New blood

LaurenS865

Hi ladies, looks like I'll be joining you for this part of the ride. I had my daughter 3 months ago, 11 weeks early. It was a rather traumatizing experience. At first I was completely overwhelmed with learning all about our new reality of having a baby in the NICU. I threw myself into a routine of going to the hospital to see her, pumping milk for her to eat, trying to rest and take care of the house and myself...I didn't have time to even consider PPD, I had to be strong for my girl. After 58 days in the NICU, she came home, and shortly after that, the depression started sneaking up on me. These past couple weeks especially, I've felt like a crazy person. I go from crying and feeling overwhelmed all day, to rage at the smallest of annoyances, to guilt over not enjoying being a mom; it's a roller coaster I want off of. I've been entrusted with the care of this most precious little girl, and I waited for her for two months, and I feel like crap that I haven't been the happy mom that she deserves.

There's a long and glorious history of depression and mental illness in my family, so I knew I needed help. I finally had my first appointment to discuss it today. I'm starting out on Celexa and have a referral to behavioral health for a counselor. The doctor also wants to check my thyroid levels, just to rule out any potential issues there. I hope to be feeling better soon (even just taking the first step has made me feel a little better), but I know it can be a long process.

flcl

Welcome.  Just wanted to wish you luck on your road to recovery.  Hoping you feel better soon...

deanna1313

Hang in there! It is tough dealing with this. Just take one day at a time!

totallyshocked

I had horrible PPD with my DD 4 years ago. They tried Zoloft...didn't work. I kept getting worse....I wanted to give my daughter up for adoption even! Finally they switched me to celexa and within days I was grounded and had my life back plus my baby. I also HIGHLY recommend counseling. I can say it was the worst time in my life and I hate to even remember it. But its just that a memory because you can and will beat this! I love being a mom so much we now have #2 on the way. Just wanted to say hi because I remember posting on her and how scared I was. You had a rough start and its very normal for that to develop into PPD. But like someone said......one day at a time. Best wishes

deanna1313

@totallyshocked I was having a pretty bad night and Reading what you wrote just gave me hope and made me feel so much better. It's so great that you come on here and post even though it isn't currently something you are dealing with.
Can I ask if you have to stay on the meds forever? If you came off of them how are you doing now?

My little guy is 6 weeks and although I feel like I'm getting better (without meds) I'm still going through a really hard time.

totallyshocked

I got of meds yes but got on them again after my mom suffered a major stroke and we had to move in to take care of her for 2 years (she didn't even know her name or anything, she was really bad) and they are decreasing them now on my current pregnancy but keeping me on a low dose as preventative. Feel free to message me if you have any questions or need to talk.

and I come on here once in a bit because its nice to know others are dealing with it but even better to here sometimes from someone who has been through it

deanna1313

Good to know. That's totally understandable to go back on them after taking care of your Mom. It is stressful, I'm sure. Sorry to hear that what you are going through.

Thanks

LaurenS865

Thanks for the words of encouragement, ladies! @MrsMuq‌ there's also a pretty glorious history of mental illness in my family, did that make you less hesitant to seek out help?