Co-host Disagreements ***UPDATE*** — The Bump
Baby Showers

Co-host Disagreements ***UPDATE***

ElaineMOHElaineMOH
100 Love Its Second Anniversary 10 Comments First Answer
member
edited July 2014 in Baby Showers

If planning this shower wasn't so stressful it would be laughable!  I appreciate everyone's input and patience, I just am not sure how to deal with these situations.  My co-host and I have started to work on the details for our relative's baby shower, and it turns out we have very different visions.  We agree that we want to steer away from some of the standard shower food so that isn't an issue.  She wants to really cheap out on certain things that we could do really reasonably anyway - for example, she wants large bottles of soda instead of punch or sparkling juice, bulk white paper napkins instead of simple patterned napkins in a co-ordinating color (we could get these for $1 a package), foam coffee cups, etc.  I suggested a childrens book as a guest book - she wants to pull one off her kids bookshelf instead of buying a new one.  I am close enough to her to know that she isn't hurting for money so this is confusing and aggravating.  As we were going over the list I found myself saying over and over "I'll look after that" because I am not willing to go to all this trouble to have things look cheap and tacky when they can be great for little money.  

 Without getting into too much detail and remain anonymous, the parents to be are big fans of a certain iconic movie from the 70s/80s and my co-host is adamant that this should be the shower theme.  It is completely non- baby related, violent, inappropriate and I would be horrified and embarrassed to have my name on an invitation for an event with this theme.  I am not a conservative person, or prudish - I have run this by a couple of people who were shocked that she thinks this is a good idea, but they don't know how to deal with this either.  I have suggested other themes, but she keeps saying how great and fun it will be and that it should be something MTB likes.  I can't convince her that liking something doesn't make it a good baby shower theme.

I am ready to say that since we have such different ideas and can't agree that I will no longer co-host.  I just can't get behind this choice.  Am I off-base here? Do you see a solution?

Re: Co-host Disagreements ***UPDATE***

  • Thanks for the replies!  I am not opposed to serving soda in addition to other beverages, but it seems she wants to buck anything she sees as traditional eg. punch.  We are having finger foods, so no heavy or messy meal like pasta or salads.

    Even though MTB is due in about 6 weeks she hasn't chosen a nursery theme or even a colour.  The baby will be in their room for a while and they have decided to wait until the baby is born to choose. 

    My co-host really does want to do the shower, but it seems like she has something to prove, and wants it to be totally non-traditional.  She has no problems wanting to spend money on "her theme", but wants to allocate almost nothing to other things.  I had no idea things would be this way! The MTB knows there is something being planned, but really no details. It isn't really a surprise, so talking to her and seeing if there is a theme or colour she likes might be the way to go - hopefully the CH will go with it.

     

  • I don't think they are tacky, just don't fit with the rest of the "look"...linen table cloths, flowers, etc. Big pop bottles would kind of stand out like a sore thumb.  At least with the look I had envisioned, lol! 

    This theme is a deal breaker to me, if she absolutely won't budge then I am out.  Hoping to find a way around that though. :)

     

  • VORVOR
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    ElaineMOH said:

    At least with the look I had envisioned, lol! 

     

    Well, just to play devil's advocate here- you have a vision and clearly she does too.  Yes, her vision seems more on the "wrong" side of things, but at the same time - to her, it may be just as important as your vision is to you.


    I say that only to say pick and choose what's REALLY important here.  Give in where it really doesn't matter all that much.  Let her get the big bottles of soda, you can supply the punch.  But then stand firm on the theme.  Or at least on what the theme will NOT be. 


    If we want to talk about "tacky", supplying your guests drinks - no matter the format - isn't tacky.  But having a baby shower theme that represents violence... eh, I would call that tacky and I can see it offending your guests. 

    aditigirl[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • The strange theme is HUGE to me and I will take a stand on that.  I am willing to serve pop, thing is she doesn't want to compromise by also offering punch, etc. as it's "too traditional".  She even made a face when I mentioned tea and coffee. I am willing to compromise on almost everything, but she is not.  My "vision" is flexible - I know I can't have everything my way, but I expect the same consideration in return.

    My husband made a good point - I asked HER to co-host, invited her into my event so to speak, and I booked the hall, signed the contract and paid for it myself.  He thinks if she doesn't want to compromise and is trying to run the show I should tell her sorry and cut her loose.  Then do the shower myself.  Others have offered a helping hand so I wouldn't be on my own.  I don't want to take such a heavy-handed approach but I guess I will if she isn't willing to work with me.  She has pretty much told me what is happening rather than tried to work together.  Not how I want this to go...

    [Deleted User]
  • Lol, Will you come with me Bliss+Berry?!?

     

    Bliss+Berry
  • I don't have an issue with soda, but I can see how it wouldn't fit a look. A cooler with cans might be less conspicuous (you could decorate it maybe?). Otherwise, I saw some cute drink containers on clearance at Target this week.... Maybe a couple pitchers would look better?

    I'm with you that you need to buy a new book. I don't know about her kids, but mine is rough on books...

    As for the theme, you're definitely right about that.

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  • I'm curious what the movie is now, Star Wars ?

    Anyways, I would tell say that her theme is not going to happen, end of discussion.  She can come up with 5 other ideas for themes and you can come up with 5 ideas and then you can see if you both match somehow.  

    Cut her loose if you have to.
    Bliss+Berry
  • I agree that those mini cans in a nice ice bucket would be the best way to go for soda. It's a little more expensive but looks a little nicer.

    I'm also curious as to what the movie is, I know you don't want to out yourself, but could you make up a title that would be a play on it (i.e. Blue Spider Crab=Red Lobster, Celestial Body Battles=Star Wars).



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  • Oh, if only it were Star Wars!! I could work with that...maybe ;)   
  • So tell us.  What movie is it ?

  • So tell us.  What movie is it ?


    Looking at a list of top movies of each year of the 1970s, and looking at top movies of 1978 and 1979, I'm going with one of two horror series - either a certain iconic zombie series, or a certain series involving a guy in a mask.
    well if that is the case, then the other co-host has a few screws loose.  I would have no problems telling her absolutely not.
    Bliss+Berryaditigirl
  • VORVOR
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    Ah... interesting. Yes, I would find a way to cut her loose.  You don't have to be mean about it, but pull rank.  Remind her that YOU asked HER to cohost.  And as such, this is ultimately your party/ your decision.
  • The movie is the rocky horror picture show...yeah, totally baby shower appropriate... :(

     

  • FTB's mom is a pastor,so I'm sure she would be impressed, and almost half of the guests are women between 60 and 85.  I cringe at the thought of having to greet guests and explain what in hell the theme is!  I don't even know how CH would go about depicting the theme at a shower! I actually had a bit of a cry over this last night...SO NOT HAPPENING!!!
  • I just...what is wrong with her ?

    Stand your ground, for the sake of all of your guests stand your ground.  

    If she wants to throw a separate RHPS themed party, fine.  However, this is not appropriate for a baby shower.  

    Have you talked to her about it yet ?
    Bliss+Berry[Deleted User]aditigirl
  • We talked the other day and at first I was speechless, but after I had a minute to process what she was saying I told her I didn't think it was right for a  shower, suggested some other things, but she just kept saying how much fun it would be.  I had to go to work, so didn't have time to hash it out.  She has always marched to the beat of her own drum, but I did not see this coming. I will gather my thoughts and call her tomorrow.  Should be fun! :P

     

  • ElaineMOH said:

    The movie is the rocky horror picture show...yeah, totally baby shower appropriate... :(

     

    Oh sweet baby Jesus.  
    This. Worst shower theme ever. My guess was Scarface.
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    ElaineMOHSingleMom31[Deleted User]aditigirl
  • I would never put out plastic soda bottles. I agree, tacky.

    There is a reason you get a punch bowl and a ladle and put out pretty cups for a lovely party. Or use a pitcher. Or a pretty glass dispenser for water with cucumbers or lemons in there like they do at spas.

    The ice buckets as PP have suggested could work too.

    I can't even comment on RHPS as a theme. I'm glad your friend's mom slapped some sense into her.
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  • Thanks for the replies...the theme issue is completely resolved and she is open to other ideas.  I am willing to live with bottles of soda and she is good with punch/coffee/tea.  Here's hoping we have met the last big hurdle! 
    [Deleted User]aditigirl
  • I told her that the RHPS theme would make an awesome Halloween party...she's thinking it over!
    Meery82[Deleted User]
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