Parenting after a Loss

Hi!! Questions from a pgal'er :)

Hellloooo ladies!! It's been way too long since I've lurked over here :-* I picked a good day to lurk too,love all the pics of your LOs!

I have a few questions for you lovelies. Out of curiosity what car seat did you end up choosing? I'm between a graco or chicco. I'm not sold on a particular stroller, so I can't base it off that either @-)

Also I've started buying smaller items when I go into a store (socks, wipes, etc). I've been looking at bottles & my question there---are most nipples & bottles compatible as long as the wide/narrow necks match?

Also, were there any items you didn't end up getting a lot of at your shower that you ended up buying more of? Thinking mostly smaller things here that I can start buying over time as I believe our families will purchase bigger items & newborn or 0-3mo clothing. Any items you were given that you initially thought would be useless but now you love?

BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!

DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart

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Re: Hi!! Questions from a pgal'er :)

  • If you're not sold on a stroller my recs are the Chicco Keyfit with the Keyfit caddy or the Safety 1st onBoard Air 35 with the Clic It Snap N Go. Then you could decide on the stroller when LO arrives. When I had my older DS there wasn't a Keyfit Caddy, so I ended up doing the Safety 1st over the Graco because it lasted longer, had premie/newborn insert, and a nicer Snap N Go than the Graco did. Plus I knew someone who had gotten the seats for their NICU twins and loved them! I ended up using the seat for both boys.

    If you haven't, check out the Valco Strollers. They work with Chicco and are amazing. I have the Snap Dual for both boys, but with I had the single. It has a huge basket, handy storage pockets, and weighs 12 lbs! My G-luxe weighs 12 lbs but is just an umbrella. Honestly if I were going to do it over I'd do the Snap with the Chicco Keyfit or Maxi Cosi Prezi, that's similar to my Safety 1st. not get more than 3 of a kind. Kids are picky, don't even worry about picking one that will go with other bottles. DS2 would only take Tommee Tippee. ;) DS1 would use all of them. Tommee Tippee is only comparable with Tommee Tippee...hehe.

    Get newborn clothing. Most people at your shower will buy you 3 & 6 month clothes telling you you don't need newborn. That's a joke. With DS1 I was at Walmart less than a day after we left the hospital getting newborn clothes, mainly sleepers.

    My number one useless turned amazing gift. Carter's Lap Pads. They were amazing keeping spit up off the sheet. It was so much easier to change them other than the sheet.

    Sorry this is long & hope it helps!

    TTC January 2010
    BFP #1 10-11-10 ectopic discovered 10-22-10, 10-23-10 methotrexate & emergency surgery, lost right tube BFP #2 12-1-10 Found to be tissue dropped from salingectomy or missed heterotopic pregnancy from BFP #1 BFP #3 1-30-11 DS arrived on due date 10-10-11 BFP #4 Surprise 9-3-12 EDD 5-9-13 DS2 arrived 5-5-13 BFP #5 5-14-14 Emergency D&C 6-16-14 9 weeks
  • km_mdkm_md member
    Hi!!! Love seeing you around these parts!

    Car seat - we have a Graco snug ride. It got really good reviews and safety ratings on consumer reports and the price was good so that's what we went with. I'm happy with it. Quality is good. Easy to use. Stroller folds up and unfolds very easily.

    Other stuff
    - I did get quite a bit of NB clothes so that one is hit or miss
    - DD has reflux so she is a spitter. Bibs are a must. I did end up getting a bunch from a friend but if I didn't I would definitely have needed more
    - Bottles I would buy a couple and then wait and see. DD hates them all so I have a million laying around now.
    - same goes for pacifiers
    - receiving blankets - I didn't get too many so I bought some on my own and I use them constantly.

    Nobody really used my registry. And DHs cousin just had a baby and nobody bought from hers either. So I ended up with a ton of cute clothes and blankets and a lot of useful stuff but there were things I needed that I didn't get and things I got that I never used.

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  • @FmrAFBrat‌ had a lot of good advice. We were in desperate need of tiny socks! Not 0-3, newborn socks...they are pretty hard to find. We searched Walmart, Target and BRU and finally found some on a return trip to target. If you see some when out and about grab them! I didn't expect to totally love and depend on the SwaddleMe sleep sacks, we swaddled DS every night for about four months and the sleep sacks were amazing!

    BFP #1 4/10/12 D&C 6/5/12@ 12.5wks EDD 12/17/12
    BFP #2 9/10/12 CP 9/19/12@ 5.5wks EDD 5/21/13
    BFP# 3 12/3/12...Lukas James born 8/15/13
    BFP# 4 8/4/14 EDD 4/13/15

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  • I love my Graco click connect. It was so quick and convenient to get my son out of the car. I also got the compatible jogger, which again, was so great for when he was too little to sit in the stroller, and as a travel system. I found a lot of the smaller bottles were interchangeable, even with the Medela pump lids, but the larger Nuks I bought (he is 7 months and a big eater now) are much wider, but my fav bottle by far. The biggest bust was the nursing pillow I bought, and ended up getting My Brest friend pillow a month or so later. Also the K'tan carrier was not too easy to put on alone, so I bought the ergo later. I was SO off on sizes of clothes and everything was too big, so even with a big baby, I needed newborn, and had only 0-3, which he was swimming in.... Plus he was jaundiced and lost weight. I also needed more burp cloths. I loved the body suits with built in mittens because he scratched his face a lot. Target sells a pump bottle of rinse free baby clean up(PhysiObebe) for face and bum by Mustela- I love this stuff!! My iPad will make this one big paragraph, so I will leave it there. So much more to share though!! Congrats Mama!



    Me:41/ lean PCOS, 2 clotting disorders, IC/ DH:41~ TTC since 1/11
    Clomid 50mg,100mg,150mg | Injectables + IUI#1 & IUI#2= BFN
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  • km_mdkm_md member

    As far as clothes go, I wouldn't stock up on too many of one size for a specific season.  Emmie outgrew her newborn and 0-3 month clothing before she was 2 months old. I thought she'd be in her 0-3 month a bit longer.  A lot of her 3-6 month clothing I bought were for fall time, so I had to buy summer clothing in the 3-6 month size instead. 

    This is a good point. It is so hard to predict. DD was in her NB clothes for at least 8 weeks and we are only now getting into 6 months because she is teeny and hasn't been gaining quite enough. I bought her a few different things while I was pregnant that will probably be wrong size for the season now so I'm glad I didn't spend a lot.

    KMW08[Deleted User]
  • KMW08KMW08 member
    Thanks for all the recs ladies!!

    I'll continue picking up socks, so far I've been lucky & have not had trouble finding NB socks. Receiving blankets & bibs, didn't think about those but will pick up some.

    I'm hoping my lil guy fits & doesn't break out in pampers :) this is crazy, but hands down by far the cheapest diapers are pampers at the children's hospital pharmacy here, they even beat amazon prime w/mom. We're also couponers and have found amazing deals on wipes.

    I'm going to try to contain myself from buying clothes LOL!! Same with bottles, I'll wait closer to delivery time so I can return some.

    For strollers/car seat I'm going to have to do some more investigative work. I initially thought chicco, but then went towards graco. I don't know why now though :?

    BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!

    DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart

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  • edited July 2014
    KMW08 said:
     For strollers/car seat I'm going to have to do some more investigative work. I initially thought chicco, but then went towards graco. I don't know why now though :?
    I was trying to get the most bang for my buck (or my shower guests' bucks!) and minimize the amount of baby junk we had in our house, and hated the idea of a stroller frame that would only last as long as my infant car seat.  So after a lot of research (online reviews, CR, Baby Bargains and Lucie's List), we went with the Chicco KeyFit 30 car seat and the Chicco Liteway Plus stroller.  The Liteway Plus is a very sturdy umbrella stroller, but the seat folds down and you can snap the KeyFit into it, so it's like a stroller frame and umbrella stroller in one.  We use it now with his infant seat, and will be able to use it until he's 50 lbs, technically, although I don't know that he'll actually be in a stroller at that point!  We've only been using them for 2 weeks, so take this for what it's worth.  I love the stroller -- maneuvers well, even on unpaved surfaces, looks nice, not super expensive, but quality seems good.  The car seat is easy to snap in and out of the seat base and the stroller, seems comfy for him, and has great ratings.  My only complaint is that I think it is on the heavier side.  He is 6 lbs right now and I am having trouble imagining carrying him in it when he's 15+, though the weight capacity on the seat is 30 lbs!*

    Size of clothes is hard.  We were told we'd barely use our newborn clothes, but received a lot of them at showers.  In the end he was small for gestational age AND I was induced 2w early; he came out at 5 lbs 7 oz and his newborn stuff was too big.  We actually bought a few preemie onesies after he came home because they fit better -- I would have never expected to need those.  I look at the 0-3 stuff and can't imagine him fitting in it, but he's growing fast.

    Good luck!  Can't wait to see you on this side!

    *ETA: I do not have very good upper body strength though!  I suppose I'll get stronger as he grows.
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
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  • My only recommendation would be to try the seats out in your car before you choose. It would suck if you chose something only to return it.

    Other things to consider...if you're planning on having another baby fairly soon and using daycare...then defiantly get a snap n go frame. It made life for me so easy with 2U2 getting in and out of daycare or quick pharmacy runs. There is no way I would have left a real stroller at daycare or in my car all the time.

    Also there are tons of strollers that will work with Graco and Chicco (as well as other brand seats) that might suit your needs better. Things like Valco, Baby Jogger, Bumbleride, BOB, & Schwinn pop to mind. Also Safety 1st has a new universal umbrella stroller that will work with any brand of car seat that's like the Chicco PP mentioned if you're dead seat on the Snugride.
    TTC January 2010
    BFP #1 10-11-10 ectopic discovered 10-22-10, 10-23-10 methotrexate & emergency surgery, lost right tube BFP #2 12-1-10 Found to be tissue dropped from salingectomy or missed heterotopic pregnancy from BFP #1 BFP #3 1-30-11 DS arrived on due date 10-10-11 BFP #4 Surprise 9-3-12 EDD 5-9-13 DS2 arrived 5-5-13 BFP #5 5-14-14 Emergency D&C 6-16-14 9 weeks
  • We got a Graco Snugride. It's been good for both kids, though there was a buckle recall recently so be aware of that. I never had an issue, but we replaced the buckle for dd.

    From convertibles on we are Britax people. Have both a Boulevard and a Frontier and love both.

    In my (limited) experience with bottles, there is some compatibility... but it isn't a given.

    We ended up getting diapers (especially sizes 2+), wipes, and 6+ month clothing ourselves.

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14


    Lilypie - (2llN)

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  • We have the Graco complaints here!  Bottles and nipples were my number one stressor when shopping for LO but thankfully she likes any bottle we give her (except the Avent variable flow nipple, she hates that one).

    I would buy just a couple of differnt brands so if LO doesn't like certain ones you're not out a ton of money.  Start with all slow flow nipples (or #1) LO is almsot four months and she still often chokes with the #2 medium nipple.

    We got waaaaay too many wash clothes.  Right now I still only bathe her 2-3 times per week and I use two wash cloths per bath (one to wash, the other to cover her tummy to keep her warm) and then I do laundry and we end up just using the same 6 or so over and over.  As long as you don't bathe everyday, which really isn't necessary early on you shouldn't need more than like a dozen....we have about 4 dozen.

    I would never have bought a bottle warmer but my aunt got us one and we did end up using it in the beginning.  However we haven't used it in almost 2 months....she just takes room temp bottles and on occasion will take one straight from the fridge.  If you plan on nursing, I would hold off on a nursing pillow.  The first few days at home your tummy is still too big to comfortably fit it around your waist and get baby on as well, and then if you're like me and nursing didn't work out, you have this pillow that is no good.  Well, I suppose the boppy would still work to lay LO in (I had a snoogle body pillow for myself and used that to put LO in when she was really little) but the my breast friend is useless for putting LO in.

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  • Well I think you got lots of great answers here! The biggies that we ended up needing extra of were washable changing pads, bassinet/ pack n play sheets, swaddles, and sleepers. I agree with PPs to not stock up on clothes cuz you really have no idea what will fit your LO and how long they will fit in each size. I unexpectedly had a preemie who wore her first NB outfit this past weekend (at 5 weeks old).

    One thing with Graco... There was recently a recall and an article in Consumer Reports (I think) that I read about some issues with them. I don't have a Graco, so I can't remember exactly what was going on but make sure to research that before buying.

    BFP #1: 3/23/13, EDD: 11/22/13, MC: 4/2/13
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    BFP #2: 10/25/13, EDD: 7/3/14, Grow baby Grow! Anabelle Rose born 6/6/14 

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  • We have 3 strollers, no joke, we have an armada of strollers. I wanted a jogging stroller (Jeep), DH wanted one that worked with our infant car seat (Britax) and Nanny wanted a 'lightweight' one (Summer 3d lite). At the end of the day they all work fine. I like the jogging one for actually jogging but it has a fixed front wheel so it's awful for navigating city streets.

    I got an infant car seat because it was handy when he was little to pop it out and carry him around in it. For like 3 months, then he was big enough to just pull out and pop into a carrier or just carry on my hip. So really, there was limited utility. We just got 2 big boy (convertible) car seats the Britax marathon and some Graco thing that was cheap. They both get the job done.

    As far as things that I really liked/found helpful:

    Baby Deedee sleep sacks (after we broke swaddle)

    Velcro swaddlers for 0-3 months

    Snuza Hero Monitor

    Any rectal thermometer

    Baby probiotics. Man did he have some stinky farts before we discovered this.

    Baby Gap clothes. LOVE LOVE LOVE worth the extra money they fit well, wear well, don't shrink and are super soft. Not to mention stylish.

    A high chair cover. High chairs in restaurants are GROSS.

    Munchkin pacifier wipes - these are a must for cleaning binkys or toys that fall on the floor. And they will fall. All food grade ingredients!

    Boogie Mist and a bulb syringe

    Sleep sheep. This is a game changer when they are tiny.

    A baby scale. I love watching him grow!

    Things that were overrated:

    The mamaroo bouncy chair - it's too slow for my kid. The swing they make now might be better.

    Baby grooming kit (we only ever use the little baby nail clippers)

    Any crib. He has yet to use it except to play in while we are busy doing something, haha! He slept  in his bassinet and now in a travel crib in our room or in our bed. Silly boy.

    K'tan and moby wrap type carriers. We got an infantino carrier for like $30 at BRU and it works just fine and is a million times easier to use.

    2-peice cloth diapers. Just could never freakin' figure them out and we kept having to buy bigger and bigger covers because he'd grow out of a size after like 3 weeks. It was just dumb.  We use adjustable pockets now and I like them way better.

    Gerber onesies - they are too damn small. Don't buy Gerber clothes in general, they are cheaply made and they shrink.

    Laundry detergent for baby stuff. No. We just use the same detergent for everything. Ditto for 'diaper detergent'. Who has time or money to buy different detergents for different things?

    Bottle warmers. A cup of warm water works just fine. Extra points if you can get your LO to drink milk or formula cold. There's really no reason to heat it up.

    Baby plates/spoons/cups. Just, no. There's no reason to use anything other than a high chair tray or a regular teaspoon if you are spoon feeding. My kid wants nothing to do with a sippy cup either he wants a regular cup because that's what he sees us drinking out of.

    Nosefrida. The bulb syringe with boogie mist works a million times better.

    **Warning: Losses and living child mentioned**
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!

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  • Boots' list is phenomenal! The only thing I can add is that DS has bad reflux and goes through stages of projectile vomiting so in addition to burp cloths/bibs (I love the A+A ones that snap into bibs because they cover more of him, like a cape) I love the sheet savers for the crib! So much easier to take one off and replace instead of the entire crib sheet, especially after a MOTN feed.

    I have the Garco SnugRide car seat and like it. We never swapped out the buckle for the new one, I just make sure to clean the buckles if DS pukes. It's so easy to click in and out of the base and I use the Snap and Go everywhere! I also have a Bumbleride jogging stroller that I love and the Graco fits with the standard adapter bar that comes with it. I haven't run with it yet since DS is 3 months and there's no way I'm running with the infant carrier attached, but it's been great for walks and shopping and the such so far. Very light and easy to pack up into the car and the front wheel can be locked or left to swivel. I can fit the snap and go and Bumbleride together in my car trunk.

    BFP #1 11/19/12  EDD: 7/25/13  Natural MC on 12/31/12 at 10w4d

    BFP#2 3/1/13   EDD: 11/5/13   Missed MC 4/9/13 at 10w   D&C 4/11/13  
    Baby #2 diagnosed with Trisomy 16. Diagnosed Hetero MTHFR.

    BFP#3 8/5/13   EDD: 4/13/14   Team Green Turned Team Blue! Our rainbow baby, Griffin R arrived via c-section (breech since 20w) on 4/11/14. 



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  • kj808kj808 member
    edited July 2014
    We got a graco snugride for #1 which we also used for #2. IF I do end up pg again, I think i'm going to get the same thing although i've heard great things about the chicco so I don't think you can really go wrong with either.

    I needed to buy a ton more burp cloths after my shower. I went through those things like crazy. I don't think you can have enough of them!

    I didn't think i'd need a swing so I didn't have one for #1 but I bought one and used it a TON with #2. It depends a lot on the baby too. Once you get to know them and their temperament you'll find that you might not use something or that you'll have to get something that you don't already have. The bouncer (not to be confused with a jumperoo) was a lifesaver when I wanted to put them down. Definitely a carrier if you plan to babywear.
    May '15 January siggy challenge:
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  • Hi there. We chose the Graco Quick Connect 30. I love it. The stroller is really easy to open and close and it is a comfortable ride for my daughter. The wheels were a bit of a pain to put together. It was a two person job, one to hold and one to push, but other than that it's been great.

    I use Dr. Brown bottles. S had reflux and we tried a couple of others but the Dr. Brown's were the best, hands down. One thing we didn't think of before the baby shower was a bottle sterilizer. Walmart has one that you can use in the microwave and we couldn't do without it. You'll need lots of wipes and diapers, though they do grow out of the newborn diapers and newborn clothes fairly quickly so you don't need too many of them. One thing we didn't need right away was the Diaper Genie but once S got to be a few months and on solids we have found it to be essential when I had thought it was just a glorified trash can before but now I wouldn't do without it.

    The things we really thought were essential early on were the bouncer, swing, swaddlers, and receiving blankets.

    Congratulations and good luck! It's a wild ride when they get here but so much fun!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • Oh and one more thing...we moved a few days before S was born so we did not have a chance to make up meals and freeze them ahead of time. DO THIS! We felt like we didn't eat for at least a month, unless it was on the run. 
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