Sometimes I yell...

jobiann

So I'll admit it, I've been known to yell at my precious mostly innocent 19 month old little guy. I just get really frustrated sometimes with J. I don't do it every day, mostly around meal time when J will throw his food, or smash it together and make a mess, or not eat. My H called me out on it the other day, and I'm so thankful. I knew I didn't feel good the times I've yelled at our son, but I didn't realize anyone else really noticed. 

H sat me down and told me that he remembers his father YELLING at him and his brothers all the time. That yelling was the only way his father communicated and it made him feel terrible as a boy. He said he loves me, but he wants to help me figure out another method to letting out my frustration. So....I decided to make a conscious effort to not yell. I have honestly become a lot happier, I feel more in control. And I hope I've nipped it in the butt before J gets old enough to remember.

I found a really neat website that I thought I would share just incase anyone is in the same boat. It's kind of a difficult boat to admit to be in....but apparently I'm not alone. 

https://theorangerhino.com/

Happy Friday ladies!

RN2011

yeah, definitely not alone.  That's where most of my frustrations come from with DD as well.  Being a mother has taught me to be more patient but I still have my moments.  Thanks for sharing!

AshleyDehaven

You're not alone. I went through a really emotional time where it felt like almost every day i would snap for a few seconds over something, just being overwhelmed, and then feel even more awful. My H never said anything, because he IS a yeller, his whole family is. But it bothered me, so i made a decision to work on it. I have found new ways of dealing with his needs, moods, and actions, and when things get to be a little much, i put him in his pack n play, and take a few minutes in the other room to cool down, then try again. My dad yelled. That was the only way he knew how to deal with us. I don't want that for DS.

ReeceFamily

mj0011 said:

I just wanted to say I think it is great how you were able to talk it out with your husband, I know it isn't easy to hear those sort of things and props to you for listening and making a change.

This.  You are an awesome mom!

jjdillie

Thanks for posting! You are certainly not alone. I sometimes yell at DS and then feel like sh*t after. I know for me, it happens when I feel overwhelmed. Since I'm a single mom there's no one else to take over when I get to feeling this way. I've been trying to make more of an effort to not get to the yelling point. I'll definitely check out the website. 

JJsMum

I think at some point, everyone yells.  It's when it becomes constant that something needs to be done.  I'm so glad that your DH called you on it.  I've been getting really bad about it in the last couple of months, but it wasn't until I acknowledged it that DH, my mom, and my best friend all confessed that they were worried about me.  

I'm also glad you've been able to put a stop to it yourself, but if you ever feel like you're struggling against the urge to yell (or just feeling angry) all the time, mention it to your Dr.  I've actually been put on an (very low dose) anti-depressant and that has helped in so many ways!  I've always tended towards negative thoughts and emotions, never really thought that was depression, it's just how I've always been.  I wish my friends and family had mentioned something to me, and that I'd spoken to a dr a long time ago.

ambmama

I yell occasionally and I hate it. It's usually when I'm really frustrated and nothing has worked. I'll try nice words, stern words, questions, gestures - and in a last attempt I'll yell. The worst part is he always, always listens when I yell so I can see why it would become a habit. I try to keep myself in check and always say sorry to him if I get to the point of yelling, but really there's no excuse. Thanks so much for posting this.

court115

You're definitely not alone. I don't do it often but I do yell sometimes and I feel awful about it. It's something I need to work on so thanks for the link!

this decaf life

I also think everybody yells at some point. I try not to but when it happens I don't worry too much about it because I apologize and let her know I shouldn't do it and that sometimes frustration gets the best of us. GL

jobiann

Thanks ladies, I kind of posted this last week and then got really busy (see post I'll do here shortly). So thank you for the support and kind words. I know I'm not alone and I know there are far worse things to do at a child then yelling...but I didn't feel good about it at all. 

This weekend when I was frustrated I simply took a very deep breath...quickly thought how bad I felt in the past when I'd yell and turned it into a positive situation. Things are a lot calmer and I'm a lot happier. 

I just knew I wanted to nip it in the butt before it really affected J. I'm hoping I have not done it enough that he won't even remember any of it. 

DCKate

Agree with everyone who suggests you apologize when you do it. I think it makes such a string statement when parents apologize. I have only raised my voice a couple of times (mostly when she's pulled away from me in our parking garage and there are cars) but I still feel terrible when I do!