One of the DC workers caused DS to freak out

bumpuser10331514

My 19-mo-old son freaked out when he saw one of the workers at his DC. She doesn't work with the kids, but does the cooking or the cleaning - I'm not 100% sure. She happened to walk by as I was bringing DS and DD in and DS refused to go any further, backed away, started crying, then wanted me to pick him up. I'd never seen him so adverse to someone. He has no stranger danger, generally speaking, and he loves his DC. Even the first day or two back at DC after my maternity leave with DD, he had some separation anxiety, but it was nothing compared to this reaction. I'm quite certain she has never watched him. 

I did talk to the management about it, but they didn't have any concerns with the woman; and I asked them not to mention it to anyone unless they actually did have concerns. I also didn't want it mentioned b/c I didn't want any of the other girls who watch DS and DD to think I'm trying to stir-up trouble or that they have to tiptoe around me b/c I'm overly sensitive/paranoid. 

I know kids can be funny sometimes, and by bringing it up with the manager, I was being overly cautious; but would this kind of reaction bug anyone else? Would anyone have done anything differently? Is there anything else I should do? Have I just alienated my DC that I absolutely love?

welly01

That would have freaked me out, too.  I'm not sure what else you can do besides what you've already done.  Does she have any features that make her look very different than anyone else or was she wearing something different like a hat maybe?

jellybean529

Maybe he had a bad dream with her in it? Or she had something on her shirt that scared him? Kids are so funny!

bumpuser10331514

She looked the same as usual. And she wears an "official" DC shirt everyday. Maybe she just snuck up on him as she walked by and he wasn't expecting anyone to come through the doorway. He also recovered pretty quickly during the time it took us to get to his room (about 15 ft down the hallway).

I'm glad I said something, otherwise I think I'd be tossing and turning about it at night with the worst possible scenarios running through my head. When we first put DS in DC, we left him with a woman who watched a few kids in her home. Among other concerns, he was always kind of out of it when we picked him up. We ended up terminating on the suspicion that she was just leaving him by himself for long periods instead of playing with and engaging him. And, strangely, no matter when we picked him up, he was always in his carseat ready to go. And her son (who lived with her) once commented about how loudly he could cry - which was disturbing b/c DS is really fricking mellow and almost never cries. The last straw was when he had a tear on his cheek and her response was, "Why don't you ask him what's wrong?" Then when my DH got him home, his back was soaked with milk. Clearly she gave him the milk and walked away. He spilled all over himself, cried b/c he was  uncomfortable, and she didn't do anything. Then had the audacity to give us lip? 

Point being, I thought DS's flat affect was probably just typical for a baby, so I tried not to worry about it, but knowing what I know now - there definitely was something wrong. I still torture myself thinking about it. So, I'm comfortable having said something to this DC for that reason, also, but it's still important to make sure I'm not overreacting.

This parenting stuff. Holy crap. I'm going to be wreck before either of them is even out of diapers.

[Deleted User]

The fact that he settled down quickly is a good sign.  

I would just watch for demeanor changes.  It seems like you are aware of what to look for based on your past experience.  

[Deleted User]

Overreacting would be immediately yanking him without discussion.  

This?  This is just saying "Hey, it's probably nothing but I am mentioning it anyway."  

I wouldn't worry about alienating your daycare.  They are used to people freaking out over the small stuff like the wrong sippy in Timmy's cubby. They probably appreciated the fact you discussed it with them in a non-accusatory and rational manner.