Help!

csnyder1116

Hello! I'm new and need some advice. Bh and I have been trying for three months to conceive. No luck thus far. He now has decided that he isn't ready to have children or even if he wants any at all. We both come from large families. There are five in mine and eleven in his. I really want a large family. We both are in great careers. I'm a hair stylist and he works in the oil industry. We make above average money and he is afraid that we won't have enough money. He keeps coming up with excuses and I don't have any idea on how to confront him about how I feel.

cateyes543

Have you sat down with him and looked at budgets and numbers and shown him how it would and could work? If so and he is still hesitant,  there may be more to him not wanting kids besides money. Don't push him, if he wants them he will come around. 

Bee1112

Wait until he's ready?

KingLED

I suggest words. Open communication is the only thing you can do. Talk openly and let him know how you feel and ask him how he feels. Sit down and make a rough budget to see how it looks. People get nervous and need to back up for a bit. It happens. Just talk to him without pressuring him.

StikierIten

Waiting sucks, especially when it's not your ball in your court. We have been married 7 years now, and it was very difficult to to realize that if he was not ready, WE weren't ready. When my feelings would come up and I would be jealous of others having kids knowing we had been married longer, I would cry to him and he listened. I had to do that too when he was concerned about money and respect that. Sometimes I had to not say anything because pushing the issue made it worse.

He may be overwhelmed from the negative results too! He cares about you after all so I'm sure seeing you dissapointed is hard. It's not all duckies and bunnies trying to actively plan stuff. Try a couple days without discussing it, the answer will come around.