analysis on DH and I.  

mrsjg2013

Just got the word from the insurance rep... genetic testing is not covered, so we've discussed it, and that will not be part of our TTC journey at this point.  

mrsjg2013

Wish my update from today was a positive one... unfortunately, my RE found retained tissue.  He said possibly a polyp or fibroid, but more likely tissue.  I'm choosing to see if my body will shed it naturally after one more period, but if not, guess it'll be back to the surgery center  Thank you all for your continued thoughts/prayers.