Just saying hi!

MagicInk

So we're not pregnant now, and we're not even trying to get pregnant, but we've been talking about babies and such and FI has been very clear that she wants to have an all natural at home water birth. I've never wanted to get pregnant, but I always figured if I did, I'd be in a hospital drugged up to the gills. But she's the one getting pregnant, and I'm gonna support what she wants. 

Overall home birth doesn't worry me really. We live by at least 4 or 5 major hospitals, all within 3-5 minutes of us. We've already met with the midwife we'll use and she's been a this for awhile. FI is healthy and as long as everything goes well with the pregnancy (once we actually start trying to get pregnant), a home birth should be fine for FI.

But..I feel kind of freaked out by it. But I'm not sure why really. I'm not sure how I'll handle seeing FI in pain, or if I'll just be in the way. Then I start worrying about what if she doesn't get the birth she wants, and how will she handle that. But I'm also excitied by it. Because it's cool. What women can do is cool. I don't want to do it, but I acknowledge it's one of the cool things about us.

Oh, actual intro, I'm Fiona, she's Sophie, we're getting married 11/1 of this year, we've been together a decade, we're going to use a known donor and hopefully knock my wife to be up at home. 

workmm01

Welcome and good luck

sschwege

Welcome!  

Some would argue with me, but I think in a way it must be harder on the support people.  Physically of course it's harder on the one giving birth, but emotionally it must really take its toll on the SO.  The second time around I had DH and my mother in the room.  My mother told me later, "I just felt so bad for you!" I didn't feel bad for me, truly, it's challenging but manageable.  I would suggest considering two things 1) take a class, we did Hypnobirthing which we loved, but other people speak highly of Bradley and Hypnobabies.  2) consider hiring a doula, someone who can help you help your partner.  We didn't have one, but as one of my MWs told me, "It's the best money you will spend"  The more you read and learn less worried you will be!

 

aboodtobe

Congratulations on your engagement! How exciting!

I agree with @sschwege that it can be harder for the support person than for the pregnant woman. My husband was super confused as to why I wanted to have a natural birth at home. In fact, he didn't even realize that was an option any more! (He thought is was so "old-timey")

However, once I explained the reasons why I wanted a home birth he was totally on board. I think what is the most frightening are the "what ifs." He had many "What if this or that happens...?" To be honest, for me, it was a cost-benefit analysis. The benefits of a home birth far outweighed the benefits (or possible interventions/complications) of a hospital birth. 

This is a highly personal decision, so my only suggestion is to make sure you talk out all your questions and concerns. I know that regardless of what I chose for a birth method I wanted my husband to be able to be there for me and to support me. Plus, telling our midwife that this freaked him out a bit was great because she was able to explain things much differently than I could. Sometimes hearing it from someone besides your SO can also be very reassuring!