Advice - Illness and Visitation

justbreathe510

I just wanted a few opinions and wasn't sure who to ask since I don't like posting my boyfriend's and my personal business in places like Facebook.

My boyfriend has four children with his ex-wife. We have them every other weekend. Yesterday, she contacted us to say the kids have come down with Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease. It is highly contagious and the CDC recommends that you stay home when you have it (you are contagious for a week) and also states that in some cases it can result and hospitalization and even death. To add to this, my son is a micro preemie who was born at 24 weeks and obviously has a compromised immune system.

Are we being unreasonable by not wanting to take the children when they have something like this? I understand that both parents should take care of the kids when they are sick and we do take them regardless and we normally do, but this isn't just any illness.

flerlgirl

If you could arrange to switch weekends or something, I would. I see what you're saying about making sure everyone gets to see the kids but I think switching this time would make sense. Hope everyone is feeling better soon.

flerlgirl

And if you do take the kids, just be diligent about hand washing, keeping the baby away from germs, etc

Pips09

How old is your son now? What have they done in the past when the kids were sick? What does the custody order say about illnesses? 

I totally understand not wanting to expose your son, I am absolutely the same way. But these are his siblings, and you can't really keep them away. What I would do depends on your sons age and what is usually done when the other kids are sick.

flerlgirl

Pips09 said:

How old is your son now? What have they done in the past when the kids were sick? What does the custody order say about illnesses? 

I totally understand not wanting to expose your son, I am absolutely the same way. But these are his siblings, and you can't really keep them away. What I would do depends on your sons age and what is usually done when the other kids are sick.

This is a way better answer. Listen to her.

justbreathe510

My son is two. Currently there is nothing in the order about illness and we normally take the kids if it's nothing serious but knowingly bringing four kids with HFMD disease into our home seems irresponsible. We requested to just switch weekends but she's being difficult.

KTZ17

I wouldn't want them around my kid. I do think it's a fairly common childhood illness, but if you can avoid having them around your son I would. If they have to come, could you bring your son over your parents' or a sibling's house for the weekend and your boyfriend could stay with his kids?

justbreathe510

Well, his ex has agreed to keep them for the weekend, but of course not without guilt-tripping him first. I was concerned even about them infecting toys and everything else. So that's resolved, I just wanted other people's thoughts. Sometimes I can be a bit overprotective.

justbreathe510

Thank you

I try to be a good mama and a good stepmama! Sometimes it's hard because I need to protect my son but I also need/want to have my stepbabies with us too

HeavenBlessedMom

Hell no!
If he even agreed to see the children, I suggest you get a hotel room by yourself and stay away until your baby is our of NICU and we'll past his 40 wks.