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Late Term and Child Loss
Manada
member
Intro - premature twin loss.
Manada
member
Hello,
Today marks one month from the date our twins were both born and passed. Our beautiful baby girls, Tavin and Casey, were born at 21 weeks due to premature rupture of membranes (PPROM) and a chorioamniotic infection.
There was virtually no warning before Baby A's (Tavin) water broke at 6:30am that morning, and it happened following a positive appointment the day before. When the water broke (or exploded, as it forced its way past the cerclage that had been placed 2 weeks before due to IC concerns), Tavin's cord prolapsed and the cervix dialated 3 cm. Both babies were still alive at 7:30 am, and Tavin didn't pass until between 4:30 and 5:30pm that afternoon. She was born still at 9:30 that evening. Her sister Casey was born alive at 10:00pm that evening, and lived for about an hour and a half while we held them both, took pictures, and sang and talked to them. They were absolutely beautiful, and much bigger than the average 21weeker at about 400grams each and 25 cm long.
Our twins were conceived after 18months of infertility treatments. My partner @healz413 and I both have serious IF diagnoses and have been active on the IF, PAIF, and LGBT Parenting boards here (among others). @healz413 will probably weigh in with more about our story, and there is quite a bit more, but there is time for that too.
We are still figuring out how to pick up the pieces after losing our babies. We were so close to our goal of making it to that first viability date for them, and thought for sure we would make it there after the cerclage was showing that it was holding. I am still in shock I think, especially around some of the physical happenings of the birth.
We have been incredibly grateful for the support of our friends and family who have spent time with us over the past month and keep us company by crying with us and providing distraction when desired. Our Bump friends as well did an online vigil the week after our babies were born, and also took up a collection to help us with our food and practical needs; the outpouring of community support has been incredible, and I am grateful for those who are keeping us and our babies in their hearts and thoughts.
H has returned to work part time, while I am still off for awhile. We miss our babies fiercely, and every day we are faced with the space their loss has left in our hearts and dreams. I am beginning to realize that this is a hurt that won't ever disappear, but one that we will learn to live with... We are still trying to figure out how to live again. It feels scary and unknown, and we are glad we have each other left in this as well as resources like this place where we can feel less alone.
Thank you all for being here, and for sharing your stories and experience. Tavin and Casey were so wanted and wished for in our lives, and we are so glad for the time we had them and wish it was much, much longer. We love them both so much.
Today marks one month from the date our twins were both born and passed. Our beautiful baby girls, Tavin and Casey, were born at 21 weeks due to premature rupture of membranes (PPROM) and a chorioamniotic infection.
There was virtually no warning before Baby A's (Tavin) water broke at 6:30am that morning, and it happened following a positive appointment the day before. When the water broke (or exploded, as it forced its way past the cerclage that had been placed 2 weeks before due to IC concerns), Tavin's cord prolapsed and the cervix dialated 3 cm. Both babies were still alive at 7:30 am, and Tavin didn't pass until between 4:30 and 5:30pm that afternoon. She was born still at 9:30 that evening. Her sister Casey was born alive at 10:00pm that evening, and lived for about an hour and a half while we held them both, took pictures, and sang and talked to them. They were absolutely beautiful, and much bigger than the average 21weeker at about 400grams each and 25 cm long.
Our twins were conceived after 18months of infertility treatments. My partner @healz413 and I both have serious IF diagnoses and have been active on the IF, PAIF, and LGBT Parenting boards here (among others). @healz413 will probably weigh in with more about our story, and there is quite a bit more, but there is time for that too.
We are still figuring out how to pick up the pieces after losing our babies. We were so close to our goal of making it to that first viability date for them, and thought for sure we would make it there after the cerclage was showing that it was holding. I am still in shock I think, especially around some of the physical happenings of the birth.
We have been incredibly grateful for the support of our friends and family who have spent time with us over the past month and keep us company by crying with us and providing distraction when desired. Our Bump friends as well did an online vigil the week after our babies were born, and also took up a collection to help us with our food and practical needs; the outpouring of community support has been incredible, and I am grateful for those who are keeping us and our babies in their hearts and thoughts.
H has returned to work part time, while I am still off for awhile. We miss our babies fiercely, and every day we are faced with the space their loss has left in our hearts and dreams. I am beginning to realize that this is a hurt that won't ever disappear, but one that we will learn to live with... We are still trying to figure out how to live again. It feels scary and unknown, and we are glad we have each other left in this as well as resources like this place where we can feel less alone.
Thank you all for being here, and for sharing your stories and experience. Tavin and Casey were so wanted and wished for in our lives, and we are so glad for the time we had them and wish it was much, much longer. We love them both so much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,
Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.
Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>
7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013. Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.
My Love: (the amazing @Healz413)
Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012. Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.
Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos. 1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved. BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255. Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!
We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014. Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies. We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.
queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,
Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.
Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>
7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013. Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.
My Love: (the amazing @Healz413)
Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012. Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.
Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos. 1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved. BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255. Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!
We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014. Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies. We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro - premature twin loss.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
Asher born February 5, 2011.
Baby #2 born sleeping at 20 weeks. May 6, 2014.
TTC since 10/2010
IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
Too beautiful for this earth
BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
I'm @Manada's partner @healz413. From lurking here, I know that not many (if any) partners of the people who were actually carrying the pregnancy post here, but I've been active on the Bump since we started trying.
As M mentioned, we both have major infertility diagnoses that led to a complicated journey to pregnancy before our loss. I have severe stage IV endometriosis that led to both of my tubes being removed a bit over a year ago. M has diminished ovarian reserve. After a number of failed IUIs, we ended up getting pregnant with our wonderful twins by doing IVF with my eggs and with M carrying.
M told the basics of our story but I wanted to add my voice as I will be posting here as well.
Thank you for welcoming us.
We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.
Our IUIs
with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.
Our IVFs:
IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response
IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
1st ultrasound (3/6 6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm.
***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***
FET #1 December 2014
NTNP 2009-2012 TTC since 2012:
Jack has handpicked his sibling up there
My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog
I am so so sorry to welcome you both to this board. I have seen your posts on the IF board and the PAIF board. Dh and I also traveled (and are still traveling) the difficult road of IF and lost our son due to PPROM/IC/infection after many failed IUI's and a finally successful IVF.
I hope that you are able to find support here in addition to the other outlets that you have. You will all be in my thoughts and I hope you find peace and healing
TTC since 2008
Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!