Parenting after a Loss

Reassurance after loss?

Hi I was wondering if anyone could give me any positive advice? I have 2 beautiful healthy boys whom I had after 2 very uncomplicated pregnancies. Then sadly last year, I lost a baby when I was 18 weeks pregnant. We were absolutely devastated. I am now 12 weeks pregnant and I am so worried every single day!! I've had my booking scan and baby is great. Then a few days ago I started having some light brown discharge which I never had in my previous pregnancies and I totally panicked. I went to hospital and got another scan and everything seems fine but every morning I still have the light brown discharge and it's making me even more worried than I already have been! Had anyone ever lost a baby late on even after having healthy babies and then went on to have a healthy baby after losing their little angel? I need positive stories!!

Re: Reassurance after loss?

  • I don't have any sunshine babies, but we lost our daughter last year at 22 weeks due to an incompetent cervix and then went on to have our rainbow this year. I know spotting is super scary and being pgal is scary enough on it's own, but remember all pregnancies are different and what happened in one does not dictate what will happen in others. When I was only about 5 weeks with my rainbow I got to work and had a huge gush of bleeding and passed several large clots. I was certain it was over....but here we are a year later and our LO is a bouncy smiley 4 month old. When I was pregnant with my angel, I had a total of 4 or 5 spotting/bleeding incidents, a couple as late as early second tri. Yes I did go on to lose her, but they do not think the spotting was related to my loss at all. Spotting can be a sign of trouble, but plenty of women spot/bleed and everything is a-ok. In pgal there are lots of mantras to repeat when you're feeling worried....things like "I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise, Today I am pregnant and I love my baby", etc. They really can help when the negative thoughts take over. Also, is your OB sensitive to your previous loss? They should be doing everything possible to make you more comfortable including encouraging you to call as often as you need for reassurance and coming in to check for heart tones with the doppler. Have you considered getting a home doppler? They're not for everyone, but mine was a complete life saver on days I was especially worried. Good luck to you and congrats!
    Lilypie - (fm2j)

    Lilypie - (YesX)

     My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks.  Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!


  • Thankyou so much for your reply!! Ur advice has made me feel better already and I will definitely try those mantras! Just feel very negative a lot and constantly worried. Don't think I will relax until baby is in my arms! I live in Northern Ireland so I think health care is a bit different here. I called my doc this morning and she has made me an appointment for Friday just to check the neck of my womb and take a swab just to make sure all is ok! Have been thinking about getting a Doppler for home so think I will definitely get one now. Thx again for ur advice :)
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  • edited July 2014
    I'm not on too often anymore but thought I'd reply as something similar happened to me. 

    I had two perfectly healthy pregnancies with my DD and DS. With my 3rd pregnancy, I lost Charlotte at 13 weeks. I was devastated and completely overwhelmed, since I had had two perfect pregnancies before her and there was nothing to indicate what had gone wrong. I now have my beautiful rainbow baby. Cecily was born at 40 weeks and 2 days. The early part of my pregnancy with her, I spotted red and brown. Every little twinge or cramp freaked me out. But I knew that I would regret not loving her and enjoying my pregnancy if something had happened. My faith is the only thing that got me through my pregnancy with C. Reading Bible verses helped a lot, as well as the great community over on Pgal.   ((HUGS)) to you, Pgal brain sucks.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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