I'm sad that there is nothing I can do...(NSAIFR)

kmc84 · July 2014

I'm not sure what the point of this post is.... I'm so devastated for my friend and her family....

The Jer. sey Ci. ty officer that was killed this week was her cousin

he was such a nice guy; so young. It was such a senseless, Fing stupid crime and such a devastating loss for her family..... I just wish I had anything to say except 'I'm sorry'. I have dealt with all kinds of losses through personal experience or with friends and family, but nothing like this....

Any suggestions?

mnj05 · July 2014

I'm sorry to hear this, it's so tragic to lose someone in that way. I always have a hard time too coming up with something to say that's not the same old thing the family hears from everyone else. I would probably just let them know you're there for them in any way they need you, whether that's emotional support or helping with day to day things so they're not overwhelmed. One of my closest friends lost a family member last year and I had the type of relationship with her family where I could just stop by their house and do a load of dishes or laundry for them, help pick up the house if needed, make a meal, or take care of pets. I know not everyone has that type of relationship with every friend though.

MJC1116 · July 2014

I'm so sorry. My brother is a police officer and I couldn't imagine. They are so brave and selfless.

I agree with PPs that meals or helping her around the house or with kids is such a sweet gesture. When my dad passed, I was in such a state of shock that truthfully I can't remember any phone calls or conversations. I do remember feeling very touched that people took the time to call or come by the house to bring food for my mom and me. But the one thing that really resonated with me was when people sent cards with messages of love and prayers written inside. I didn't have to deal with the face to face response and I didn't have to open them until I was ready.