Im facing official DX reveal alone.

Princess_Lily

Im facing the official DX reveal alone.

Not because DH can't take the time off, we just don't have a sitter to watch the kids.. Everyone we know will be at work, and the only family in town will be out, leaving that morning! The next available appointment isn't until DS is smack dab in the first week of school orientations next month!

Its not ideal by any means, but this is a 3 year journey now...I'm ready to pull the proverbial Band-Aid off. We both are. Now if by some rare chance there is an appointment cancelation in between now and Thursday, we will both be there.

Junebug060609

I went to my son's dx appt solo (and 30w pg with his sister) as well. DH was deployed. You can do this.

You might be surprised at how you react to finally having an official answer... I actually smiled when she said it and felt relief. FINALLY we knew and FINALLY a doctor had the balls to just say it.

Unknown

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Princess_Lily

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Princess_Lily

I think having the kids there will just be too much of a distraction for me...and I'm not sure I'm ready for DS to hear the news. He is quite smart and will pick up on anything we say...I don't want to filter the conversation.

DH knows and trusts me with the appointment, since I'm so familiar with the "road" already. Its just frusterating, because this is our future - this is the answer we've been asking for a while. It is, what it is though.

typeset

Put your spouse on speaker phone. 

mommy0411

Junebug060609 said:

I went to my son's dx appt solo (and 30w pg with his sister) as well. DH was deployed. You can do this. You might be surprised at how you react to finally having an official answer... I actually smiled when she said it and felt relief. FINALLY we knew and FINALLY a doctor had the balls to just say it.

Me too! I was 27 weeks with DS2 when the neurologist told me DS1 had autism. I wasn't expecting the diagnosis and it took my breath away. It will be hard but you will get through and I agree not having the kids there will make it easier. I was trying to pay attention to the doctor and keep my son from tearing down the blinds. If you can try and record the appointment with your phone. I don't remember much of the appointment after the doctor said autism and I really wish I did. 

newbee36

That sucks, I am sorry you will be alone. No matter how prepared you are, it still hurts to hear the diagnosis. That is what happened to me last Wednesday, anyway.
I read the PP that your DH was not supportive about the whole diagnosing subject... I suggest you ask the specialist that are delivering the news to you to record everything.. That way your DH can here from the source, and you will also not be worried if you forgot something they told you ...
Good luck!

algalphys

I was alone with both my boys at DS1s diagnosis of apraxia. I suspected it but I still cried when I got to the car. I hope it goes ok for you...

Princess_Lily

Since last posting, we have decided that bringing both children to the meeting is a viable option, but because of DS possibly hearing all of it (even with distractions), maybe speaker phone is the wiser decision.

DH is scared, I see it in his eyes, but he also knows he needs to be there as well. What implications on DS would this have, to have him attend his DX reveal at such a young age? We plan in bringing distractions, but he may still be in tune to the conversation. How will that effect him?

MirandaHobbes

This was the first year I thought DS might tune into the conversation at his annual dev. pedi checkup. He had just turned 6. He is very smart and knows about his diagnosis but doesn't ask about it or talk about it but for rarely. We were at a playground of another school recently and out of nowhere he asked if this particular school "had programming for kids with autism or not". I about fell over. On the way to the appointment I told him this doctor was a specialist in autism and we were going to talk to him about some of the things that are difficult for him. This was hard for DS to comprehend, because he doesn't yet see autism as a "problem." He did agree that he walks on his toes and puts his fingers in his mouth and we agreed to talk to his doctor about that. I brought distractions but was determined not to let him have my phone during the appointment (my own hangups about being judged by the doctor I guess). DS sat there quietly. The doctor did little to engage DS about much which I found to be disappointing, as auntie said, he could have broken things down for DS. He may have been more open to hearing about them from a real live doctor. We had a lot to talk about in a short amount of time so that was probably part of it. Perhaps I should have given the doctor a heads up about this prior to the appointment. When the doctor came DS scowled and said "the only reason we're here is because I'm walking on my toes and can't keep my fingers out of my mouth." This pedi did announce that he is retiring so I'm actually looking forward to trying one of his colleagues.

As for DH- it was good for my in-denial husband to attend the meeting. He's very much a guys-guy and up to that point it had only been women telling us that there was something wrong with DS, and I think this really bugged DH as his own mom is a total Type A looney. Hearing it from a respected, older, reasonable man-type helped him accept the diagnosis and come to terms with it.

Good luck, I'm guessing it'll go better than you think.

lvisser

McRib said:

I agree with Junebug. Once I was sitting there in the dr office I already knew. Knowing helped kick me in the butt to start moving forward with therapies and drs apts.

Omg this. Totally this...

Princess_Lily

Well, this morning I found out our local rec center with his old preschool teacher heading it, has a summer camp that runs until a pickup time 6pm!

Looks like everything is working itself out. I'm not ready to have him at the apt, b/c I need room to concentrate and ask questions.