Is it better

holliberry28

Is it better to be reserved and keep things to yourself, or allow yourself to be read like an open book?

If there are those who feel like they divulge too much to your friends or family, what have you learned from that process?

NorthEastScottishBride

Keep my business to myself.

Cythe

I'm an open book, but my friends and family are relatively not invasive. Its definitely a personal choice.

holliberry28

With me, it might be a self-esteem thing or a need to be validated, but I find myself being like an open book. I know (cognitively) that I should keep things to myself, but I want to just spill everything all. the. time.   Advice on how to keep it under wraps?

BabyCowbell

DarcyHermione said:

I'm generally an open book if people take the time to ask, if not I'm reserved. It varies some depending on the group of people or person though.

This is me too. I don't volunteer much info but when people ask, I have very few secrets.

jennycam

Depends on the issue and the audience. I've personally learned be because I'm Italian and hot tempered to reserve it....for those who really deserve it.

Wine&Cupcakes

I'm an open book. I just don't care. That being said, if I do keep something to myself, it's usually pretty significant. I'm just not very private about most things but wish I were better at keeping my mouth shut.

That being said, people often tell me secrets and confide in me, and i likely think its because I'm so out there.

~Mrs.Wise~

I'm pretty out there now, mainly because we've been married 8 years, don't have kids and we both love kids. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out there must be a problem. I usually don't share specifics unless family or friends ask. Strangers get straight up lies because chances are if you don't know me and you're asking about my baby maker, you aren't the most tactful individual and you're about to say something stupid that is going to ruin the rest of my day.

pmreed79

DarcyHermione said:

I'm generally an open book if people take the time to ask, if not I'm reserved. It varies some depending on the group of people or person though.

This is me too.  I tend to share a lot with the people I am close to and ask about me.  In big groups I am more reserved and don't say much.  I am also a terrible liar, so trying to evade questions or keep things in doesn't really work.

SpartanChick88

jennycam said:

Depends on the issue and the audience. I've personally learned be because I'm Italian and hot tempered to reserve it....for those who really deserve it.

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This describes me perfectly

Ladymouse

I write novels from time to time, so this is a pretty perfect analogy...  There's the novel (if the real thing were published as a serial).  Then there's the outline, the back story (scenes that are written but not put into the narrative), chapters in progress, chapters that were cut out in hindsight, information that has never been written, etc.  Sometimes I ask my closest friend or a parent to help with the outline.  DH gets to read the back story and the in-progress novel and help outline.  Most people just see the pertinent chapters or scenes.  A few people read the whole thing.

(Edit: random wrong word.)

SayAnything84

I divulge a lot, but only with certain people. With most people I stay in the 'keep it to myself' camp

momtosam

With our first pregnancy, I told only a handful of people. I was diagnosed with a miscarriage weeks after learning I was pregnant. It was an oops, so it took me almost 2 weeks to tell my SO. (Which he shocked me and did not freak out at all. It was the day I knew I would one day marry him and we are now married.) Anyhow, it was a very traumatic miscarriage for me, and looking back I wish we had told at least our families, so they could support us. Even if they did not agree with the choices we made. I came clean to my mom the day after I delivered, which was 3 months from when I was first diagnosed, because I needed support. She was upset I had not talked to her about it sooner and wished she could have been there to support me from the beginning. Very few people to this day, know I had a miscarriage and was ever pregnant before we had our son. 

When we got pregnant with our son, I was hesitant to tell people. For fear of another miscarriage and having to constantly tell people that I miscarried. This time we told our families after the first appointment/ultrasound. But did not make a public announcement till I was closer to 15 weeks along. But all those who were close to us, knew I was pregnant by about 10 weeks. I wanted support in case of another miscarriage, but did not want to have to deal with announcing a miscarriage to everyone if it happened again. 

This time we will do the same plan. I will tell close friends and family early on so they can support us. But not do a public announcement until into the second trimester. 

It really is up to you as a couple. Some share from the moment they have a positive test. Others never really do a public announcement. Some do not share with family till they begin the second trimester. Completely up to you and your comfort level.