A call from my darling mother...

CML11

So my mother calls today to let me know that she told her pastor that I'm "infertile". I really don't appreciate that term, it's so harsh.

She discussed my infertility (or infertileness) and he told her that when he was on a missions trip to some 3rd world place they had him pray over the women in the village, and miraculously now they all all pregnant. AND someone in the church last year had him pray over her womb twice and now she's pregnant with twins.

She wants to drag me in there so he can pray over my womb. Seriously. I'm so frustrated right now that she's told my sister-in-law, all her work friends, her boyfriend and now the pastor of her church(those are just the ones I know of). Awesome. I had her give me my IUI trigger shots a while back (she's a nurse), so I let her in on our secret. What was our secret. She's been cut off.

All I keep thinking is now that we are doing IVF (which I haven't told her), doing a slew of injections, pills, ultrasounds and blood work monitoring, he's going to swoop in and take all the credit for a BFP.

Ok, almost feel better. Thanks for letting me rant.

tlc35

Ugh, I'm sorry that is really irritating.

hooligans4

First of all, hugs to you for being put through that.
Now on to your mother! How dare she discuss something so personal with all those people. The first thing I would do is tell her how hurt you are that she did that. I am not a very religious person so that might be clouding my judgement but under no sircstances would I let her priest pray over my womb. That's crap. It's like saying you aren't good enough in gods eyes to be a parent until this priest says a prayer over your belly. Crap!!!!!!

I agree cut her off from all future info and tell her to stop discussing your fertility with the world.
You will have your baby because you made it happen.

I will give you more hugs!!!!!

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URMySunshine77

I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that. I hope that she can respect your privacy in the future.

meredithcarole

I am so sorry she disregarded your feelings and trivialized your journey in that way.

KateLouise

Wow that is all kinds of crazy intrusive.

I am religious, but even I would be hesitant to have a priest pray over my belly. I might feel differently if he asked if I would like him to pray WITH me. But that would be MY priest making a private offer to ME based on information I shared with him, and the relationship we have. Not a stranger.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Regardless of what spiritual beliefs you do or don't have, no one should be intruding on your privacy like that. And I can't quite get my head around your Mum being so blatantly open about her lack of discretion, as if she is in the right.

kelley72

I'm so sorry for her invasive behavior.  I wish you well on your journey, no real experience/advise just support for you!

lgsdesigner

While she might feel like she is helping by having the pastor pray over you, she really REALLY should have kept her mouth shut and not told half the world about your fertility issues.

It hurts the most when it’s a family member doing something like that…someone you really trust.

Honestly— I wouldn’t go to the pastor. Your fertility is YOUR business, and your mother needs to learn to respect that, and realize what she did was wrong.

 

I am so sorry!

Davie813

Ugh--I am so sorry. I would be furious too.

Are you going to agree to the womb-prayer, or say no?

mindaa

So sorry. Yeah, I've had a hard time talking to my mom about TTC also, partly because her over-sharing. It's frustrating because I know her intentions are good and wish our relationship could be different. 

Like KateLouise, I'm also a believer. I've received TTC-related prayer... but it was a personal decision between DH and I.

TAT2MAMI

Oh Em Gee .. I would be so thoroughly annoyed by all of this! I am so sorry! I agree that you should communicate to your mom how inappropriate it was for her to share your personal business with random people. And sadly, I guess you'll have to pick and choose what you tell her.
Feel free to vent anytime. I hope you're feeling better!

CML11

Yeah it wasn't a nice thing to hear. I know somewhere in there she means well, I just she just doesn't understand privacy boundaries. I know she's like that, but being that she's a nurse, I was hoping for some discretion.

No, I am definitely not going to allow some pastor I've met a few times on Easter pray over my womb. I'm somewhat spiritual ( I don't go to church often, but I have my beliefs) but that just makes me super uncomfortable.
@JimBobCooter‌ lol "open my womb to Jesus" that's so weird!

Oh yes, to make my night even worse, my sister-in-law skyped to say she's expecting #2. I put the happy face on and then balled after we hung up.

Thanks for your support ladies, it really helps.

TAT2MAMI

@CML11 - Sending you a big hug! I'm sure that really sucked to hear from your SIL! Ugh.. Gag! My mom just told me over the weekend that there is a rumor circulating that my TRASHY cousin might be pregnant with her 4th child. She is in her early 20's and has 3 children who she doesn't take care of. They are infested with lice and my aunt does what she can to help take care of them. She has them all living in someone's bedroom! She had an abortion last year and God knows how many others. Probably doesn't even know who the father is!
Sorry.. I've been needing to vent that out!
Hopefully, your mom learns from this and she never does it again. Hope you're feeling better today!!

CML11

@TAT2MAMI‌ that's horrific! So unfortunate for those poor kids. I'm sorry