Feeling nostalgic

Myaflowers

I've been feeling kind of sad and nostalgic for the last few days when I think about never having another baby again. I think it's a combination of going to the OB for my yearly on Friday and starting to sell some of DD's baby things. I'm pretty much medically OAD and don't really want another newborn... ever. Does anyone else who is 100% OAD (especially those who are medically OAD) sometimes feel sad when thinking about never being pregnant again and never having another baby? I'm worried that this is the beginning of me wanting another baby, and I really just want to be happy with being OAD. 

ETA: wording

JackoftheBox

No advice, but I'm sorry your feeling like this. I'm sure being medically oad makes it 100x worse.

Myaflowers

JackoftheBox said:

No advice, but I'm sorry your feeling like this. I'm sure being medically oad makes it 100x worse.

Thank you! I'm sure I'll get over it soon. My OB's office is at the hospital where DD was born, so that stirs up a lot of good and bad feelings, too. I need someone to smack me and remind me why I'm OAD.

JackoftheBox

Myaflowers said:

JackoftheBox said:

No advice, but I'm sorry your feeling like this. I'm sure being medically oad makes it 100x worse.

Lol
Thank you! I'm sure I'll get over it soon. My OB's office is at the hospital where DD was born, so that stirs up a lot of good and bad feelings, too. I need someone to smack me and remind me why I'm OAD.

I'm willing to smack you as long as you don't get mad afterwards!

Myaflowers

JackoftheBox said:

JackoftheBox said:

No advice, but I'm sorry your feeling like this. I'm sure being medically oad makes it 100x worse.

Lol Thank you! I'm sure I'll get over it soon. My OB's office is at the hospital where DD was born, so that stirs up a lot of good and bad feelings, too. I need someone to smack me and remind me why I'm OAD.

I'm willing to smack you as long as you don't get mad afterwards!

Lol, I won't get mad! DD just pulled out a wad of my hair, so I'm feeling a more OK with OAD for now.

gwendarling

I am OAD by choice and l get super nostalgic and sad when I start thinking about how fast dd is growing up or that we may not have another. I wish OAD wasn't the best situation for us... and I wish I wanted another that badly, it would make this decision easier. but ultimately, for me, in addition to the reasons I listed in my intro, I think the biggest thing is that I'm really mourning the time i wasted when dd was a newborn and infant. and even though ultimately I am even thankful we went through that dark period (because it really made our bond stronger I think), I always think if I could do it again knowing what I know now, I could've done it "right" and maybe enjoyed a dreamy newborn period. but really, I know that our story is our story, and it's perfect for us because it made us who we are today. I'm totally rambling.

Helenahhandbasket

I am right there with you.

STBXH and I have been cleaning out our storage unit and I have been purging baby stuff-- I gave away her high chair, two infant car seats and a ton of clothes and I ugly cried about it.

Ago

Yep, I understand. I am OAD because DH isn't on board with another, but I am closer to terms with that. My thoughts are I wish I had known when I was pregnant that that would be it. Maybe I would have tried to be in the moment more? I think the hard thing was that DH gave away my stuff (crib, cozy coupe, etc.) to a cousin having a baby before I knew he was OAD, so I thought I would get the stuff back. As dumb as it sounds, I wanted to "say goodbye." I still need to get rid of my maternity clothes.

jellybean529

Ago said:

Yep, I understand. I am OAD because DH isn't on board with another, but I am closer to terms with that. My thoughts are I wish I had known when I was pregnant that that would be it. Maybe I would have tried to be in the moment more? I think the hard thing was that DH gave away my stuff (crib, cozy coupe, etc.) to a cousin having a baby before I knew he was OAD, so I thought I would get the stuff back. As dumb as it sounds, I wanted to "say goodbye." I still need to get rid of my maternity clothes.

This is me, 110%. Even though i had PIH/pre-e and complications related to that, I really, really wish I had known that this would be it. 

Also, DD being six has been a smack in the face, big time. She does all this stuff now...like this morning I got a shower, got out, and she was dressed, shoes on, hair brushed, and ready to go without any help. She also told me exactly what to pack for her lunch and why. She's a full fledged kid. There's no baby left in my house. I kinda miss having one around.

ETA one of my BFFs is due this week and she lives 1500 miles away. I should be visiting her sometime this fall (they're moving a little closer -- about 600 miles) and I want to snuggle her baby!!

hopefulmom81

gwendarling said:

I am OAD by choice and l get super nostalgic and sad when I start thinking about how fast dd is growing up or that we may not have another. I wish OAD wasn't the best situation for us... and I wish I wanted another that badly, it would make this decision easier. but ultimately, for me, in addition to the reasons I listed in my intro, I think the biggest thing is that I'm really mourning the time i wasted when dd was a newborn and infant. and even though ultimately I am even thankful we went through that dark period (because it really made our bond stronger I think), I always think if I could do it again knowing what I know now, I could've done it "right" and maybe enjoyed a dreamy newborn period. but really, I know that our story is our story, and it's perfect for us because it made us who we are today. I'm totally rambling.

I just bolded your whole comment because this is me EXACTLY.  I am borderline freaking out at how this explains everything I have been thinking.

Myaflowers

Helenahhandbasket said:

I am right there with you.

STBXH and I have been cleaning out our storage unit and I have been purging baby stuff-- I gave away her high chair, two infant car seats and a ton of clothes and I ugly cried about it.

HUGS

Myaflowers

Ago said:

Yep, I understand. I am OAD because DH isn't on board with another, but I am closer to terms with that. My thoughts are I wish I had known when I was pregnant that that would be it. Maybe I would have tried to be in the moment more? I think the hard thing was that DH gave away my stuff (crib, cozy coupe, etc.) to a cousin having a baby before I knew he was OAD, so I thought I would get the stuff back. As dumb as it sounds, I wanted to "say goodbye." I still need to get rid of my maternity clothes.

I understand. I feel like I'm saying 'goodbye' to all of DD's baby things, and it's sad. Thanks to everyone for all the comments. It feels better knowing it's not just me.

Myaflowers

hopefulmom81 said:

gwendarling said:

I am OAD by choice and l get super nostalgic and sad when I start thinking about how fast dd is growing up or that we may not have another. I wish OAD wasn't the best situation for us... and I wish I wanted another that badly, it would make this decision easier. but ultimately, for me, in addition to the reasons I listed in my intro, I think the biggest thing is that I'm really mourning the time i wasted when dd was a newborn and infant. and even though ultimately I am even thankful we went through that dark period (because it really made our bond stronger I think), I always think if I could do it again knowing what I know now, I could've done it "right" and maybe enjoyed a dreamy newborn period. but really, I know that our story is our story, and it's perfect for us because it made us who we are today. I'm totally rambling.

STUCK IN THE BOX...I feel the same way. I am sad that I didn't take time to enjoy the newborn stage more. I was pretty depressed and didn't enjoy it much at all.

hopefulmom81

Myaflowers said:

hopefulmom81 said:

gwendarling said:

I am OAD by choice and l get super nostalgic and sad when I start thinking about how fast dd is growing up or that we may not have another. I wish OAD wasn't the best situation for us... and I wish I wanted another that badly, it would make this decision easier. but ultimately, for me, in addition to the reasons I listed in my intro, I think the biggest thing is that I'm really mourning the time i wasted when dd was a newborn and infant. and even though ultimately I am even thankful we went through that dark period (because it really made our bond stronger I think), I always think if I could do it again knowing what I know now, I could've done it "right" and maybe enjoyed a dreamy newborn period. but really, I know that our story is our story, and it's perfect for us because it made us who we are today. I'm totally rambling.

STUCK IN THE BOX...I feel the same way. I am sad that I didn't take time to enjoy the newborn stage more. I was pretty depressed and didn't enjoy it much at all.

Honestly?  I don't even remember the first month of her life.  I was in such an anxiety haze.  It makes me sick to think that I didn't savor those moments.

gwendarling

hopefulmom81 said:

Myaflowers said:

hopefulmom81 said:

gwendarling said:

I am OAD by choice and l get super nostalgic and sad when I start thinking about how fast dd is growing up or that we may not have another. I wish OAD wasn't the best situation for us... and I wish I wanted another that badly, it would make this decision easier. but ultimately, for me, in addition to the reasons I listed in my intro, I think the biggest thing is that I'm really mourning the time i wasted when dd was a newborn and infant. and even though ultimately I am even thankful we went through that dark period (because it really made our bond stronger I think), I always think if I could do it again knowing what I know now, I could've done it "right" and maybe enjoyed a dreamy newborn period. but really, I know that our story is our story, and it's perfect for us because it made us who we are today. I'm totally rambling.

STUCK IN THE BOX...I feel the same way. I am sad that I didn't take time to enjoy the newborn stage more. I was pretty depressed and didn't enjoy it much at all.

Honestly?  I don't even remember the first month of her life.  I was in such an anxiety haze.  It makes me sick to think that I didn't savor those moments.

awww we're so meant to be here together!! I just also wanted to add that even friends who are on their second or third express their anxiety with their newborns - It is normal to be affected by hormones and they are a very real force of nature.

I really do mean it when I say that I am thankful for that dark period - I don't know that I would trade places. I had a friend who used to gush about how dreamy the newborn period was for her and her kid (even as I was clearly not having a good time with it) and honestly? I would not trade places with her. I still think that period was perfect for me - it taught me how to be infinitely patient with her, cherish every moment, and overall, be the mom that I am today.

*~Krystin1119~*

@myaflowers I know exactly how you feel!!! I'm going through the exact same thing. I know that we're OAD for several medical reasons (some I've shared, others I have not), but it's the knowing that we didn't have a choice or option. As we've started packing up the changing table and getting her big girl furniture it has hit both DH & I very hard. This is the end of our little baby days. We too worry that this will make us want another baby, but for medical reasons, crazy boss reasons, DH needing a better job reasons we both know it will not happen. Hopefully as time rolls on it'll get easier. Today, we cried because DD has her first field trip today and neither of us were available to chaperone, but we'll look forward to all the firsts left to come and not think how they are also our lasts...if that makes sense lol

Non creepy internet hugs!!!

PB102012

JackoftheBox said:

No advice, but I'm sorry your feeling like this. I'm sure being medically oad makes it 100x worse.

This exactly. I am by choice, but I cannot imagine the hurt of being medically OAD, then wanting another. I am so sorry. Hugs!

meo34

So sorry for you guys and sending creepy internet hugs.  I have been there from time to time and I think being medically one and done or not done by choice makes it more difficult.  I did feel that way too for years after but now I am really at peace with our decision and would not have it any other way.  So those twinges gradually did fade for me at least.

I think it is human nature to have regrets and want a "do over" so I can see the thoughts about savoring the pregnancy more or the newborn stage.  I regretted not having that special moment after birth and bonding because I was so sick.  It did make me sad to see my friends pictures at the hospital and their bonding time with their newborns, holding them right after birth.  But in the end it makes you who you are and a better person (hopefully ) and to appreciate what you have.

In the long run I think we win out in a way because as OADer's even though we may miss experience the pregnancy/newborn stuff again we cherish the moments with our onlies and savor them more (or at least I like to think so), making those milestones all the more special.