Going to lose my mind with sleep training

cowpoly959

So earlier this week my son tried to suffocate himself with his swaddle. No more swaddle. I'm trying to get a routine down and have been working on it for weeks. Been reading lots about sleep training.

How the f do you get a baby to go to sleep drowsy but awake with no paci, no swaddle, etc. I don't want to CIO and it's been taking me two hours to get him to take a freaking nap. I nursed him, white noise, dark room, same routine as usual, house is cool. He just keeps crying. He doesn't "soothe himself" I don't understand how this is supposed to work. I've got arms flying everywhere and he wakes up every 5 minutes.

Sorry for the long post and vent but I don't know what to do. He's ten weeks

Tifers777

We kind of stick to a "routine" as much as possible. He usually wakes at 630-7. Diaper change and bottle. Play for about 30 min then swaddle and rock maybe other half of bottle and then he's out. This goes on all day til about 5. Then he's up until 615 usually then it's bath time. After bath lights go down tvs low and a bottle and bed by 730-8. I've found the more we stick to consistency the better. Also LO used to get out of his swaddle with swaddle blankets so we started using swaddle me's. Best thing ever! Velcro is the best and I can get a tight swaddle. You might seriously want to try those. He will sleep for 1-1.5 hour naps only if swaddled. Hang in there mama!

cowpoly959

He had the Velcro swaddle over his face. We had been using those religiously.

usernewname

Some babies just aren't ready for that yet, or just can't do it yet.

DS has no paci or swaddle. He sleeps on me during the day and in his bed at night. He now sleeps well during the day so one day I will work on him sleeping in his bed. But we aren't there yet.

DS cries himself to sleep every nap. No idea why. Its like 2 minutes and he's out. I had toddlers in my class like that. Some cries then pass out. I did some reading online and some children just get fussy in the drowsy stage because they fight it and want to be up in everyone's business. Its a good thing them being so aware, but annoying for us when they are clearly tired fighting sleep. They tend to grow out of it though, or you can sleep train them when they are developmentally ready for it.

cowpoly959

I know it's early to truly sleep train but I'm worried that I'm creating bad habits and with the whole not being able to use any type of fancy or basic or Velcro swaddle because he gets out of gets it over his face makes me want to try to get him to sleep in a way that he can continue using later on.

usernewname

I struggled with this too @cowpoly959 but with having him sleep on me.

Babies don't understand cause and effect and manipulation til about 6 months. Which is why we can sleep train them then as they begin to understand expectations. So if these habits whatever they are surpass 6 months, then yes there will be some meaning to do.

Good luck, and hang in there!

ETA weaning. Not meaning.

ns1

I see you just posted on my post about the same thing! I feel you on the feeling like you're creating bad habits thing. It's just so hard! I had a really fussy baby for a few weeks and just did anything to quiet him because he's too little to just have at it on his own. Now I think he's used to all that and now that he's less fussy he startles awake easily and expects a three ring circus to go back to sleep about every 10 minutes.

This to shall pass. (I just wish he'd let me get some sleep before I start work next week! )

Jelainey24

DH and I discussed what we wanted to do and not do with LO before he was born... it's been 360 from all of that. We use everything we said we wouldn't, do everything we thought we wouldn't, just so LO can sleep and we can too. 

Mornings after rough nights, I think "I have to be doing something wrong, I'm going to start/stop doing X tonight" and then I read up on infant sleeping some more and have to remind myself, it's too early for any of that. 

It's tough road this being a mommy thing

ns1

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3143253/

I read this the other day and think it might be appropriate here.

Jelainey24

Yes @ns1, that is perfect!

spacepotatoes

Ditto what @florassecret said. If you've been reading up on sleep training, you've probably seen that this is too early to expect them to self soothe.

cowpoly959

@ns1‌ I love you for that! Spot on to why I lost it today ~ too much contradicting advice. Thanks ladies he's finally asleep for a nap and I took a hot shower. Life is better again

hfooter

@anniemore‌ My kid was just diagnosed with reflux (almost 7weeks) and he had all the same things you were describing, but and overall happy baby. So definitely talk with your pedi! I'm hoping the mess help,

usernewname

cowpoly959 said:

@ns1‌ I love you for that! Spot on to why I lost it today ~ too much contradicting advice. Thanks ladies he's finally asleep for a nap and I took a hot shower. Life is better again

Hot showers, ahh. The cure for just about everything! 

cowpoly959

Does anyone use a mobile? I'm amazon shopping and wondering if that might keep his attention while he drifts off. He loves the mobile on his swing and he likes some of the baby Einstein light up toys. There is a baby Einstein ocean thing that clips to the crib and some simple mobiles. Just wondering if anyone has had luck with that helping with falling asleep for naps

Junebug060609

Sleep training like Ferber? Or sleep training like getting him used to sleeping sans swaddle? Babies aren't ready for things like Ferber until around 6 months.

The startle reflex is major at this age. I've found that using my hand and pinning the babies hands down for the transition from arms to crib really helps. The pressure helps them feel secure, and they nod back off. Won't help a later wake up, but should let you get at least a meal or shower in...or best case they STTN.

cowpoly959

Not Ferber, just no swaddle

usernewname

cowpoly959 said:

Does anyone use a mobile? I'm amazon shopping and wondering if that might keep his attention while he drifts off. He loves the mobile on his swing and he likes some of the baby Einstein light up toys. There is a baby Einstein ocean thing that clips to the crib and some simple mobiles. Just wondering if anyone has had luck with that helping with falling asleep for naps

A mobile would distract him further from sleep. I think it would he would just watch that and get more over tired.

That's just how I see it though.

spacepotatoes

florassecret said:

Does anyone use a mobile? I'm amazon shopping and wondering if that might keep his attention while he drifts off. He loves the mobile on his swing and he likes some of the baby Einstein light up toys. There is a baby Einstein ocean thing that clips to the crib and some simple mobiles. Just wondering if anyone has had luck with that helping with falling asleep for naps

A mobile would distract him further from sleep. I think it would he would just watch that and get more over tired. That's just how I see it though.

Agreed. Mobiles stimulate, not soothe.

usernewname

sticky11 said:

spacepotatoes said:

florassecret said:

cowpoly959 said:

Does anyone use a mobile? I'm amazon shopping and wondering if that might keep his attention while he drifts off. He loves the mobile on his swing and he likes some of the baby Einstein light up toys. There is a baby Einstein ocean thing that clips to the crib and some simple mobiles. Just wondering if anyone has had luck with that helping with falling asleep for naps

A mobile would distract him further from sleep. I think it would he would just watch that and get more over tired.

That's just how I see it though.

Agreed. Mobiles stimulate, not soothe.

Yep lo is distracted by her hand, the slats of her crib, the pattern on a blanket. A mobile would be that much worse. Do they make baby sleep masks?



Bahahaha DHL keeps saying ds needs one.

giggler25

hfooter said:

My kid was just diagnosed with reflux (almost 7weeks) and he had all the same things you were describing, but and overall happy baby. So definitely talk with your pedi! I'm hoping the mess help,

@hfooter‌
How was the diagnosis finally reached? I am convinced my LO has silent reflux but so far pedi has written it off BC she's gaining weight and is generally a happy baby. Except when she hasn't slept in SIX plus hours like right now... Pedi basically said that all babies have some reflux but I feel like hers wakes her up!

giggler25

anniemore said:

@giggler25 I would almost consider a new pedi for that type of comment sleep is sooo important yet this attitude of "babies will sleep when they need it" is totally ridiculous, coupled with excusing that reflux is a-ok and fine even though the baby is in pain. 

i'm nervous for my appt on friday because of this.. and esp because when i called the nurses hotline because LO was not getting enough sleep they told me that if he wasn't sleeping he wasn't tired and that i should just put him in a bouncy seat or something. it was so disrespectful for my valid concerns about my child's welfare. if i find the same sentiment with my pedi i will just go forward with his 2 mos visit and then spend the next few weeks finding someone with a more progressive view on infant healthcare. 

@anniemore -- Thank you for understanding me!!  She has slept only a total of 9.5 hours since midnight.  Seeing as it's almost 11pm, that's WAY under what she should be getting in a day.  The odd thing is that yesterday she got 15 hours which is a record high for her!  I usually struggle to get her to get 13-14 in a 24 hour period....  When I asked our pedi about this and how she never gets the 14-16 that I read is appropriate for this age, the pedi said that's an average and she doesn't know any babies this age that get 16 hours of sleep regularly each day.

Ugh, sorry to hear how the nurses reacted to you.  Totally agree that you know your LO the best and if you're concerned enough to call they should give some credit to that.  This is hard.... Good luck on Friday!