Loss check in

shandorfml2

Welcome to the checkin! I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: How do you like to remember your baby?

lexusolsen

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

I requested a new therapist from my insurance provider. I won't see her until August but I really wanted to see a woman. I had a difficult time connecting with my previous male counselor.



What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?


Still trying to get healthy and lose weight. This week I worked out at the gym twice and was active two other days. I'm trying to do something active everyday. I'm down .6, so I'm seeing some progress.



QOTW: How do you like to remember your baby?

I love talking about him and looking over his pictures.

ikrystal

**ticker warning**

Thank you for posting the check-in!  You are amazing. 

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 
I've been trying to plan some events that are coming up for them - the day that I got my BFP, Infant Loss Awareness day in October, Christmas, and their birthday.  Most of these are months away, but I want to make sure that I have happy things planned for these days.  For example, random acts of kindness on their birthday.  I don't want to grieve that day.  I want to make sure my boys make a difference instead.  
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 
Besides all the milestones coming up, the next goal I have is to spend more time in their nursery.  I spent a lot of time there right after they passed away, but now it hurts to be in that room.  I would love to spend more time in there, because I know it will not always be set aside for them (as much as I would like it to be).
QOTW: How do you like to remember your baby?

I've been struggling to remember them with fond memories instead of grief.  There was a period when I could remember them, look at their pictures, spend time with their things, and be happy.  I didn't want their legacy to be grief.  But now, for some reason, thinking of that time in the hospital that I had with the boys practically destroys me.  I'm trying to recall those memories with love.  

LyndseyTS

@ikrystal I'm so with you on making sure that our children's lives make a difference. I love your idea of RAOK.

@lexusolsen I hope that your new therapist is better. It's so important to feel like you connect to make any difference.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
We went to our support group yesterday (hadn't been in a couple of months because of all my ongoing health junk) and that was really good. It was really good to feel like I was healing while helping others to do the same. It also felt different, like I'm not quite as "in-the-midst" of it as I was. It's still painful and there are moments that come on just as strong as if it were yesterday, but I'm finally starting to be able to honour her by creating good instead of focusing on the intense pain.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Things have actually been pretty good health-wise this week (so praying that this is the end of it) so I'm hoping to just get back on track of life. Cleaning my house, trying to deal with the day-to-day so that my husband doesn't have to. I think it's been pretty hard on him picking up all of the pieces while picking me up off the floor to go to the hospital so I'm looking forward to pitching in again. I also want to get my blog up by the end of this month (I'll be nice to myself if it doesn't happen until next month, though).

QOTW: How do you like to remember your baby?
Different ways at different times. I want to create a memorial area in our home for her so that she has a physical space even though she's not physically with us. I think that will be a good thing. I am also participating in this https://carlymarieprojectheal.com/2014/06/august-19th-day-of-hope-the-prayer-flag-project.html and am looking forward to that. Her EDD is coming up (this Friday) and I plan to spend a good chunk of time on Friday doing this as therapy and a way to devote what should have been my daughter's day to her.

ikrystal

LyndseyTS I'm glad to hear that the support group is helping you and that you are able to create good from your little girl.  She is a blessing, no matter what happened. 

lexusolsen Good luck with your new therapist.  I understand you wanting to see a female.  I think that makes a huge difference.