How to tell you sibling about baby?

melszum

Any thoughts on how to tell my 2 year old he has a brother or sister on the way in a way he might understand? We are thinking of getting some books from the library to read to him about becoming a big brother. Other suggestions would be appreciated! Thanks!

TeamR625

I bought a great book called One Special Day. It's all about a boy named Spencer and compares him to animals (he was loud... Loud as an elephant, etc), but at the end he is gentle because now he is a big brother. My son is two and he LOVES it!!

Emerald27

I've taken DS (2.5) to my ultrasounds, and we have some books. I tell him that baby brother is growing in mommy's tummy, and he kisses my tummy, etc.

I would start talking about baby brother or sister, telling DS casually about babies (they cry, they need to be snuggled a lot because they're used to being snuggled in mommy's tummy, they wear diapers, etc.), and include all sorts of things that baby won't know how to do that DS can teach him/her. My DS' favorite thing is trains, so we tell him a lot that he will need to teach LO all about trains.

We're planning to have a gift for DS from the baby for when we come home, and a bag of goodies/activities for him for while I'm in the hospital. I'm also going to take him to build a bear to make himself and his little brother bears, so he gets a bear and has a present for little brother too.

These are the books we have:

What Baby Needs, William Sears
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0316788287/ref=pd_aw_sims_7?pi=SL500_SS115

Baby, Come Out!, Fran Manushkin
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1595726616/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1405984721&sr=8-1

AppleGrapeMSTK

We introduced the concept of a baby in my stomach as soon as we knew I was pregnant.  He knows where the baby is and will lift my shirt and kiss my bump.  

He doesn't understand the concept of a brother, I don't think, but he already has a much older sister, so he gets the idea of a sibling in general.  The boys will be sharing a room, so we have talked about how the crib is for baby Solomon, and I've shown him pictures/video of women nursing so he knows where the baby gets his 'juice', etc..

DS1 has had trouble with S sounds, but he said Sol this weekend!  I burst into tears, of course, because I thought it was the cutest thing.  Now that he's got the name down, we've been using the name exclusively instead of just saying "baby."

ladybug0088

The book idea I think is great! It also helps if you explain (over time) that the baby doesn't come out immediately ready to play tag, etc. So really understanding that the baby won't be a "playmate" immediately is a bit of a learning curve. 

The more you slowly talk about it the better. I like the idea of calling the baby "his baby." That's so cute! 

Arctic_Seal

We talk about it and have all the way through.   I think there is some concept that there will be a baby around.   She has suddenly started wanting some baby things, etc.   Also, we have good friends that recently added a 4th child to their family so I think she compares a new baby to that.

The one specific thing I have done with her is watch a few of the "what to expect" by week videos with her.

meggiev123

DD is only 18 months, so I think she still doesn't really understand what is about to happen.  In the beginning of the pregnancy I'm pretty sure she thought that "baby" was an alternative word for belly button. Now she'll touch my belly and say baby, and give the baby a kiss, but I think she does it just because we do.

Until a few months ago we still often referred to DD as "the baby", so we've been making an effort to stop so she doesn't feel like she's been supplanted once LO arrives.

wildflower75

My 16 mos old pats my bump and says baby all the time. We also read her Big Sister Books.
Here are two articles I found helpful in regards to siblings...

https://www.beautythroughimperfection.com/2013/04/02/5-ways-to-prepare-your-toddler-to-be-an-older-sibling/

https://www.perpetuallynesting.com/2011/02/03/preparing-sibling-for-new-babys-arrival-some-thoughts/

MrMrsandBaby

@mrscjmb9410 - "snuggle your baby" may be the cutest thing ever!

We have been telling DD about the baby's room, that there is a baby in my tummy, we nicknamed the baby Phoenix so she talks about baby Phoenix too.  Pretty sure she thinks it is in her tummy though!  Overall, we are just trying to talk about the baby.

We do have one issue, both DH and I call her "baby" a lot.  I try to stop but I just can't...it comes out without even thinking about it.  So that will be something we need to work on in the next couple months.

SusieBW

We haven't gotten any books, but we've been talking about Baby Brother with DD all the time since the A/S.  We waited until we knew if it was a baby brother or baby sister before we even told her. 

We have friends who just had their second child last year, and we started out explaining that "just like Riley has a baby brother, you're going to have a baby brother, too."  She gets it, but like someone else said, she sometimes needs reminding that babies don't arrive ready to play, and that baby brother won't be able to play with her until he gets bigger.  But DD still talks about sharing her toys with him, and helping to feed him and change his diapers and everything.

We've also assigned her responsibilities for when he gets here.  First, while DH and I are at the hospital and she stays with Nana and Papa, she has to make DS his birthday cake or cupcakes (her choice, and she can pick what flavor and what frosting).  And then she can bring it to him at the hospital, but she also has to help by eating his piece for him, because babies are too little to eat cake.  Second, she has a favorite pink blanket and she wants baby brother to have one like it, only blue, so that's going to be her birthday present for baby Brother.  She's going to help DH shop online for it and order it, and then help wrap it for him, and then she gets to help baby brother open it, because babies are too little to unwrap presents.

Maggie6424

I got the little critter "new baby" and big brother books. He really likes them. I always refer to the baby as HIS brother. He knows where the baby is, but I don't think they fully understand at this age until the baby is here.

SusieBW

We point out babies in stores or whenever we're out, too.  To try and help DD get an idea of how small Baby Brother is going to be.  We warn her about a lot of what's coming, too.  Babies cry a lot, and they can't talk, and they can't even hold up their own head at first so they always need to be held so carefully, and Baby Brother is going to need mommy to feed him at first, so mommy will have to spend a lot of time with him . . .

Emerald27

@MrMrsandBaby‌ I call DS "my baby" and "my boy" all the time! I used to worry more about it than I do now, because I had so much trouble training myself not to call him those things, and I figure they'll both be my babies/boys. DS will always be my baby - so I hope he doesn't mind sharing the title too much!