I'm a hot mess!

AnnaClaire256

I was watching old reruns of Sex & The City the other day (I've seen every episode from all 6 seasons like 100 times) and I re-watched the episodes where Charlotte suffers a miscarriage and struggles with IF.

Now, 20 year old me watched these episodes and thought, "aww, poor girl...that's terrible" but 29 year old-IF warrior-me BAWLED LIKE A FLIPPIN BABY. I'm talking ugly cry.

Same thing with Jason Aldean's "Laughed Until We Cried"

"my mind went back to a few years ago...we tried so long we almost gave up home and I remember you, comin in and tellin me the news...."

I've heard those lyrics 1,000 times but it came on the radio the other day and hit me like a ton of bricks.

Has IF has just turned me into a big ole wuss? Anyone else have songs/movies/shows with IF themes that totally caught you off guard? It seems like every time I turn around there's another "trigger". Hopefully y'all handle your shit better than I do!

wanderlust508

Aww @AnnaClaire256 - I so get it!  I was a big SATC fan back when it was airing.  I was always told I was "such a Charlotte" (haha it seemed like so many fans of the show felt compelled to identify you as one of the characters).  And it's ironic now because nearly 10 years later (after the show ended) I'm battling IF like Charlotte did.  I was 24 when the series ended and like you, I remember feeling so sad for Charlotte but it's much different now.  The other day I watched an episode where she got a call from her RE that none of her eggs had been viable for IVF.  She went for a run and met a lady in the park with all these dogs - and just ended up crying saying "I'm sorry.  It's just I'm trying to have a baby and it's not going very well."  I started tearing up for sure!  

Also on the show "Friends", Monica and Chandler battled IF.  I recently re-watched the episode where they found out (and cried).  And a later episode where Chandler is trying to convince a birth mother to give them her baby for adoption.  He says "My wife, she's already there.  She's a mother.  She's a mother ...without a child.  Please help us."  And that line totally made me lose it!

ashtownyeah

Yup, yup, yup. I recently watched the whole series (I had never watched it all the way through, just random episodes here and there), and I was a fucking mess. Charlotte is my fave!

AnnaClaire256

@amylev80‌ I hear ya! I can't keep it in check for the most part...but on clomid week? Forget about it!

@kkeglar13‌ @EastBayBride508‌ your friends references gave me goosebumps! I haven't seen those episodes in years...I'm sure they would be so much different to watch now!

@ashtownyeah‌ I love Charlotte too! started watching about halfway through the series and then bought the box set years ago. I've had a few SATC marathon nights!

@Buttmonkey34‌ "I won't give up" is my husbands alarm clock song. He says it reminds him of us. I hear it like 3 times a day (he's a serial snooze button hitter). Now I'm going to think about IF when I hear it lol. Uh-oh...DH is gonna need to pick a new song

AnnaClaire256

@Buttmonkey34‌ don't feel bad! No worries!! Lol I was just giving you grief. It hardly ever makes it to the words anyway...I just a few chords before whacks the snooze button!!

theholmanherd

There are so many things I notice more now that I'm going through IF. Like the movie based on that pregnancy book. What to expect, I think? One lady struggles for years with IF and another girl has a miscarriage. First time I saw it, not a huge deal. I felt bad she lost her baby, but the IF stuff didn't even phase me. I just thought she was funny. Now, I cry through half the movie. UGH.

AnnaClaire256

@LLM100811‌ I've never been a crier either...this wet stuff coming from my eyes is kinda foreign to me!! Maybe it's the struggle...maybe it's the hormones...probably a little of both!

AnnaClaire256

@theholmanherd‌ I forgot about that movie! Didn't it have JLo and Cameron Diaz in it?? I think DH and I saw it at the drive-in movie years ago! I bet it would be soooo much harder to watch now!

AnnaClaire256

@iPutKetchupOnKetchup‌ I almost watched it the other day but remembered your warning and chose something else! Thanks for the heads up!

TiffW2012

***Child Mentioned***

I've always been a pretty emotional person, so I can start crying pretty easily.  For me, there hasn't been any song/movie/television show to make me cry (yet), but sometimes my mind will get to me and I'll just be driving down the road and it will hit me like a ton of bricks and I'll just start crying.

My sister had a baby in December, and I love that little girl so much.  My family knows we are trying, and over the 4th of July, I was playing with her in the back room with and my sis says "I can't wait until you have one."  I had to really hold back the tears.  My sister meant no harm, and I wasn't mad about her saying that.  It's weird what hits me.  I can talk to her about our IF issues with no problem, but once there is actual talk about us having a baby, I get emotional.

cupcake122

As a "Carrie" myself, I always watched the Charlotte IF struggle and thought "wow that's awful but has nothing to do with me". Don't get me wrong, it was emotional and I felt awful for the character but it was just so far out of any realm of possibility. Hell, my best friend needed one single round of clomid assistance to conceive and even that seemed like an impossibility for my life. "not me" I naively thought.

Now I cry constanlty. The friends episodes murder me. The What to Expect movie was torture. Especially how Elizabeth banks says lets take a break from trying and do IVF if a few months and then gets KU on a drunk roll in the hay while in public.

There are just so many triggers lately.

bravegrace22

AnnaClaire256 said:

I was watching old reruns of Sex & The City the other day (I've seen every episode from all 6 seasons like 100 times) and I re-watched the episodes where Charlotte suffers a miscarriage and struggles with IF. Now, 20 year old me watched these episodes and thought, "aww, poor girl...that's terrible" but 29 year old-IF warrior-me BAWLED LIKE A FLIPPIN BABY. I'm talking ugly cry. Same thing with Jason Aldean's "Laughed Until We Cried" "my mind went back to a few years ago...we tried so long we almost gave up home and I remember you, comin in and tellin me the news...." I've heard those lyrics 1,000 times but it came on the radio the other day and hit me like a ton of bricks. Has IF has just turned me into a big ole wuss? Anyone else have songs/movies/shows with IF themes that totally caught you off guard? It seems like every time I turn around there's another "trigger". Hopefully y'all handle your shit better than I do!

Oh you are SO not alone with that song! Every. Freakin. Time.  I feel like I have a bunch of triggers, some random, some regular. This is perfect that I happened upon your post right now because i just saw a commercial for teen mom 2..idk if you watch at all..i did with the original a few years ago and i just can't take janelle. the fact that she already has one kid that she chooses not to take care of, had an abortion, and apparently just had another baby sends me right over the edge. IF crazy bitch me is like "why isn't there a law in place to require women who have already proven to be unfit mothers to be on bc??" humph, not fair *foot stomp. My moods due to IF pity triggers clearly range from "my dog just died" to "i'll cut a bitch". 

bravegrace22

kkeglar13 said:

@llm100811 I saw that dog thing too! I didn't know they would show it being put down!!!! I wept like a friggin baby!!!

LLM100811 said:

I can't believe I cried for that long, and then I just laid on the floor with my dogs and snuggled them until they couldn't take it any longer!

ugh same here, ladies! not really IF related that time..more asking my dog to never grow up or get sick because i don't want to ever go through losing him. my best friend who has a 3yo border collie mix (aka my hank's gf) asked me about a month into having him if i ever thought about 'old man hank'. i was like, please, i still can't believe that i just committed to the next 10-12 years. And then the first time he got sick, just a little stomach bug, I was bawling and wondering how on earth i would be able to get through it after years of having him. 

wanderlust508

@packerfan4life‌ - I know, that line just really got me too! I think it so accurately describes so many women who are going through IF.

And that Grey's episode would make me cry too!

bravegrace22

P.S. don't watch best man holiday totally wan't expecting that..

brijen44

yes! Today I was at Walmart-WALMART- and was completely caught off guard by my reaction to the huge group of girls at the doors, doing a collection for kids who can't afford school supplies. I was all choked up and immediately gave them all the cash I had left in my wallet. When DH came out of the store I could barely tell him what happened because I almost started crying! WTF hormones!?

Waterlily234

Tangent, but anyone remember the SATC episode with Miranda and her lazy ovary? How she was concerned that her fertility was compromised, and Charlotte made some half ass comment about her tilted uterus, and Miranda was like shut up Charlotte...it strikes me ironic that Charlotte was one that ended up with IF, and Miranda had Brady. It really reflects IRL friends and how things end up totally unlike how anyone predicted.

AnnaClaire256

@WaterLiIy‌ reminds me of an IRL situation I had. I have a friend who had some endo issues a few years back and had to have surgery. Everyone in our group was allllll concerned she wouldn't be able to get pregnant. Turns out, she and her H got pregnant their first month of NTNP.

Now that I am having some serious IF issues, people in our group try and say, "well (friend) had infertility issues and it all worked out for her"...."look at (friend) miracles can happen."

Ummm, no. Not the same. And I resent them referring her issues as IF. She never even got a BFN.

Waterlily234

Totally! A friend of mine keeps doing that too...relating HER friend's sitch to mine...(totally unrelated issue aaaand they got pregnant right away)... B* please. One gynecological hiccup does not IF make. It's so hard to not be IF crazy, and sad, and bitter. I would like to get off this train! Sigh.

cupcake122

@AnnaClaire256‌ I've never got a BFN and I consider myself as having if.
I have had so many if issues that I haven't gotten far enough along to even dream that I could test. Just because someone doesn't get a bfn doesn't mean they aren't dealing with if. Some peoples bodies don't do the bare minimum to be able to even do TI

AnnaClaire256

@cupcake122‌ your situation is clearly different then what I'm talking about. The friend I am talking about (who happens to be my very best friend) never had any IF issue. She had endometriosis...that was cleared with surgery. She ovulated regularly, had normal cycles and got pregnant the first month they even half tried.

I realize I might have worded that funny originally. All I meant was she didn't even have one month of trying under her belt...never experienced TTTC in any way.

cupcake122

@AnnaClaire256‌ no worries, just wanted to point out how someone could have if and no bfn
I do completely understand what yore saying- it's miserable to have people who don't understand try to relate or give you advice.

I have a friend who just told me to "take a couple of months off" from the re and see if I ovulate on my own. Honey if it hasn't happened in years by itself, a couple of months isn't going to heal anything