FTMs note to STMs and more...

Glas43

As a FTM my husband and i have already talked about having another child. I have often wondered through this pregnancy "how do they do it?!" Referring to you STM and those who have more. When im just flat exhausted and need to sleep we only have our dog who is more than willing to cuddle with me. Well for about a week now i have been helping out my SIL and watching our neice day and night by myself as my DH is out of town. shes 13 months and im getting just a slight taste of what you ladies do everyday and what my future will hold. I just wanted to say to you all that you are amazing women and i hope i can be as good at this parenting thing as you all seem to be!

vrj0522

In all honesty, it is not easy to be a mom! It's hard work! But having a life to share with that little person makes it all worth it. There are way too many fun/loving/special moments and life becomes so much more fulfilling! I would never want to go back to my easier, simpler life before DS. He just brings way too much joy to want to go back (although breaks are greatly appreciated). 

And as far as having more than one, I wondered the same thing when DS was a newborn. DH and I have always said 3 kids was our minimum if possible but after DS was born, the thought of more kids freaked me out (still does a little) but as they start to grow, you become better at it, and you feel more ready, and the best words of wisdom about having more children I've ever heard were, "you take them one at a time and that gives you time to adjust". It's true. It would make me really sad if DS couldn't have a sibling to share life with and I feel like our life wouldn't be complete without another baby, and having someone else to love just makes it all worth it. 

DaniGrace89

Also a FTM, and I agree with you.

You all deserve the world for what you do!!!!

JJsMum

Honestly, you just kind of do it.  I remember with DS#1, I'd stay in bed 'til noon, wander around in my pjs all day, stay up late at night getting my work done (distance courses for my degree, and a natural night owl).  I always wondered how I'd make it work when I had kids, who often like to be up with the sun (ick).  And the truth was, that I never even noticed once DS got here, I was too in awe of him.

Then we had DS#2.  Found out in the middle of moving that I was pregnant.  I'll admit, DS#1's TV time increased during the 1st tri so that I could occassionally lounge on the couch.  But mostly, I was too busy unpacking the house, chasing after a 1.5 y/o, and my course work to notice how tired I was until bedtime.  Gone are the nights of staying up late playing games with DH.  Now by 9:30 we're looking at the clock going, 'yeah, I could go to bed now...'  And then realizing it's Friday night and we simply cannot go to bed that early.  So we veg on the couch, watch silly shows we aren't paying attention to, sometimes manage to play a game, and/or just snuggle on the couch and talk.

Now with DS#3, I honestly forget that I'm pregnant sometimes.  Right up until a bony knee or elbow impacts my stomach, or one of the kids complains that my lap isn't big enough and to 'bring it back!'  

It's not easy, but we have our routine, which helps.  DS#1 is getting old enough to help in small ways, like entertaining his brother.  DH has really stepped up to help keep the house tidy, and we've hired someone to come in once a month and give our house a deep clean.  But mostly I manage to stick to my routine and everything gets done, eventually.  Sure, the laundry piles up, the dishes take over the sink, and there is still breakfast food on the floor where DS#2 threw it.  But it eventually gets picked up (DS#1 helps with the floor stuff ), and life goes on.  I've gone from being a total germaphobe, to being a lot more relaxed.  The toys on the floor aren't hurting anything and will be picked up before bed (house rule), as long as the dishes end up in the dishwasher by the end of the night, everything will be fine.  Laundry pulled out of the clean basket is just as clean as the laundry in the dresser/closet.  

Sorry this turned into a novel

JessAnnJ

I thought the same thing when I was pregnant with DD. It's definitely harder when you are sick and tired and pregnant but you do it. I think because your life is so different and you are used to being busy and not having free time it is more difficult, but not quite as hard as I imagined. I still can't wrap my mind around taking care of a newborn and DD though. Also, I do definitely feel further along than I did at this stage last pregnancy.

The thing about pregnancy being hard is your forget how hard it is and are happily willing to go through it again. Same thing with childbirth and taking care of a newborn.

pnwlover12

JessAnnJ said:

I thought the same thing when I was pregnant with DD. It's definitely harder when you are sick and tired and pregnant but you do it. I think because your life is so different and you are used to being busy and not having free time it is more difficult, but not quite as hard as I imagined. I still can't wrap my mind around taking care of a newborn and DD though. Also, I do definitely feel further along than I did at this stage last pregnancy.

The thing about pregnancy being hard is your forget how hard it is and are happily willing to go through it again. Same thing with childbirth and taking care of a newborn.

All of this.

Starfish17

I also think that by the time you are on your second +, pregnancy, you have gotten used to being in a permanent state of tired, and that you are also used to putting someone else's needs before your own.  I agree with what PP said about sort of "forgetting" about being pregnant, in the sense that I feel like I haven't done anything to get ready for this one, as compared to our first when I think everything was set to go by this point.  You learn to relax a little bit over time as well, and realize it's not a crisis if for example, the kids have to watch a bit more TV than usual so that you can get some rest in.  

lilmissfancy

FTM and I've been thinking the same ! =D> STM+ you all are amazing!

Eastie156

pnwlover12 said:

I thought the same thing when I was pregnant with DD. It's definitely harder when you are sick and tired and pregnant but you do it. I think because your life is so different and you are used to being busy and not having free time it is more difficult, but not quite as hard as I imagined. I still can't wrap my mind around taking care of a newborn and DD though. Also, I do definitely feel further along than I did at this stage last pregnancy. The thing about pregnancy being hard is your forget how hard it is and are happily willing to go through it again. Same thing with childbirth and taking care of a newborn.

All of this.

Another +this

bumpuser10309732

I also want to add that being pregnant has caused me to appreciate my mom more! Not that I didn't think the world of her before but now I'm just in awe of how she raised us four kids to all come out MOSTLY normal. Lol Mom's are amazing! The STM's on this board are a definite asset to the freak out moments that I know are sure to come my way :-) So glad to have found you ladies!

raynes

I agree with the other STMs above, you just sort of do it.  It also really helps to have a supportive partner who lets you take naps when you really need them and doesn't mind eating quick and easy food a bit too often.  :P