What is happening with my toddler?!

pnwlover12

My daughter and I have always been thick as thieves. She was always a super love bug and attached to my hip. But...the past couple months she has been growing increasingly distant towards me. Tonight after story time she actually said to me "go! Go!" And didn't want me to give her a hug and kiss goodnight. I am in tears.

She hasn't changed whatsoever towards DH, in fact it's quite the opposite. She is now super clingy to him and pushes me away. Is this normal? Do toddlers go through phases like this? Could it be pregnancy related, as far as her knowing there is another baby coming?

I hate this.

eacaldw

I'm a FTM, so I don't have an answer for you.  I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and sending a hug your way!  I can imagine how difficult it has to be for you!

JJsMum

DS#1 absolutely did this to me.  Right around 2 (I think?) he started telling me to go away, and that he needed daddy to help him.  Or only daddy could fix his owie.  After the first month of tears (mine) I started to enjoy how liberating it was!  Of course, eventually he became a mama's boy again, and now I have a Jonathan tan line on my right leg...

MrMrsandBaby

DD was like this with DH for MONTHS.  She didn't want him ever, was all mine all the time.  She has turned a corner in the last few months and is now a total daddy's girl.  It's a phase and it sucks big time but it is just a phase.

pnwlover12

JJsMum said:

DS#1 absolutely did this to me.  Right around 2 (I think?) he started telling me to go away, and that he needed daddy to help him.  Or only daddy could fix his owie.  After the first month of tears (mine) I started to enjoy how liberating it was!  Of course, eventually he became a mama's boy again, and now I have a Jonathan tan line on my right leg...

You have no idea how relieved I am to hear this. It's insanely hard to deal with. Thank you for sharing your experience.

pnwlover12

eacaldw said:

I'm a FTM, so I don't have an answer for you.  I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and sending a hug your way!  I can imagine how difficult it has to be for you!

Thank you for the support :x

vrj0522

Yep, DS started doing this at around 23 months. It broke my heart the first few times. He still tells me to go away from time to time but I'm used to it now so I don't take it personally anymore. I think it has to do with independence and their need to make decisions for themselves. 

About 3 weeks ago he started refusing kisses too so now I have to ask him if I can kiss him before I do or I risk a tantrum. I don't always ask and he doesn't always get mad, but he does pretty regularly if I kiss him and he is not in the mood for it. 

I think it's all normal although I know it's completely shocking to the system when it starts to happen. I'm sorry it's made you sad! How old is your daughter? 

Maggie6424

Dh is a SAHD so DS1 has almost always favored him. However, there have been two or three phases lasting weeks or months where DS wants nothing to do with me. Just runs from me like I'm going to beat him, doesn't want me to pick him up and won't come to me. Oh. My. God. it hurts so bad. But each time he gets over it and things return to normal. It sucks so bad when it happens, but things will always swing back.

Justabean3

My ds1 very much did around 18 months - 2.5 off an on with one of us.

After the new baby came he decided mommy was cool again

MendozaAJ

My DD is 2 years 3 months and has just started screaming for me to leave her alone. I think it's just a phase trying to sort through being their own person asserting independence. Hugs momma : (

pnwlover12

vrj0522 said:

Yep, DS started doing this at around 23 months. It broke my heart the first few times. He still tells me to go away from time to time but I'm used to it now so I don't take it personally anymore. I think it has to do with independence and their need to make decisions for themselves. 

About 3 weeks ago he started refusing kisses too so now I have to ask him if I can kiss him before I do or I risk a tantrum. I don't always ask and he doesn't always get mad, but he does pretty regularly if I kiss him and he is not in the mood for it. 

I think it's all normal although I know it's completely shocking to the system when it starts to happen. I'm sorry it's made you sad! How old is your daughter? 

She will be 3 the end of October.

pnwlover12

Maggie6424 said:

Dh is a SAHD so DS1 has almost always favored him. However, there have been two or three phases lasting weeks or months where DS wants nothing to do with me. Just runs from me like I'm going to beat him, doesn't want me to pick him up and won't come to me. Oh. My. God. it hurts so bad. But each time he gets over it and things return to normal. It sucks so bad when it happens, but things will always swing back.

I'm with you, it feels like the worst feeling in the world!

pnwlover12

Justabean3 said:

My ds1 very much did around 18 months - 2.5 off an on with one of us.

After the new baby came he decided mommy was cool again

How convienent of him

kindacrunchy

Yep, my three year old dd does this from time to time. She always comes back around to wanting only me pretty shortly though. I have read somewhere that with girls there is something to do with pheromones that make them start to favor their dad's around age two, I don't know how much merit there is to that but it helps take the sting away.

turtlewifey

My DD is right around the same age as yours, and she has been slowly turning into a total Daddy's girl the past few months. DH is loving it. Me? Not so much! She has told me to "go away" multiple times, and has started running to him first.

Mom friends of mine have said the same thing about their kids. I think it is developmental.  They are starting to want more independence, it isn't personal. Hang in there! It will get better again.

Starfish17

My DS went through a phase like this, maybe around 2.5 or so - He would "dismiss" us from his room at bedtime.  I think it's a way of exerting their independence/ preference. Now it's more about who is giving him what he wants most of the time.  My DD is in a serious mama phase right now so we'll see how long that lasts. Not sure how it's going to roll when #3 comes along and she has to share.   I think all you can do is just be there so that in case she decides she wants you instead, you can be available. 

bumpuser10309732

FTM but I'm sorry you're going through that with DD, I would feel the same! Toddlers can be so hot & cold in that way. Hopefully things go back to normal soon!

BeanNut

I'm sorry!  She may go through this again when the baby is born.  Mine did.  Try not to take it personally although I know that it's easier said than done.  

DanielleB27

My 2 year old has done this for a while at bedtime. My DH is a SAHD, so she spends all day with him. At bedtime, she wants him to read her the same book every night, and then she wants in her crib, and tells us to "shut the door." I agree with PP that it is a phase, but a difficult one at times for sure. Hang in there!

pnwlover12

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support.