Self soothing?

ArmyMedic7588

Ok so LO went through her 6 wk growth spurt I think. She had a week of horrible fussiness in the evenings. Everything is back to normal now. But since she refuses to go to sleep unless one of us holds n rocks her. I don't mind this much I love the bonding. But we can't even lay her down drowsy. She has to be completely out and even then she usually wakes up. We start all over again. It's usually the second time we lay her down that she's out. But naps during the day... Ha! They're pretty much spent in my arms or the ergo. Rarely if ever can I put her down in the pack n play and get more than 20 mins out of that. We've tried swaddling, binky, white noise. You name it. While they've helped emensely to calm her quicker I still can't leave her to herself during the day to nap. I think she needs to learn to self soothe better, especially for those random night wakings. Any suggestions?

usernewname

Samesies. Comes with the age.

Some people are lucky and have found a way to crack their babe and what works for them.

I keep reading babies begin to settle by 3 months. Some do it early. Some later. I'm. Still waiting at 9 weeks. But I went to the doc today and she wasn't concerned as his nights are fantastic.

Hang in there

spacepotatoes

They aren't really capable of soothing themselves until around 4 months. I've read that between 3-4 months is when they become aware enough off their surroundings that sleep habits and routine become important. And they want to stretch out more so they're less likely to need to be on you constantly. That's the time to get them into going down awake and learning to soothe themselves. I have no experience with this yet but it does give me hope!

Hrhodes78

I have questions about this too. DS1 was so easy that fussiness and napping was never a problem. With DS2 it's a different story. He's 6 weeks today. During the day if I'm not holding him he's fussing and won't nap unless I'm holding him. Most of the time he wakes up after I put him I'm the RNP.

Just now I let him COI in the swing. He fell asleep after 5 minutes. I feel so guilty about it but am glad he's finally taking a nap. I guess this is just a rant but it also still want someone to tell me that "it's ok" to do this. Parenting the second time around sure is tough.

THD7580

@anniemore‌ this is exactly our routine. And he's slept 6-7 hour stretches for about 2 weeks now. We make sure to do the same routine every night and it works perfectly. Bath at 630 bottle at 7 and he's out by 730-8 and stays asleep until 330-4. Up to change diaper and eat with the lights low no talking. Stays down again until 630-7 . It's all about consistency I believe.

ArmyMedic7588

Ok so I'm not really doing anything wrong then. Everyone keeps talking about self soothing and I thought maybe she doesn't cause maybe I held her too much. But I love the cuddles!! Reading happiest baby on the block. But it's the help baby sleep better version. Forget the exact name now. Using the stuff in that she slept better overall last night (2 rounds of 4 hrs each, grandma didn't get her down quick enough before that tho). Thanks ladies!

springbeduk2

Me too for the sleeping OK at night (relatively - a 3-5 hour stretch followed by 2ish hour ones) but daytime naps pretty much only on me and short; wakes up in 0-10 minutes if I put her down in the rnp or on bed. She is 2 months old.

Sometimes will sleep longer in snugli (yes we still need to get a more modern carrier) but today ad soon as we got home from the walk (40 mnutes) and I wasn't moving so much she popped right awake. I've tried getting her to sleep for the night earlier but no go most times. She really wants to cluster feed still from 6 or 7 until 9:30 or so.

Like pp I'm mostly worried about this because of daycare in the future and even now I can't even leave her with dh and mil. Well and it makes it really hard to get anything done! But the snuggles are nice though frequency of feedings in the daytime is hard on the boobs.

I hope she'll be ready to self soothe closer to 3 months than 4 though as I have to be back to work before 4!

Curious to hear updates from OP and others in the same boat (esp if you are EBF) if things change with age or if you try a schedule/system how it goes!

ArmyMedic7588

@springbeduk2‌ I'll try to remember to update if anything changes or if we try something new!!

hbird0723

sticky11 said:

My lo has had days like this, but it usually only lasts a day or 2. They're developing so rapidly at this point that everyday they see, hear, feel things differently and it's all new to them. In their ever changing world mom is the one constant, and a safe cozy place to sleep. When the need to be held all day days come I try to settle in and enjoy it, knowing or won't be like that for long.

Right now at 9 weeks lo hardly wants to be held. She'd rather sit unhindered so she can flail her limbs about and see everything. And she loves being face to face.

I also started being intentional about a 90 minute wake cycle with her. Usually she wakes, eats, we play and if she's still awake at 80ish minutes I pick her up for snuggles. Usually she'll show sleep signals before that - sneezes, yawns, glassy eyes, rubbing her face into things. Sometimes she doesn't make it to 90 minutes, but she almost never goes beyond without conking out and takes very little soothing. Sometimes she'll fuss pretty hard for a few minutes right before passing out - it's how I know she's close and I just need to keep snuggling.

Of course she eats every 2 hours like clockwork all day so sometimes it's just a half hour nap. If she's still tired she'll wake, eat, then continue the nap.

Love the advice! Mines been going through this the last couple days and I'm really trying to stick to the 90 minute schedule because I read about this before she came but sometimes it's more like 2 hours. I think I'm either trying to put her to sleep to early or too late in the cycle. Sometimes she seems ready about an hour in but I think maybe she just wants to be held but her idea of snuggling is eating too which is also how she wants to go to sleep so it's been hard to distinguish and if she's really hungry like during a growth spurt I don't want to not let her eat. She doesn't eat for long spurts of time so I think that's part of that issue. It is hard since they change so much even every day.

spacepotatoes

We've been trying to pay closer attention to the wake cycles too. We don't always get on top of it but it makes a difference when we do!

This was really helpful for keeping track of times:
https://www.troublesometots.com/baby-sleep-what-is-normal/

usernewname

spacepotatoes said:

We've been trying to pay closer attention to the wake cycles too. We don't always get on top of it but it makes a difference when we do!

This was really helpful for keeping track of times:
https://www.troublesometots.com/baby-sleep-what-is-normal/

Thank you @spacepotatoes‌ for this. Seriously. I'm going to bookmark it.
I'm realizing that maybe an earlier bedtime and not expecting 2 hour naps are much more realistic. I started tonight with bath time at 730 instead of 8. Mind you he's still comfort nursing but I'm hoping he's out in a few minutes. He also did have his 2 month needles today so gets a pass too.

ArmyMedic7588

I will update saying that Last night was the first time in weeks that she didn't sleep on one of us at some point during the night. Maybe it was because DH was on duty for the firehouse so we were home alone. He's usually the one that gives into her wanting to sleep on us quicker and doesn't always spend the time to try and get her into her own bed. (Just a note when she sleeps on us it's not in our bed) I think constantly playing wave sounds last night helped. I was able to change, feed, and get her back to sleep alone in about 30-45 mins each time. I can handle the multiple wake ups of it doesn't take 2 hrs everytime to put her back to bed. Fx she's starting to make things easier for her mommy!

Arinias

Just wanted to say I am in the same boat. He sleeps a good 8 hour stretch at night but for naps either I am holding him or sometimes he will sleep in the swing. I am glad to read it gets better when they are older, I feel like I am indulging him too much by holding him all the time but if I try to put him in the crib he is awake in 10 mins and will cry. It does make me worry about daycare though, I only have 3 more weeks at home with him