Do you still find yourself getting jealous?

Jenniii

I'm pregnant from my 6th round of IVF - first using donor eggs. I am over the moon excited and am not at all bothered by the DE aspect of the pregnancy.

Yet I still find myself getting SO JEALOUS of friends who have these great fert rates and so many embryos and frosties and twins and etc, etc, etc.

How can I let go of this? I am right where I've always wanted to be and I hate that I still have these feelings.

Margritli

I am terrified of losing this pregnancy, because it took us so long to get here. There are a lot of people (or at least, it seems that way sometimes) who easily got pregnant on the first round of IVF. While I am happy for anyone who gets pregnant after dealing with IF, it is sometimes really hard not to feel jealous, because it took us four transfers to get a BFP. We had good retrival numbers and a great fertilization rate considering our DX, but that none implanted until our most recent FET says something about the quaility. I guess what I am trying to say is that you will always feel jealous about someone having it "easier" than you, but things aren't always how they appear. I am always so grateful every single time I am puking my guts out right now, because it means that I am pregnant, a fact for which I am so thankful. I don't think most people who don't struggle with IF feel this way and I know that if I had gotten pregnant right away when we started trying three years ago, I wouldn't have felt this way either. So yes, there is an aspect of jealous, which is residual from dealing with IF, but I think that there is something to be said for it giving one a true sense of thankfulness.

Margritli

And p.s. many, many congratulations to you.

formerwigirl

First of all many hugs. 6 rounds of IVF, I can't imagine what you went through. I feel like I constantly deal with this and I am just trying my best to deal with each new announcement. I live in a neighborhood that is right by an elementary school and a lot of homes were built in the last few years. We've had 5 babies born last year with 4 currently pregnant. Someone said to me "well there must be something in the water." To which I responded, "well it must have missed our house." I haven't found it has gotten easier, but I am hoping when LO gets here it will. Like I said thought I can't imagine what you went through so I hope things get better.

Mrs.McIrish

I'm finally pregnant from my 8th round of IVF and also donor eggs (4 of 8 rounds were DE so even DE was hard for us). I totally know where you are coming from. The infertiles amongst the infertiles. I think we just have to focus on the good news that it finally worked. I am so overjoyed that both of my girls are healthy (we had anatomy scan today). But yes, I eye roll a lot when people claim their pregnancies were hard to come by.... It usually was a way easier road than I had and know others who are still fighting with even more cycles/time than me. Someone else always had it worse, right? Congrats on your baby!!!

beachy6

I think it's completely normal. I spent 10 years being jealous of everyone else and it's hard to just let that go, even though I'm quite obviously pregnant myself. I'm not sure if this ever goes away.

SKLH

I'm pregnant from my 5th embryo transfer and even though I'm one of those poeple who has frosties, I find myself jealous over different aspects of the process. I know it's one thing to be jealous over fertiles getting pregnant whenever they freaking want but like you, at times I find myself being jealous over other IF girls. When I see girls that went through IVF to get pregnant on the first round and hthen have a natural pregnancy after that it is hard for me to take in considering I had to have both of my fallopian tubes remove dand that will NEVER happen for me. IT's just hard to not compare your "story" to others. I try to focus on the fact that I'm here now and I am in a MUCHHHH better place than I was after 4 failed embryo transfers. I had hope and excitement to be pregnant compared to the total dispear I was in during all those embryo transfers. Hang in there! Congrats to you!!

lincoln79

I don't think I will ever be comfortable around pregnant women. It just hurts too much. We are incredibly grateful to our GC, but it will always hurt that I couldn't carry our child.

I thought about joint the July check-in on the IF board for this cycle, but after noticing that nearly all were IVF #1, I just knew that it wasn't for me.

On my best days, it bothers me only a little. But on my bad days, I am not happy with the jealousy I have.

: (

ksgsmu

very normal    I see pregnant ladies and I think "bet it was easy for you"... now I am totally presuming obviously and have to remind myself I don't know other peoples struggles but still think it.

I was at my RE's today getting bloodwork and a lady brought in an infant and was cooing all over him.  I was enraged!  I  forgot I was pregnant and so hurt she was even there much less rubbing it in in front of everyone sitting there!