Nanny Advice Please

sadie+w

DS is just shy of 2.  Nanny has been with us for 1 year and watches DS 3 days per week.  For a long time, things seemed really great.  DS loved her and whenever I was around, she was super attentive to DS.  For the last several months, DS gets a bad diaper rash about once every other week.  He only gets these when he is left in a poopy diaper too long.  He very very rarely gets them when anyone other than Nanny is with him.  I have talked to Nanny several times about this, and she always says 'sorry' and 'I'm not sure why it happens' and 'I guess we were just so into playing that I didn't notice he pooped.'  I have a hard time buying any of this because it is almost always obvious that DS is pooping (he gets very focused) and it always smells.  I have also come home several times recently and could immediately smell that DS had a poopy diaper.  I change him, it's obvious that he's been dirty for a long time, and he has a rash.

Yesterday DS had a red bottom again and when I told Nanny this morning, she said they went to the park and she forgot to bring wipes, so he was in a wet diaper for a while.  I've never seen his bottom turn red from a wet diaper, and obviously she could have changed a wet diaper without having wipes.

Today MIL stopped by the house at 12:00 and said DS was in his crib talking to himself, and when she returned at 3:30, Nanny said DS had just woken up.  He usually naps for 1 to 2 hours.  MIL noticed right away that DS had a poopy diaper and went to change him, and again, red bottom.  I later texted Nanny and asked about their day and she said he napped from 12:30 to 2:15.  So I'm not sure why she told MIL at 3:30 that he had just gotten up.

Nanny is very attentive to DS whenever I am there, but I am not sure what other explanation there could be for the frequent diaper rash other than she is not paying attention to him when I am not there.  Also, the timing of MIL's visits today and the fact he was in his crib at 12:00 and Nanny said he had just gotten up at 3:30 has me really concerned.

Is it time to let her go?  If not, what else do I say?  And what do I do to be assured that she is being attentive to DS?

sadie+w

PS: Sorry my siggy is so ancient.  I deleted it out of the Signature section in 'My Account' under 'Avatar' . . . so I'm not sure why it's still showing up.

MickeyM04

I was on the fence about the diapers because DS gets diaper rash all the time in bouts. He won't have any rash for a month and then he will have a rash every day for a month, even when I'm with him and changing him constantly.

However, you flat out caught your nanny in a lie. She told your mom he had just woken up at 3:30 and told you he woke up at 2:15. Is this because she left him in the crib the whole time? Maybe, maybe not. Even if not, if she's lying about this, what else is she lying about.

Also I agree with PP that I would question her judgment to forget wipes or to not figure out some alternate method to deal with the situation, like changing him without wipes, especially if it's urine like she claims, or using paper towels or asking someone else at the park for wipes or towels or whatever. I find it hard to believe there was no solution other than to leave him in the diaper and it would bother me that she didn't have the common sense to think of something else.

Go with your gut on this one.

chloebeth930

If you are feeling that something is off then I would trust your gut. 

Mustardseed2007

The thing that would bother me the most is that you have repeatedly had conversations with her about changing your child's diaper right away and it's not sinking in.

I understand that things can happen on occasion, but if your boss has made a point to say - make sure you handle X, then again says, I noticed you didn't handle X, please make sure you handle X in the future, and then you continue not to be on top of it, then you have an employee issue. She ought to be super concerned about diaper changing with your child b/c you have made a point of speaking with her about it.

emberlee3

If you can't trust to change your kid's poopy diaper, then you can't trust her to care for your child.  Let her go.