being done?

KatyKatMeowz

A spin off, to try and generate discussion: for those of you who have decided you were done, how did you decide? What are your reasons?

Bonus: is anyone else leaning towards one and done territory?

KatyKatMeowz

I'm on the fence myself, but I've realized recently that while I always said I wanted 2, when I pictures myself with kids before I had kids my mental pictures only ever had one baby. I feel satisfied with the one I have and no real desire for more, but I have trouble letting go of the idea of a second.

Stormytucker

I am on the fence also! I love being able to dedicate time to my little guy and I really do feel fulfilled right now. I am not however, going to take the option completely off the table yet.

My mom said it took me getting independent and then realizing she missed having someone depend on her like a baby, so my brother came along eight years later! Who knows how I will feel down the road.

KatyKatMeowz

That's an interesting insight, and part of why I don't want to take the option off the table just yet. I feel like this when my dude is 10 months, but will I feel the same way when he's 5? One is easier financially too, though, so I guess there are pros and cons to everything, lol.

PB102012

We are one and done, but not doing anything permanent until LO is at least 2....

nnikki10

We at least want 1 more and possibly another after that. We have discussed on trying may15. I kinda want to start trying jan15. But we will see. DH really wants us to have 3 total.

BlueJewelM

DH has only ever wanted 2. (He is one of 6, and didn't want a big family of his own). He is also turning 40 this year, and is really hesitant to be 60 when his last child graduates high school. I can certainly understand that.

I wouldn't mind a 3rd but I'm feeling fulfilled with 2. I always knew I wanted a sibling for DS1. When I held DS2 and brought him home, I had this very nice calm "complete" feeling. My family felt full and done. I think that feeling comes at the right time for everyone. Sometimes it's with 1, sometimes 6!

amief

PB102012 said:

We are one and done, but not doing anything permanent until LO is at least 2....

This is probably us.  I always wanted 2, but now I'm pretty sure we are good with just 1.  On the practical side:  It was a rough pregnancy and my body had a hard time healing from the C section.  We are getting relatively old, both have busy jobs and 1 is more financially affordable.    

On the more intangible side: I don't feel any desire for another yet at all, and haven't along the way; I somehow just feel that we are a complete family as is.  

I do struggle with DS not having any siblings though.  I am 1 of 4, and I can't imagine not having my sisters.  

janneann1127

The plan was always to have 2. Both my husband and I felt that way before we had kids at all. He is one of two kids, and enjoyed having a sibling. I am technically one of three, but I was basically raised as an only child. (my parents separated my brother and I when we were young in their divorce, and my sister is 10 years younger than me.)

Maybe because of that, I'm not a big fan of chaos. I like things to be orderly and I like structure. Having kids has been a little tough for me, because as most of you know, kids are chaos! You can never predict what they're going to do, and the more you have, the more chaotic. The transition from one to two kids was particularly difficult, and I have absolutely no desire to do it again.

As my H likes to say, right now we are man on man. We do not want to be outnumbered. :-)

TeacherMom210

We would ideally like 2, but it will depend on finances. DH is in grad school right now, aiming to make administration (we're both teachers). With the pay increase, it would be more manageable. So for right now, we're sitting tight, but I don't want to wait too long if we go for it because I don't want to be pregnant past 35.

Michelle N

We have been discussing this! I always thought I wanted two or three, but I'm having doubts. I thought by now is be ready to at least discuss planning for number two, but I'm far from it. I would feel bad in a way for lo because he doesn't have cousins, and we aren't close with anyone with kids yet.. So I think he'd be lonely. On the other hand though, he's very spoiled with our attention and I have a feeling he would struggle with jealousy. I guess my kids will be further apart in she than I had planned. I don't know how people do it!

carrotcake06

We were always in the two-maybe-three camp. The big one was a challenge from the beginning - he sleeps like crap and is super high energy.

H had to convince me to TTC when the big one was 2.5yo. I just wasn't into it, but knew that I didn't want more than a 3-4yr age gap between kids. We halfheartedly TTC and got pg immediately. With twins.

I don't know if the twins are easier babies, the big one really is a challenge, or I'm just used to this parenting thing. Going from the double team to zone has been so very hard. It's been one helluva year.

H and I went to dinner last night and while we agree w are done, no ones doing anything permanent.

PB102012

@carrotcake06 Happy Birthday to your older (not so) little one!!

Moosesoar

PB102012 said:

We are one and done, but not doing anything permanent until LO is at least 2....

Same.

magdalina.h

We're done because financially we can't afford another pregnancy (high risk so 80 bazillion appts) and my anxiety is just too much. Plus I can't imagine Alexis not being the baby of the family.