RSVPing to Birthday Parties — The Bump
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RSVPing to Birthday Parties

I just had a birthday party for my DS this past weekend.  With the help of his teacher, he passed out invitations to every single member of his class the last week of school, which was a month ago (no option for Evite because the school does not share parents email addresses).  Out of 16 classmates, only 3 attended.  I expected a low turnout because families have vacations, other commitments, etc.  But what I did not expect was the complete lack of responses in general.  The only people that RSVPed were the attendees.  No one else even responded that they were not coming.  I just thought it was strange because I always make sure we respond to every party invitation whether we are coming or not.  I am curious about other's experiences when it comes to birthday parties...has this ever happened to you?  Any ideas on how to handle this in the future?  
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Re: RSVPing to Birthday Parties

  • Although I RSVP I know not to expect it from anyone else! It's truly a dying tradition- most times I've needed RSVP it's been a nightmare to try to even guess!
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  • It's so weird & gets posted a lot on here...where we live ppl i think just don't rsvp if they're not coming so I assume no rsvp=no guest and then have a little extra of whatever we're providing just in case.
  • I don't get it either.  I always RSVP but have problems with others doing so...especially parents of students in the classroom (as opposed to enighbors and other friends).  I do the same as PP.  no RSVP I assume they aren't coming and make an extra goody bag or two just in case. 
    DD~6 years old~born June 6, 2008 (1st grade)
    DS~4 years old~born November 6, 2010 (1st year of preschool)
  • MNgirl326MNgirl326 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its Photogenic
    edited July 2014
    For DS's party we had about half RSVP by the deadline. I needed to a headcount - so I followed up with the families that hadn't. I just put a note in the mailboxes at school saying or texted friends - hey just trying to get a headcount for the party, can you let me know with way, thanks!
    I got responses from every single person. Most of them apologizing for not RSVPing explaining that they just forgot.
    With one mom I didn't hear anything and I stopped her in The hallway. Turns out she new nothing about it because her husband picks the kids up and is really bad about getting her stuff from school.
    I have learned that people are busy and sometimes need a follow up reminder.
    Sorry it didn't work out this time- next time I would probably do a bit more follow up.

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  • I have inadvertently been one of those people who didn't RSVP when, days after the birthday party, I found an invite stuffed in the bottom of my kid's backpack.  Although people don't RSVP out of sheer rudeness, I find it harder to stay on top of invites that come home via backpack express.  If my kid gets one via snail mail, I'm much more aware of it and much more likely to attempt to get my kid to the party.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
    MNgirl326[Deleted User]
  • MNgirl326MNgirl326 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its Photogenic
    edited July 2014
    In general I would find a way to keep in touch with families so that you aren't depending on notes going home in back packs.
    The families in my classroom usually set up an email directory or phone number directory. Usually one or two moms start it. It's always optional but almost everyone always signs up.
    This way you can contact the families yourself to follow up.

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  • ss+elss+el member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    No help on the RSVPs, I agree it's a dying tradition.
    I have a suggestion, if you can find a way to implement it (teacher's help?)

    My son's class had a shutterfly group that had a message board, place for anyone to post class photos, volunteer page, teacher's wish list and class list with parent contact info. Parents could choose how much or little info they provided, if any.

    It worked out great for getting info out to other parents.
  • I understand your problem, my twins are 7/6 babies so most kids are out of town for their birthday. However last year we invited both classes(I separated them in school) expecting people to be out of town and ending paying for over 30 kids to see Despicable Me 2! This we only invited 5 kids per twin and thankfully our school provides email info..but summer birthdays are so tough and you can't help but feel horrible for the kids but come on...fellow parents (who plan/pay for their own kids parties)need to RSVP!! It's just plan rude.
    Married 07/15/2006 DS # 1&2 born 07/06/2007 TTC# 3 since 10/2013
  • If your child has attended school all year didnt he get invited to all the other kids parties? They usually have RSVP emails on them. I search my old emails to make my own contact list and email reminders to the parents and it works! I simpithise. I have a July birthday myself and it was always hard. I usually had low attendance and only invited a few close friends and had a pool party. Both DS are around holidays so I have to move the parties earlier so that people will come but I always had to remind parents to RSVP to get any response.
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  • Same thing happen at my daughter's class, parent invited the whole class which was about 17 kids and only 3 attended including my daughter.
  • I made sure i RSVP, Cause i know the stress of that.
  • -auntie- said:

    Specific to summer birthdays, the best advice is to throw your kid's party at some other time. I know a mom who threw her sports mad son a Superbowl Party every year instead. Another mom did a fabulous Halloween Party. I used to do an End of Year swim or paintball party that was generally well attended; one year when DS was in private school we did a before the first day kickoff because I already had his class list.

    Hi! Mom of late August/early Sept birthday kids here!  My son's bday is THE first day of school this year.  My DD's birthday usually falls right around Labor Day weekend.  It's a sucky time of year to try to get a large group of kids together to attend a birthday party.

    I will say it gets a lot easier as kids get older and want to have smaller parties with just a few best friends, and the party can be held at a time other than the actual birthday. I have also had great luck with holding their parties in early October, using Halloween/fall themed decorations.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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