In law question

haylo33

I'll try to make this brief. I posted a few days ago about how DH totaled his car. Now we are car shopping. We were conflicted on whether to buy a cheap old car or a newer car. My mother in law found a van advertised on her work classifieds. It is a 2004 honda odyssey with 130,000 miles for $4700. We explained that it would be too hard because when you buy private party, there is no financing. So my MIL offered for them to put up the cash and we could pay them back. So we went to look at it and was not very impressed. Ever since, she has been pressuring us to buy it. MIL and FIL both made comments how we aren't in a position to be picky. Today DH told her she is pressuring us and she told us not to look a gift horse in the mouth. Am I wrong for being picky? We can get a loan no problem but were stressing because I'm not getting paid since I'm on leave. I just feel like it isn't really giving if there are strings attached. I feel like they are saying "here is $4500 but you have to do what we think". What would you do? Am I wrong for thinking it is our decision despite their help?

springbeduk2

Not wrong. It should totally be your choice.
If they're being like this now then even if you get that vehicle .. what happens when you decide it's time to replace it.
Plus that vehicle doesn't sound like such h a great deal so why waste their money? Shouldn't do that any more than you'd waste your own. And many other reasons.

usernewname

As someone whose in laws bought their car. We could only say thank you. It wasnt even the brand we wanted.

My in laws are very involved. I had to bite my tongue plenty and say thank you. I wish we get a little more independence from them but it does help. Sigh.

Say thank you. Unless you can find a big reason wrong with it to make it a deal breaker even for her. Sorry

Eta. It totally sucks.

DBonfante

There's a ton of miles on the car. Also I wouldn't want to owe anyone anything. I would politely decline and say you are still researching other options. Take your time buying a car is a big decision especially with such precious cargo ;-).

ksyknelvr73

This frustrates me for you...my in-laws bought DH his vehicle and I wasn't happy with the actual vehicle whatsoever for many reasons, but ultimately I just had to shut my mouth and graciously accept their gift. It was awesome when it had a major repair needed not even 2 months after we got it also and had to fork out a ton of money to fix it (kind of defeating the purpose of us not spending our own money). Sorry you are in this situation

usernewname

ksyknelvr73 said:

This frustrates me for you...my in-laws bought DH his vehicle and I wasn't happy with the actual vehicle whatsoever for many reasons, but ultimately I just had to shut my mouth and graciously accept their gift. It was awesome when it had a major repair needed not even 2 months after we got it also and had to fork out a ton of money to fix it (kind of defeating the purpose of us not spending our own money). Sorry you are in this situation

That would be such a kick in the face.

haylo33

Thanks. Glad to see I'm not in the wrong. They just think we are desperate and we aren't. I'm only off work for another month. Our concern is safety and reliability. Theirs is how cheap it is. They even said tonight "you have a baby to think about. You need to make the right financial decisions". I do have a baby and my number one concern is keeping that baby safe.

momthatlifts

Yeah I don't think you are being picky. No one likes a car payment and it's even worse if it's on a car you don't even like. Question though, you wouldn't be able to get a loan through your bank if you were to buy through private party?

haylo33

JKBMA2014 said:

Yeah I don't think you are being picky. No one likes a car payment and it's even worse if it's on a car you don't even like. Question though, you wouldn't be able to get a loan through your bank if you were to buy through private party?

I think I could get a personal loan. Apparently no one will finance a car older than 8 years and over 120,000 miles. I thought it was more difficult to get a personal loan since there isn't any collateral. With an auto loan they can repossess and recoup some of the money

flockofmoosen3

If you are not impressed with an old car with a lot of miles and some possible expensive repairs in the near future, don't give in and buy the car. Choose another car. If u were my friend in real life I would say the same thing. A cheap car isn't cheap when you have to fix it!

kat8805

130k isn't a ton of miles, on a vehicle that's well maintained. I've had cars that ran better at 200k than most people's 100k cars. That odyssey probably has quite a bit left in it if it was well cared for. BUT that's besides the point. You're entitled to be picky, you would be paying them back with your money, so it's your decision on how you want to spend it and what you want to buy. Check with a credit union, they usually have decent rares, and will finance a wider spectrum of borrowers.

Xath

Odysseys can last a very long time if properly maintained.  You could probably get another 70-100k out of it.  BUT, you need to know what kind of care the previous owners took of it.  Ask for maintenance records.  Early-mid 2000s Odysseys suffer from frequent transmission failure in the 100k mileage range, however, this is negated if the transmission fluid is flushed on schedule. 

The other thing you'll want to look for is rust.  I love Hondas, but they have a penchant to rust out at the bottom and important things (like your exhaust system) can just fall off on the highway if you're not paying attention.  Find a reputable mechanic, and have a full mechanical inspection done of the vehicle.  The money you spend getting the car inspected will be well worth it to have an honest assessment of the work you can expect to do in the next few years.  

The price value is dependant on the model and condition.  KBB values a 2004 Odyssey between $2700-$6000 depending on the options.  

frasey

my parents are people who would hold this over us, so there is no way in heck Id take their money. If I were in your position, Id get a new car with 3rd party financing - you get a better car, and don't have to worry about your ILs sticking their nose where it doesn't belong. I think that if you were desperate and had no other means of getting a car, then yes, sometimes you have to do what you don't want, but it doesnt sound like you're in that position. I think you'll be happier in the long run both w the car and not owing them anything. 

haylo33

Thanks. We were going to take the van to our mechanic (also family friends) and they would give us their honest opinion but the seller said he has someone else interested. I'm hoping it is sold and I don't have to worry about it. MIL said last night she is butting out but still offered the $4500 for a down payment to help lower the monthly payments if we go that way which is really nice of them. I used to love car shopping but not anymore. Not to mention I haven't had a car all week and I'm going stir crazy