Late Term and Child Loss

Intro - premature twin loss.


Today marks one month from the date our twins were both born and passed. Our beautiful baby girls, Tavin and Casey, were born at 21 weeks due to premature rupture of membranes (PPROM) and a chorioamniotic infection.

There was virtually no warning before Baby A's (Tavin) water broke at 6:30am that morning, and it happened following a positive appointment the day before. When the water broke (or exploded, as it forced its way past the cerclage that had been placed 2 weeks before due to IC concerns), Tavin's cord prolapsed and the cervix dialated 3 cm. Both babies were still alive at 7:30 am, and Tavin didn't pass until between 4:30 and 5:30pm that afternoon. She was born still at 9:30 that evening. Her sister Casey was born alive at 10:00pm that evening, and lived for about an hour and a half while we held them both, took pictures, and sang and talked to them. They were absolutely beautiful, and much bigger than the average 21weeker at about 400grams each and 25 cm long.

Our twins were conceived after 18months of infertility treatments. My partner @healz413‌ and I both have serious IF diagnoses and have been active on the IF, PAIF, and LGBT Parenting boards here (among others). @healz413‌ will probably weigh in with more about our story, and there is quite a bit more, but there is time for that too.

We are still figuring out how to pick up the pieces after losing our babies. We were so close to our goal of making it to that first viability date for them, and thought for sure we would make it there after the cerclage was showing that it was holding. I am still in shock I think, especially around some of the physical happenings of the birth.

We have been incredibly grateful for the support of our friends and family who have spent time with us over the past month and keep us company by crying with us and providing distraction when desired. Our Bump friends as well did an online vigil the week after our babies were born, and also took up a collection to help us with our food and practical needs; the outpouring of community support has been incredible, and I am grateful for those who are keeping us and our babies in their hearts and thoughts.

H has returned to work part time, while I am still off for awhile. We miss our babies fiercely, and every day we are faced with the space their loss has left in our hearts and dreams. I am beginning to realize that this is a hurt that won't ever disappear, but one that we will learn to live with... We are still trying to figure out how to live again. It feels scary and unknown, and we are glad we have each other left in this as well as resources like this place where we can feel less alone.

Thank you all for being here, and for sharing your stories and experience. Tavin and Casey were so wanted and wished for in our lives, and we are so glad for the time we had them and wish it was much, much longer. We love them both so much.
queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.

Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

My Love:  (the amazing @Healz413)
Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  


Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!  

We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014.  Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies.  We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.


Re: Intro - premature twin loss.

  • I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad you've had amazing support. 
    Your love comes through in your post, and your girls felt that.
  • I'm sorry for your incredible loss.  Your daughters are clearly loved.  I hope that we can be another source of support for you - these ladies have been amazing in helping me through my grief.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girls.... I love their names. (((huge hugs)))

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        My Blog

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our rainbow!!

    **All AL Welcome**

  • I am so very sorry to welcome you here. I am sorry for the loss of your precious daughters Tavin and Casey. I hope you can find comfort from the amazing women on this board. ((Hugs))
  • **ticker warning**

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your twin girls. I love their names.   I lost my twins just 10 days shy of viability.  Please feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk. Sending love and prayers to you and your family. 
  • Welcome to the board.  I love the names you chose. Our loss was a little over two months ago at 20 weeks and they suspect it was also due to PPROM. They think I may have been slowly leaking over a period of time. I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughters an hope you find comfort and support here.

    Asher born February 5, 2011.

    Baby #2 born sleeping at 20 weeks. May 6, 2014.

  • ***ticker***

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet little girls. 

    Lilypie - (qptF)

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    "Elsie Irene was born sleeping at 35w 6d on December 8, 2012. Mommy and Daddy miss you sweet girl."

  • I'm so sorry for your losses.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • I'm very sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girls Tavin and Casey; such lovely names. We hate to "welcome" new members, but welcome. This board has been a huge source of support to me since our loss. You are not alone here--please reach out if you need anything. ((hugs))

    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • VyD81VyD81 member
    *siggy warning*

    I'm sorry for the loss of your babies, Tavin and Casey. 
    Ticker id: ra2f

    BFP #2, EDD 12/26/14, please be our rainbow.

  • I am so sorry for the loss of your Tavin and Casey. We hate to welcome new moms to the board, but know that we are here whenever you need us.
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • MeNVMeNV member
    sig warning

    I am so, so sorry for the loss of your precious Tavin and Casey. 
    Baby Boy - 03/29/10
    Baby Boy - 08/02/12
    Baby Girl - 04/19/14 Missing her everyday.

  • *Ticker warning* 

    I'm so sorry for the devastating loss of your beautiful girls Tavin and Casey. I lost my twins Max and Molly at 22 weeks 3 days because of IC. It's been 2 and a half years and I have learned to live with the pain but I will never ever forget them. 

    I also went through fertility treatments and went through another round of IVF. I became pregnant with twins again 6 months after my loss and then had a Trans-Abdominal Cerclage.  My second set of twins are now 18 months old. I know you may not be ready for all of this but I just wanted you to know that there is still hope for a happy life, although it will take a lot of grieving and time. 

    I'm thinking of you and your H. I hope you can find a few moments of peace and that your hearts can begin to heal. Please PM me if you ever want to talk. 
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IVF #1 BFP b/g twins!; loss at 23 weeks due to I.C. and PTL. IVF #2 BFP 5/26/12; due date 2/6/13; TAC surgery 7/20/12, blessed with another girl & boy! 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet daughters Tavin and Casey. I hope you'll be able to find support here.
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
  • Hi everyone. Thanks for welcoming us.

    I'm @Manada's partner @healz413. From lurking here, I know that not many (if any) partners of the people who were actually carrying the pregnancy post here, but I've been active on the Bump since we started trying.

    As M mentioned, we both have major infertility diagnoses that led to a complicated journey to pregnancy before our loss. I have severe stage IV endometriosis that led to both of my tubes being removed a bit over a year ago. M has diminished ovarian reserve. After a number of failed IUIs, we ended up getting pregnant with our wonderful twins by doing IVF with my eggs and with M carrying.

    M told the basics of our story but I wanted to add my voice as I will be posting here as well.

    Thank you for welcoming us.
    ****loss discussed*****

    We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.

    Our IUIs
    with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

    Our IVFs:
    IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

    IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
    BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
    2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
    BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
    1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 

    ***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***

    FET #1 December 2014
    Intralipid infusion on Dec 10. Transfer of 1 day 3 nine-cell embryo into my uterus on Dec. 19. (acupuncture immediately before and after)
    BFP on Dec. 27; Beta 1 Jan 2 (14dp3dt): 665, Beta 2 Jan 4 (16dp3dt): 1859, Beta 3 Jan 6 (18dp3dt): 4449, Beta 4 Jan 10 (22dp3dt): 12,251.

      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Manadamsunshine123[Deleted User]
  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful babies. I hope this board helps you both as much as it has helped me and many others.the women here are a wonderful support system. Lean on us whenever you want. Again my condolences to you.((Hugs))
  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughters. I hope that you will both be able to find comfort here. It's a great place to find help and support and the ladies are wonderful.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I'm so so very sorry for your losses, I remember you both from the IF boards. I'm hopeful that time brings you two peace in this tough situation.
    Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
    NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
    • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
    • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
    • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
    • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
    • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

    Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

    My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

            Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 


                                                                              Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


  • VyD81VyD81 member
    *siggy warning*

    I'm sorry for the loss of Tavin and Casey. 
    Ticker id: ra2f

    BFP #2, EDD 12/26/14, please be our rainbow.

  • Sig warning****

    I am so so sorry to welcome you both to this board.  I have seen your posts on the IF board and the PAIF board.  Dh and I also traveled (and are still traveling) the difficult road of IF and lost our son due to PPROM/IC/infection after many failed IUI's and a finally successful IVF. 

    I hope that you are able to find support here in addition to the other outlets that you have.  You will all be in my thoughts and I hope you find peace and healing <3

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    TTC since 2008
    Dh:34, no issues.  Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
    4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
    Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
     6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
    1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized.  2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
    Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
    2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!!  5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP!  Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9  Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2  Beta 3  14dp5dt: 497  Please be our sticky rainbow baby!

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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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