What would you do?

TLooney17

I had iui #2 yesterday. When we decided to try iui's it was with the thought that we would see how DH's sperm held up after being washed, and that we would possibly try up to 3. IUI #1 we had a post wash count of 3 million( 12 million pre-wash)  which obviously isn't great, but still above the 1 million cut off that our RE has. Yesterday's post wash count was only 900,000 ( 3 million pre-wash). I asked the RE if he thought we should attempt another iui, and he said sure I don't have a problem with you doing one more iui since you have already done 2 but then we might have to talk about something more aggressive.

I went ahead and set up a consultation for two weeks from yesterday to talk about options. Our iui's have been covered by insurance, but we only have a $5,000 lifetime max benefit for IF treatment. That does not include medication, so meds are covered with no max. Anything diagnostic is also covered separately from the IF treatment benefit. My question is would you try another iui and use more of our insurance benefit ( and time )  or would you move forward with IVF? IVF is a difficult subject for us, because we do not believe in destroying embryos and we do not feel comfortable donating our embryos. I know those are only possible issues down that road, but they are questions that we were hoping not to even have to consider. My DH basically just tells me that he will go along with whatever I decide.

JericaLH

I feel the same way about destroying/donating embryos which is why DH and I decided that was a no-go from the get-go. When we started this whole IF journey we talked about how far we were willing to go. IVF goes against some of my personal religious beliefs (To each her own! No judgment from me if you have done IVF.) and DH isn't comfortable with the expense. So we agreed early on that if it came to IVF as our only option we would start looking into the adoption process.

However every situation is different. You could always do IVF and choose to implant as many embryos as you get so there aren't any left over? Crazy I know but a possibility if you only get a couple? I hope you can sort out how you want to continue. Good luck!

Pintobean39

I might would go on and move forward to IVF since you have coverage and if would give you better chances.

As far as destroying or donating. That's something you really need to seriously think about all possibilities before you make the decision to move onto IVF. We don't want to destroy embryos either if there is a chance it could go onto a sustainable life. We did genetic testing on all our embabies. All the abnormal ones didn't have a chance so were ok with destroying them. I'm not going to lie I've been worried that one would have downs and I would be torn as to what to do with it.

My husband and I sat down and discussed every possibility of what we would do for every situation before we started the IVF process, before any emotions were in play. I highly recommend doing this before to make sure you make the best decision that is right for you. Good luck!

emmuffy

Some people succeed through IUI, but the chances are so much better that if you have the coverage, I'd just move to IVF. That being said, you need to think about what you'd do with any leftovers. Keep in mind not everyone gets enough for extras to be frozen. Talk to your doctor. Maybe mini-IVF is the route for you? (Goal of fewer follicles than regular IVF, less likelihood of extras).

Chasity08

As the PPs have said, I would move forward with IVF in order to maximize your insurance benefit. Before moving forward there are going to be a lot of hard talks, and you may consider taking a month to really consider all of your options and "what-if" scenarios. Good luck to you!

MrsLolaSky

TLooney17. Clearly, I don't have any answers… but I guess I'll just say that DH and I are evaluating the same questions. 

I also share your view on destroying embryos, which adds to the difficulty of these decisions. The previous posters gave great advice about talking through every scenario, though. I think there is also some counseling available before IVF, so maybe that will help.

***Good luck!*** Please keep me updated with what you guys end up doing.

BunnyBerry

Since you have such concerns with IVF, it makes sense to try another IUI, if your RE feels comfortable with it.

I have the exact same concerns as you. We are constantly thinking about how to do IVF since we will not destroy or donate embryos. Hopefully neither of us will have to get to that point! We'd love many children, but I'm afraid of becoming physically unable to carry more due to my Crohn's.

Although we still have a lot of prayer to go through before we get to that point, I want to share that what I've been feeling is that the purpose is life. If there are a lot of eggs retrieved, I would ask about the possibility of fertilizing only a number you're comfortable with and freezing the eggs for the possibility that some could thaw successfully for another try. I'm not sure I could transfer embryos as the "wrong" time of a cycle, personally...it sounds like knowingly putting a child in mortal danger, if one considers the embryos as children. My sister has offered to carry unused embryos if I cannot, but clearly that could never be a solution for many.

I will say a prayer for your decision and your peace and comfort. It makes sense to give yourself and YH time to work through the ethics and decisions ahead of time with IVF counseling.

Edited to add: I didn't mean to say we would never donate embryos. That would just be as hard for us as giving up a child and I pray we never have to go that route.

TLooney17

@MrsLolaSky Thanks! I definitely keep you updated

@BunnyBerry Yes we have discussed the possibility of only fertilizing about 5 eggs. I just need to ask a lot of questions about statistics when we meet with our RE. I am not comfortable with the " compassionate transfer" either. I have definitely been praying that we will have peace about the situation. I was hoping to never have to make these decisions