Things You Wish You Would've Known (IVF)

Bandy514

We still have a few weeks before we start our first IVF cycle, but I was just wondering for those of you that have already been through an IVF, is there anything you wish you would've known before you started or any helpful tips?

Thanks a bunch! 

mm29

I wish my REs would have performed a more thorough work up, including karyotyping and genetic testing. We wouldn't have spent so much time with both mine and my DH's own eggs/sperm.  It was after our fourth attempt at IVF (counting our canceled cycle) we found my DH had a Balanced Translocation (BT).  We learned BT increases risk of chromosomally abnormal embryos and increases m/c risk.  We would have moved to DE and/or DS instead of wasting all the money for those cycles. 

katib77

I wish I had known and planned ahead that I would not have the energy to cook for like two weeks (week before ER through ET and a few days after). I could have made more prepared meals.

I wish I had blogged a little more about everything the first time, so that for my second round I'd have more to look back on and compare.

I wish I had bought more yoga pants so I didn't have to wear my two pants three days in a row each - ewww LOL

LO95

katib77

I haven't started my meds yet, but your comment got me to thinking about work clothes.  I am a teacher so it's great right now, but we'll back in a month and I'm wondering what effect the medication has on your body/ clothing choices. I don't want people at work asking if I'm pregnant.  Any tricks for this?

sweetpotato123

Trust your doctor and nurse. Stay off Google. Do a big house cleaning before you are too far along with stims. Make some freezer meals or buy easy to make items. Loose clothing will be your friend. Good luck!

AMShark

sweetpotato123 said:

Trust your doctor and nurse. Stay off Google. Do a big house cleaning before you are too far along with stims. Make some freezer meals or buy easy to make items. Loose clothing will be your friend. Good luck!

Amen to all of that, especially "Stay off Google."  Seriously, at this particular time in your life, the 

Google is not your friend.

I wish I had known that running out of meds was a possibility.  (It looked like more than I could ever use when I was unpacking the box).  I was lucky that my RE was able to "loan" me a vial of Gonal F, but I wish I had known in advance, so I didn't have my full blown panick/breakdown when I realized that a) I would be short and b) there was not enough time to receive new meds by mail.

Also, I wish I had had known that stims would never be as hard as they were the first day I did them.  They got much easier as time went on, and I was more scared than I needed to be.

Oh, and I wish I had prepared myself more for eating like a PG person during the 2WW (and potentially, beyond).  Caffeine, cold cuts, soft cheeses (non-pasteurized), certain fish, ... it takes a little planning to change your diet if you've been making turkey sandwiches for lunch for years. 

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MrsRedVelvet

I haven't posted in a long time (mostly lurking now, siggy totally out of date) but feel after 3 years of TTC and 4 fresh IVFs/1FET/1 Cancelled cycle/1 CP/1 ectopic and an upcoming out-of-state FET at the end of this month, I'd like to pass on some knowledge as I know it would have helped me at the time:

- After ER, be prepared to look pregnant and gain weight.  I gained 12 lbs (about 10% of my body weight) after this last round but my E2 was >6000 (we froze all and CCS tested) and we got 18 eggs.  Even after undergoing 3 previous fresh cycles, this was the most amount I gained and I was really depressed that I looked 5 months pregnant after IVF.  I ate salty foods to pull the salt back into my bloodstream and increased electrolyte liquids (Gatorade light) to help decrease it.  As said before, stretchy pants are your friend.

- My egg quality issue....not saying you have/will have this.  However, I feel like I wasted time at my first clinic (who sucked) then went to Corn.ell and finally wound up at C.CRM.  I should have done 1 fresh local cycle and being that I only ever had 1 blast to freeze previously, should have went straight to C.CRM whose lab was able to produce 6 for me this time.  You really need to be picky about centers known for their labs when egg/embryo qualitiy issues are known.  I feel like IVF#1 (hopefully you only need one!) should have been my trial and error and not wasted another 1.5 years.

- Save all your receipts for tax reimbursement.  I received a nice refund last year by having mine organized and validated for my CPA.

- Be prepared to re-order meds (I think this was mentioned) during stimming if you go longer than expected.  Since we did out of state this month, we only booked our flight one way to avoid change fees.  We still had to pony up the extra money for more meds though.

- Your veins may crap out on you.  I have so much scar tissue now, but even during IVF#1, I remember it becoming more and more difficult to draw as I neared ER.  They used my hand for the anesthesia line.

- A heating pad feels nice after ER.  You should avoid heat on your abs after ET though.

- Keep a drug administration log.  I recorded my starting dose amount in Follistim, dose amount administered and balance so I knew how much I had left. 

- I like information, so I also tracked my E2 levels, follie size/count and lining.  I was a good responder so this helped me feel more secure on progression but I could imagine doing this for a poor responder may only cause them more stress.

- Most of all, I wish I wouldn't have been so optimistic about IVF#1 working.  I was devestated when it was a BFN.  I though IVF was the solution to our TTTC problems.  Being on IVF#4, I feel a bit silly now.  Have hope, of course, but also be realistic (sorry, hope this doesn't sound too jaded   I just wish those starting out on their IVF journey realized it could take more than 1 round).

- Be kind to yourself - you're going through alot right now :-)

Hope this helps and best of luck.  

LO95

AMShark Wow! I wouldn't have really thought about not eating those things.  Is that because your RE wants you to eat as if you are successfully pregnant or is there another reason to avoid those things? 

denbk

I wish I would have asked our RE more questions.  Been more prepared food wise (menu plan, shopping, freezer meals etc.. ), joined this board months prior as I've learned so much from all of you ladies, ate a higher fiber diet (the stims and anesthesia causes severe constipation and it is so painful). 

@katib77 I TOTALLY AGREE!   Today I am on Day 6 post transfer and today is the first day I can zip up my dress pants.   I looked 4 months pregnant come ER and even worse the days following.   

STRETCHY PANTS!!!! STRETCHY PANTS!!!

@georgie314 I agree with you on ER as well.  I was so un-comfortable the day before and just couldn't wait for them to take those follies out to only feel 100 times worse the following day.  I can't believe you worked a 13 hour shift. 

kellilehr

I wish I wouldn't have been so optimistic about IVF #1 working, it has taken a lot out of me emotionally when we lost the baby at 10 weeks. This time around, we are more realistic and know what we are getting into. The med side effects take a lot out of you if your drug sensitive like I am, you feel pregnant after ER, take it easy after transfer and ER, know your limits, I over did it and was exhausted after working all day. The bruises from blood work get harder and harder to draw because you have so much scarring or bruising that they run out of spots to draw from, plus it's hard to hide the bruises if your not telling people what you have been trying to do. I was super constipated after ER, which required a stool softner per the doc .And the most important part is, stay positive and stay away from stress.

pblge

I wish I had gotten a therapist who specialized in infertility in place at the outset. It just takes so long to locate a good therapist of any kind, especially one with specialized knowledge. We're not "out" about this, so the rough patches are really rough, and having support in place in advance would have made the process a lot easier.

Agree with the constipation. Also agree with PPs about getting to a high quality clinic sooner rather than later. Also agree about reasonable expectations. So many people don't have success with the first round of IVF, and those BFNs (or worse) are just devastating.

I WISH I could know if there was really any effect from anything I ate or drank. If someone could tell me that I could either eat whatever was comforting, or just stop wondering.

Aimothy

LO95 said:

I haven't started my meds yet, but your comment got me to thinking about work clothes.  I am a teacher so it's great right now, but we'll back in a month and I'm wondering what effect the medication has on your body/ clothing choices. I don't want people at work asking if I'm pregnant.  Any tricks for this?

I wore lots of dresses. Nothing tight on my belly...but it wasn't "new" clothes that would throw someone into thinking I had a reason to "need" new clothes. 

Oh and yoga pants. They are your friend.

zeynsom

I do not produce too many eggs and do not have PCOS so I was not bloated during the stims or after ER. But my gallbladder hurt like hell during the stims and about two weeks afterwards. I did not have a gallstone or any prior problems but apparently my gallbladder was a bit too sensitive to the max dose of hormones I was getting. I got it checked with an ultrasound and bloodwork but it turned out to be nothing. Next time I'll be more prepared.

Also, my RE allowed a 8oz coffee for me everyday, even after ET. However, I was trying to be very careful and cut out caffeine completely. It sucks when you do that suddenly. Lupron was giving me headaches and not having caffeine did not help.

I do not like to drink water too much but I was so very thirsty after ER for about 10 days. I had to get gatorade to keep myself hydrated. They will tell you to drink lots of gatorade.

Acupuncture helped a lot during the process. I was always very tired during the stims, so it was helpful to take a 45 minute nap, while hoping that there is a chance that those needles help your IVF process as well. 

No alcohol and no workouts etc. may mean that you may need to lie to your colleagues and friends time to time. Knowing that I always drink at least two glasses of wine when we go out, my friends were sure that I was pregnant. My to go lie was that I was on antibiotics and could not have alcohol. 

Lillovebug79

I wish I had known that the Lupron was going to make me feel like I was going through menopause all of a sudden! I was restless at night, hot flashes, night sweats (dripping wet night sweats), mood swings, anxiety, headaches, and a rash at the injection site. Not that this happens to most people because it doesn't but I wasn't prepared for it and I wish I had been.
I was also terrified of ER and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined. I was glad that I took the following day off because I needed it! I was really sore.
The absolute hardest part of it all for me was waiting for my daily call from the embryologist. I was a nervous wreck. I felt like I left part of myself in the lab and I was praying for each of my little embies constantly. It was really hard.
Definitely plan a lot of things to keep yourself distracted in the 2WW, it will be the hardest one ever!

blueeyes233

Progesterone has the same side effects/symptoms as pregnancy.  Don't start looking for pregnancy symptoms bare days after transfer, its the progesterone (I know this one causes a lot of grief). 

I was really sore from the ER and needed two days off work to recover and start feeling normal again. 

Anesthesia causes constipation.  Take a stool softener before ER and probably for a few days after, it will get uncomfortable.  

That my med doses would change almost daily depending on my blood work results.  

That it might not work the first time and that I needed to keep my expectations reasonable.  

Stay focused on your relationship with your DH, its important not to forget about the guys and the stress they are going through as well.  

That the first shot is by far the worst, only because I had it so built up in my head that it would be a traumatic experience.  It took me 45 min to do the 1st shot.  

CMH25

The process works! Research the doctor and clinic. Once you gain confidence in them, trust them, trust the process, let them do their job and worry for you. Easier said than done, I know. But that is what I wish I knew. . GL!

Lillovebug79

Also, I wish I had known that putting ice on the muscle for 5 minutes before the PIO shots helps so much!!!! It seriously makes a huge difference, sometimes I don't feel it at all! I didn't read that in my instructions until after the 1st one.

gnl42

I wish I had realized that things can get delayed or cancelled at any point in the process. Starting IVF can be very exciting, but it can also be very frustrating and disappointing along the way if things don't go as planned.

LeggyJeggy

I wish I had done my shots myself from the beginning. It took me, my H and my sister to prep for the first little lupron shot over a year ago. I was a mess. I hate needles.  But after 2 IVF's, I realized my H was awful at giving me the shots.  It hurt every time.  He was just too nervous.  It stressed him out because he knew how much I hate needles.  When I did it myself (or when my sister/mother/friend did it), it didn't hurt. Now I just think, "it's a tomato!" Yes, I practiced on a tomato, don't judge me.

I wish I knew it wasn't going to be easy like we were told in the beginning since we were MFI.

Book vacations anyways, but maybe around potential future cycles.  And get the no questions asked insurance policy if it applies (ask specially for it, it's usually not the basic one!).  

If you're lucky to have insurance coverage, don't expect them to cover everything.  And just because they cover it for one cycle, doesn't mean they will the next.

Don't do anything in the 2WW that you would regret if you were to get a BFN.  I struggled with picking up our 18lb puppy the 2 times I had to during that time, when I know it was not that.

If you feel like you are not getting the right attention or that your RE/clinic is not experienced enough with your issue, then switch RE/clinics.  Get multiple opinions.  Sometimes the second opinion isn't any better.

Question everything (within reason).  And follow up with approvals frequently.  I call almost every day until my cycle gets approved and with the pharmacy I use now, I do call daily to get an update.  I feel like otherwise, it can get lost or delayed another cycle.

Relax.  Try to combat any anxieties as they occur.  Yoga, walking and laughing help.

Definitely stay off google during the 2WW.  It will not help any.

Try to laugh during times of stress.  It's a stressful time, but you're trying to make a baby, with like a bunch of other people that you've just met and may never meet again!

I keep track of my E2/follie sizes/counts so I can compare with how I am doing with respect to previous cycles. It helps keep me hopeful, usually.  I wish I did that better with my first cycle.

AMShark

LO95 said:

AMShark Wow! I wouldn't have really thought about not eating those things.  Is that because your RE wants you to eat as if you are successfully pregnant or is there another reason to avoid those things? 

If all goes as planned, then you actually will be pregnant after ET.  

I know - It blows the mind to think that's a possibility after years of failure, but its true.

StacyLH24

I posted this several weeks ago, but as a FYI, if you put pressure on the site of your blood draw for 5 minutes after it is done, it should not bruise.  I made it through my stimming without the slightest hint of a bruise.  

ronniesgirl1981

The days between ER and ET are the worst!

CML11

This is really great info, I feel like I want to book mark it so I can keep referring back. Great thread! Scary, but very helpful info!