Help me get my kid to poop

acesup

DD has been potty trained for pee for a year. She was terrified of pooping in the potty. We tried everything. She held her poop for 9 days. After weeks of poopy pants and poop holding to the point of being doubled over - we got a point where she would ask for a pull up to poop in and then get changed back into underwear. That was working and I figured she would work it out herself. I've been trying to get her to do it without pushing too hard (pun? Lol) there have been tears and crying and yelling and miralax (she holds it and gets constipated). Finally the other night she did it. It took some coaxing but no tears and she did it and was so happy. We rewarded her. (We had tried much bribery over the last year).
That was Thursday. She hasn't pooped since (usually twice a day). I can tell she is holding it. We just got her to sit in the potty but she barely even tried before she started crying and saying she didn't need to poop. Then asked for a pull up. Im trying nit to give in. I told her no pull ups. I'm at my wits end. Ready to lose my mind. She is going to be 4 this fall. She is the only child in her class not potty trained. I just don't know what to do.

tl;dr- my kid won't shit on the pot.

acesup

Holy wall of text. Sorry

acesup

Thank you for the insight. Daycare thankfully is being very understanding. I just feel bad that teachers who don't typically have to change diapers have to change my kids pull up. Her poop is nasty! Lol.

We tried telling her nemo eats poopy and he was really hungry. Lol. When she finally went the other night she said she was so happy nemo wasn't going to starve. She also said she didn't have to "stay in poopy" (sometimes she has to wait a minute to be changed from her pull up if I'm busy and she doesn't like this). She is very logical and extremely smart. I just don't understand why she is having this issue and how to help her get past it. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm just giving in with pull ups and I'm afraid I'm being played by a preschooler. We feel like we've tried every approach! This is so frustrating.

You know how they say "no one goes to kindergarten in diapers"? I think my kid will be exception. Only it may be college !!! Ha. We joke that DS will be trained before her- I'm afraid that actually may happen though!!

cyprissa

Sorry! My kid shits on the pot at home but WILL NOT go at school. He will prairie dog it until it finally slips out for some reason. I wish I could help you with suggestions but I've got nothing.

azzyberry

I don't have advice but I wanted to give you all my sorries. It took us 1.5 years to get my DS to poop on the potty and it was a PITA. I'm just now starting to PT my DD and I am hoping she will be easier otherwise I might lose my mind.

LBib

DS will not poop if I'm in the room. He actively kicks me out when he gets close. However, I do sometimes need to 'force' him to stay sitting on the potty long enough to relax and sharing a story or having a special toy may help.

point1

Hello! Lurker jumping in to (hopefully) help
I have some experience with kids that have bowel management issues, and I think what you may be dealing with is fear related to previous constipation experience (i.e. It hurt to poop so now I'm just going to hold it in). Unfortunately this can make constipation worse.

Anyways what I would suggest doing is taking the pressure off of pooping and start building some positive associations with just sitting on the toilet.

Have her sit on the toilet 3-4 times a day for no more than 5 min. And create a sticker chart for sitting. If she poops, awesome she gets an extra sticker, but praise just for sitting. This will get her more comfortable using the toilet.

When she is on the toilet I would make sure she is in a good pooping position (kind of squatting) with a stool if necessary under her feet. You can do some relaxing activities while she is sitting if you want to distract her but I wouldn't do anything too exciting, liking playing a video game.

As she practices more and becomes more relaxed she is bound to start pooping in the toilet. If you think she is constipated or her poop is like little marbles you may want to talk with your pedi about starting a stool softener routine to aid in her efforts.

I hope this helps and isn't way more info than you needed.

acesup

TyrannosaurusLex said:

Sounds like performance anxiety? As much as making a big deal out of it is great for positive reinforcement it could also have spooked her a little...like, oh god, that made them so happy, what f I can't do it again?

I like pp's tips about telling a story and distracting her from what she's doing - heck, I bump and poop, why wouldn't a kid want something to relax with?

Do you have an iPad? I've seen playing with the iPad on the toilet be pretty enticing and relaxing for littles with this problem.

True maybe we went overboard. We have done books and iPad as well. I will try those again

Thanks

acesup

sandov23 said:

Hello! Lurker jumping in to (hopefully) help
I have some experience with kids that have bowel management issues, and I think what you may be dealing with is fear related to previous constipation experience (i.e. It hurt to poop so now I'm just going to hold it in). Unfortunately this can make constipation worse.

Anyways what I would suggest doing is taking the pressure off of pooping and start building some positive associations with just sitting on the toilet.

Have her sit on the toilet 3-4 times a day for no more than 5 min. And create a sticker chart for sitting. If she poops, awesome she gets an extra sticker, but praise just for sitting. This will get her more comfortable using the toilet.

When she is on the toilet I would make sure she is in a good pooping position (kind of squatting) with a stool if necessary under her feet. You can do some relaxing activities while she is sitting if you want to distract her but I wouldn't do anything too exciting, liking playing a video game.

As she practices more and becomes more relaxed she is bound to start pooping in the toilet. If you think she is constipated or her poop is like little marbles you may want to talk with your pedi about starting a stool softener routine to aid in her efforts.

I hope this helps and isn't way more info than you needed.

Thanks! I think this has been an issue in the past for her but she gets miralax to avoid constipation so her stools have been soft. Also, she literally poops the second I put a pull up on her. I honestly don't know how someone who has to poop can hold it while sitting on the toilet lol

acesup

nonniedee said:

Watermelon, she'll have to go after having all that fiber and water.

Lol! She does eat watermelon. I don't think it's that she doesn't have to go- she is refusing to and holding it in. Eventually if I don't give her a pull up I think she will poop her pants.

acesup

She did it! After some coaching and the iPad she finally went on the potty! Woohoo! I will have to just keep working with her- it's like poop therapy lol. Fingers crossed we can keep this going and FINALLY be done with pull ups!

Designermomma

LOL, DS won't poop without his ipad. He holds it at school all day.
When we were in the early stages, we told him we'd take him to Chuck-E-Cheese if he pooped in the potty all week. He went for that. Then we gradually added a week etc. for him to get the reward. Now he just asks "where's my ipad" and I know he's gonna be busy for a while. Now we are working on wiping his own behind and washing his hands afterwards.
8-|

Littledeer84

Just wanted to say good luck! I think my DD is close in age to yours, and we have problems with poop still. Miralax has generally done the trick for us, but she still withholds for fear of it hurting sometimes. She has gone a week a few times. It is so hard to understand why they fight poop! A good poop is the best.