Husband ....

slennaew

My husband has wanted kids ever since we got engaged. He has always voiced how much he looks forward to being a father. I am currently ten weeks with our first child, and since i have gotten pregnant he has taken a turn for the worst. I first noticed that he was at first excited to hear all about the baby, now he all of a sudden doesnt care. All of a sudden he is getting wasted every weekend and last night it got to the point he was practically drooling and told me that he doesnt want our baby. Has anyone had a similar situation...what would you do? I just feel heartbroken that he isnt more involved...

YellowBag

If this is an atypical response from your husband, I wouldn't worry to much. Talk to him (when sober) about how he's feeling and try to listen. It's normal to be scared about becoming a parent. Sometimes I think it's hard for guys because so little is in their control.

flcl

Just echoing PPs to talk to your DH when sober.  I also think it's normal for DHs to have an "oh shit" moment... I know I had more than one!  Even though DH came to the appointments with me, it still didn't hit him until he helped me put away some baby socks we got from the shower.  (I was about 8 months pregnant at that point.)  Best of luck!

Luralu88

I think it's normal for everyone to freak out a bit. My husband didn't freak out until the baby came and then it was real to him. He might be using the drinking as a distraction from his concerns about becoming a father. You should talk to him def. when he's sober and ask him how he truly feels. Thankfully you have 30 more weeks to work through these issues. I remember when I was talking to my husband about his fears after the birth of our son, and when I reminded him that we were in it together and that I was there for him it def. helped him calm down. Good luck!

slennaew

Thanks for the support everyone! Its nice to have this forum to vent to when its something that i dont feel comfortable spilling to everyone in my life! I spoke with him when he was sober and undistracted and i have my husband back. I think he was in a moment of sheer terror for a week or two there!

ConversationFear

DH didn't quite do this, but he did end up having a freak attack about it - even though he was thrilled. He explained to me that it's very scary when it becomes a reality and you're faced with supporting a family. (Not saying that's the way it is - but DH told me that a lot of men feel like they need to provide and support the family even if it's a 2-income household.) It's a good thing that pregnancies take 9 months. It gives mom and dad and everyone else the chance to adjust to the idea that their lives are going to be different than before.