am i over reacting?

Leahandshaughn

So I'm 7 weeks pregnant and I couldn't help myself to tel a few close people the happy news. I'm not going to make the big announcement to everyone until my first trimester is over but I couldn't help myself. I lost my first lil one back in march after 3 years of trying so it was really hard but I'm not trying to dwell on that loss. so I told my best friends and all of them are super excited for me! one friend even said wow your got pregnant fast! that's wonderful! I feel so blessed having great friends like them.

I also started to tell select family member and told them to kep the news to themselves. my future sister in law (Also my best friend) was so happy and excited! My brother on the other hand said " don't get to excited cause you can lose this one. I can't handle seeing you like that again"  I'm like WTF! why would you say that! getting excited or not I'm going to act the same cause its the loss of a child, why not just be happy for me!  so my DH broke down and told his mom last night and he looked at me and said "oh you'll keep this one" again WTF!! I'm so mad that them right now I can't even express! they are making me feel broken and that I can have children cause I lost one baby! I'm so unbelievably mad at them right now! 

So I want to tell my dad but now I'm scared I'll get the same damn reaction from him as the other two... am I over reacting? what would you do? cause right now I don't want to se my mother in law or brother for awhile..

DenaMaree

I wouldn't say your overreacting, but unfortunately we can't keep people from opening mouth and inserting foot. All you can do is throw it back in their faces when you continue to grow a happy and healthy little one and continue so celebrate the precious life you created. Not enough people comprehend what we are going through with the challenges of fertility and then to have to loose our precious angels. This is why it's so great to reach out to the lady's here for support. Take all the time you need to away from your MIL and Bro!! Stay strong Ma Ma!! Good Luck!!

carlsonbaby2014

First off ((((hugs)))).  I'm so sorry their comments were hurtful to you.  I think know some people speak before they think.  It's unfair when we have to navigate through those insensitive comments because none of us asked to be in this position, and I think most, if not all, of us would agree that being PgAL is an incredibly fragile state.  When we allow ourselves to start to feel excitement and it isn't reciprocated by others - that can be really hurtful.  I would take everything in stride and continue to do things at your comfort level.  Remind yourself of the mantra that the outcome of a previous pregnancy does not dictate the outcome of this pregnancy and that today you are pregnant!  Don't let others take away the joy of sharing your good news. That's just my two cents.  More ((((hugs)))).

Mom2anAngel2

So many people say stupid and insensitive things without thinking about how it may hurt someone else. I still have not told ANYONE at 14 weeks, so I guess I shouldn't talk, but I tend to lead off with a statement. I often say 'we are do excited to be expecting again, but of course we are nervous due to our past losses.' Most of the time it turns off a comment before someone has the opportunity to make it. With DS we told our family around 12-13 weeks. I'm not sure why I can't bring myself to say anything yet this time, but DH is really itching to tell people.

Anyway, to answer your question, no, you are not over reacting. It hurts when people say these things to you. I hope you get better responses in the future, especially from your dad.

chicagojackie

I think you have learned that you can't tell people until you're ready for almost any answer

People say a lot of rude stuff. I'm sorry!

2redtulips

I don't think you're overreacting, and I am sorry they were insensitive in their comments. {{hugs}}

Danielle0311

You are not overreacting! The things people say can be so hurtful this is why we only told a few ppl this time and will tell the rest after the first trimester! Try not to hold it against them I really don't think people mean harm, they really just don't know what to say. ((Hugs))

Samuelismomma

No advice . Except for the ladies here and mom,sister, we have told no one and I'm almost 14 weeks! I don't think your overacting, some ppl don't think before talking congrats on your pregnancy and h& h 9 months:)

Bigboneded

Sorry they hurt your feelings, you are justly angry with them for saying stupid stuff. And it sounds like they didnt mean to be stupid. But you should definitely take the space you need to feel calm. I like PPs comment about telling with the statement about excited and nervous. ...

Izzy0927

My father in law reacted in the same way. I was feeling really confident about this pregnancy, and hearing that from him sucked all the joy from it. I feel so jinxed now. No advice other than try to have a thicker skin than I do, but lord knows that is easier said than done. I'm happy to commiserate with you. It sucks when people don't respond the way you want.

Eliz77

I won't say you are over-reacting because you clearly were hurt and offended by the comments. I think this may be a case of people not know the right thing to say. Your brother may be protective of you and not wanting you to be hurt. Your MIL may thought she was giving you reassurance. Loss is hard, and when someone hasn't been in that situation, they sometimes just don't know what to say, and want to say something, then end up saying the wrong thing. 

I think, in these particular instances, you're better off not letting those comments get to you, and just move on. It doesn't sound like either were purposely trying to hurt you.